Women are "Damaged Goods" after 30..
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Anonymous
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Women think they can slut around in their late 20s and start finding a mate in their early 30s. Not a good combination for ticking clocks.
Do your shutting around 18-23, then seek a husband in your mid to late 20s. |
Anonymous
It shouldn't take longer than 4-6 months for you to figure out if someone is marriage material. If you're not heading toward commitment and discussing it, move on. No drama, just realize wonderful as he may be, you're not on the same page. I mentioned two relationships in the two years I dated a lot, each around 3-4 months. There were some red flags with both from the start but there was also a real connection and in the case of the second one, chemistry like no other. So I stuck around for a bit. Over the following few months, it became clear one was insecure and the other had been dumped recently and they were just not a good match for me at the time. You have to know what you want and go get it. I don't think it was luck, or at least not mostly luck. I also don't think I'm somehow a special case. It was hard work but also fun. I must have gone on 50+ first dates...So much happier now.  . OP, don't worry, you are young! Heck, I'm pretty sure I could do it again if needed at 40 or 45 if necessary (god forbid).
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Anonymous
This is why I got divorced. When I die, I want my money to go to someone who loves me. |
Anonymous
When you date in your 30's it's fairly easy to spot guys who are incompatible. At this point in life nobody should date for more than 6 months if you're not on the same page about your future. Everyone I know who began dating their spouse in their30's were engaged within a year. You get much better about giving up the idea of someone having "potential" and focus on who they are now. If you have doubts, that's a clear sign to move on. Dating noncommittally for 2 years to see where things go is what 20 year olds do. |
Anonymous
Some men would prefer women who aren’t sluts in the first place |
Anonymous
+1 True, but seriously, consider what a sad and pathetic life she leads...what a thing to announce with such matter-of-fact resignation. |
Anonymous
No we don't. |
ddintysons
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PP - how does your DH feel in this marriage? Would he take the insurance payout from your death on the way to finding love with someone new without missing a beat? You complain about men (e.g., when you say "Most men are terrible in bed") but likely do not have a realistic outlook on your own marketability. How do you know that men live their entire lives focused on sex and female approval while most women do not (what? - seek male approval?) I hope you really do not believe this crap and are just a garden variety troll. When you state that most men are terrible in bed, do you mean the ones you have banged are terrible in bed (since you do not direct data on any others)? How would your former f-buddies rate you? My bet, you think you were the highlight of their lives and still do and they cannot remember your name. Most women are not damaged goods at any age. However, some (like this poster) are damaged at whatever age they are. |
Anonymous
I don't care what any of my previous partners think about me sexually. Obviously it bothers you that I wouldn't ever marry again and would be content staying single. I'm damaged because if my spouse died I wouldn't remarry? It's statistically true that most men go from relationship to relationship once they have had a serious partner or have been married. |
Anonymous
Because as soon as men lose sexual interest they usually die soon. That's a fact. Women go on to live years after menopause. |
ddintysons
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OMG. Glad you told me.
So as long as I (a man) stay interested in sex I get to live? Cool. I am headed to Earl's and Bushel and Barrel in Tysons 1 ASAP. |
Anonymous
| Women are like a good whiskey. They get better and stronger with age. |
Anonymous
No idiot that's men, women are like milk |
Anonymous
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OP - i don't think most people think about it in terms quite as severe as your friends put it (damaged goods....), but the reality is that the pools of both men and women dry up pretty quick after age 30. So regardless of what they're thinking of you, it begs the question of what do you think about them?
I'm 40, and had to wrack my brain to think of people in my social circles who met their significant other after age 30. I can think of one friend who did - he is quirky, and met a very quirky wife (she had been previously married). I think they will be happy together, and am not surprised given their quirkiness that they didn't find each other until mid thirties. Another friend (divorced) ended up sort of cohabitating and making babies with another woman in our social circle --they were both around 35 or so. Definitely an odd relationship. Not the kind of thing you dream about for your life when you're 22, but it totally works for them. Other than that, i can't think of any friends who met their significant other after age 30. I do, however, have a lot of friends who were single at age 30 and continue to be pretty perpetually single since then (10 years later). I remember when my DH and i were in our early 30s, having a discussion about how, despite the world telling you that everyone eventually meets their special someone, we had a LOT of single friends ages 32-37 who it was pretty clear were probably going to stay single. The people we were talking about (10 years ago) are all still single. In fact, most had pretty dry dating lives in their 30s. Point of that is, of course no man is going around blacklisting attractive women as "damaged goods" just because she is post 30. That said, in my experience, the majority of single people at age 32 are unlikely to find a wonderful relationship. They will either stay more single than not, or will end up in the kind of relationship that isn't where they imagined they'd end up. |
Anonymous
Then you can come on DCUM and complain your wife only pretended to like sex to get married and cut you off entirely once the ring was on. |