Anonymous wrote:Seems like lots of women think they're the one that got away. Some guy somewhere that did them wrong is now pining for them as they live the good life. This is a curious bit of psychology.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I take from this spin off and the original is that most people think quite highly of themselves.

I'm seeing this thought process: Nope nobody got away from me, but I certainly am the one that got away for 2-3 other people!

1) we rewrite history. What you remember isn't always what happened. (i.e. you really did think she was the one that got away when she broke up with you, as opposed to now, where you are looking at her facebook page and realizing she got a little chubbbbbby.

2) you can't know that your ex really thinks you are the one that got away. It could be he thinks he dodged a hollow-tipped bullet, and you just think you are better for him than his current wife/situation. Not always the case.

got that off my chest.

+100000

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I take from this spin off and the original is that most people think quite highly of themselves.

I'm seeing this thought process: Nope nobody got away from me, but I certainly am the one that got away for 2-3 other people!

1) we rewrite history. What you remember isn't always what happened. (i.e. you really did think she was the one that got away when she broke up with you, as opposed to now, where you are looking at her facebook page and realizing she got a little chubbbbbby.

2) you can't know that your ex really thinks you are the one that got away. It could be he thinks he dodged a hollow-tipped bullet, and you just think you are better for him than his current wife/situation. Not always the case.

got that off my chest.

+100000

I posted +1000 and I honestly think part of it is men are more sentimental/prone to missing an ex than women. Within my friend group almost every woman has been contacted by an ex at some point or another- I would say a fraction of my guy friends are contacted by an ex gf. I think men like to put on a front of being unaffected and if anything that contributes to having trouble getting over a person

I posted +1000 and I honestly think part of it is men are more sentimental/prone to missing an ex than women. Within my friend group almost every woman has been contacted by an ex at some point or another- I would say a fraction of my guy friends are contacted by an ex gf. I think men like to put on a front of being unaffected and if anything that contributes to having trouble getting over a person

taketothebank wrote:

I posted +1000 and I honestly think part of it is men are more sentimental/prone to missing an ex than women. Within my friend group almost every woman has been contacted by an ex at some point or another- I would say a fraction of my guy friends are contacted by an ex gf. I think men like to put on a front of being unaffected and if anything that contributes to having trouble getting over a person

Not sure this post's logic works:

1) "Almost every woman has been contacted by ex" - In our society, men are much more likely to initiate romantic contact with a woman than women are with a man. The fact that ex bf initiated the contact with the ex gf is likely given the fact that the man initiated the contact with the woman in the first place.

2) "fraction of guy friends contacted by ex gf" - Please see the point above.

Therefore, fact that men are more likely to contact an ex than women are could be more related more to the fact that men normally contact women in the first place, not how much the ex bf misses the ex gf.

This is interesting since based on this thread alone, the female posters post much more often that they are the "one that got away" than they male posters do. I realize that female posters outnumber male poster so this could account for this fact. It is also possible these women believe they "got away" when if fact other women also believe they "got away" from the same man. It other words, it is very unlikely any one woman is the "one and only one that got away" for any one man.

taketothebank wrote:The logix is still flawed.

Contact during a relationship is not relevant since contacting each other is what relationship is about. Contact after a relationship is over is different because the prior relationship is concluded.

Any new contact is the beginning of a new relationship or the beginning of a different type of relationship (i.e., we became friends after we broke up).

Saying "I would not have a problem contacting my ex but do not because I do not want to" is circular reasoning.

The most useful post is one noting that men often contact former lovers to have sex again. He called me to get laid makes so much more sense than he called be because I was the one that got away.

Do many of your friends call former lovers to have sex with them? How many have been called by a past sexual partner seeking to have sex again?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I take from this spin off and the original is that most people think quite highly of themselves.

I'm seeing this thought process: Nope nobody got away from me, but I certainly am the one that got away for 2-3 other people!

1) we rewrite history. What you remember isn't always what happened. (i.e. you really did think she was the one that got away when she broke up with you, as opposed to now, where you are looking at her facebook page and realizing she got a little chubbbbbby.

2) you can't know that your ex really thinks you are the one that got away. It could be he thinks he dodged a hollow-tipped bullet, and you just think you are better for him than his current wife/situation. Not always the case.

got that off my chest.

Not to highjack the thread, but I'm curious why this is considered a problem? What's wrong with thinking highly of yourself? Serious question.

Nothing, actually. Perhaps my choice of words was wrong.

But the people who are saying they are the "one that got away" really have no idea if they are or not. They've been following their ex's life (apparently) (and in my eyes, this is a clue that they think he may have been then one that got away) and think they were better than what he ended up with. When, in reality, they have no idea, because they are not in that marriage.

Thanks for replying. I am PP who posted about XBF naming his kid after me. Unfortunately, I know I'm the one that got away for him, because he has posted it on Facebook several times. Every year on my B-day, he posts some old pic of us together saying "The one that got away".He's been doing this for like 8 years. I don't think I'm better than who he chose after me (although, I do think highly of myself ), but I definitely think he realizes he made a mistake letting me go. I am/was overweight and he let his friends and family convince him that he could do better. He loved me, but my weight really bothered him. But I was like, Dude! I was fat when you fell in love with me. Don't get mad at me because I put it on you! Anyway, I didn't lose the weight, but I graduated from an Ivy, I have an income close to seven figures, and most would say my DH is a catch. My life now is pretty cool and I've done well. I think he feels as though if we had stayed together, he would be doing well too. I did accept his friend request 8-9 years ago so he could see how great my life is even as a fat chick and I could watch his fall apart. I know that makes me a bad person. Sorry, kinda sorry, okay not sorry. I do feel bad that he is twice divorced and he still sends me these sorry a$$ messages talking about "Let me know when you come it town, let's have dinner" or "I saw your mom at Kroger and she gave me a hug!' GTFOH!

Anonymous wrote:Your problem is you cannot read. The poster said that in a relationship each person calls the other. That is why it is called a relationship. No one is waiting by the phone for call.

If a relationship is over, it is over and there no longer "courtship rituals" for relationships that are over.