S/O Are you someone's "one that got away"?

[Anonymous]

Yes, I am one. It's not an identity I wanted but here it is.

Ultimately, I'm glad how it worked out-I have my dh and amazing kiddos. He has a controlling gal who already has kids and won't have one for him. This part, I feel bad for him about. But I'm glad I'm 'away'. I hope things work out for him.

[Anonymous]

Seems like lots of women think they're the one that got away. Some guy somewhere that did them wrong is now pining for them as they live the good life. This is a curious bit of psychology.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems like lots of women think they're the one that got away. Some guy somewhere that did them wrong is now pining for them as they live the good life. This is a curious bit of psychology.

+1 It's delusional thinking. Ladies, if a man wanted to be with you, he would have proposed or otherwise expressed so when he had the opportunity.

[Anonymous]

I had a few guys pine for me in my twenties. They lived their lives, but they'd call me every so often and check up on me. One tried with me from high school until I was forty and on my second marriage and a new pregnancy, and he finally gave up.

Of course, now I've become old, fat, and ugly, so they'd be glad they dodged a bullet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I am. Was my first high school boyfriend. We dated through junior year. Broke up and got back together while I was midway through college and he was in Marines. Broke because he cheated and his friends kept telling him I was fat. He married the first chick he dated after we broke up. New wife stalked me for a while because she knew I was still the one. Then ol' boy and stalker wife named their daughter after me. Super weird. He's now divorced and he sends me facebook messages once or twice a month that I completely ignore. We were over 20 years ago and he still thinks I'm going to eventually leave my DH for him.

Whaaaaat. Seriously?!?

That happened to a friend of mine. Wife initiates divorce, remarries, has a son, gives son the same name as ex-husband. She also started contacting ex-husband right after son was born, it was all very odd.

Odd yes, but for a spouse to accept naming their child after the ex or their husband or wife is more than odd.

I'm the pp of that. Straight up truth. When I found about the name I thought he was just telling me that, but then years later, I actually saw pics of the kid with our shared name on his Facebook page and I was like WTF!!!! I actually then reached out to him and was like WTF? How did you get ol'girl to agree to that? He said he just loved the (my) name and wanted to be able to say it everyday for the rest of his life. And wife didn't have a choice! I can not make this $hit up. We are from a small town (I don't live there anymore, but he and his XW do) most people in the town know we dated for a long while, so many friends will run into him and his kid--find out kid's name and then call me or (or my mom) and tell/ask me about it. I still find it hard to believe that I had such an effect in someone.

[Anonymous]

I hope so. (S.H., I'm thinking about you here!) I often wonder if it was a mistake to leave that relationship. Stupidity of youth.

[Anonymous]

Two. Both of them came to me shortly before they married and said if I'd marry them, they wouldn't marry. Shrug. If I had wanted to marry either of them, I would have. That was over 30 years ago, have seen them both from time to time. One still marriedl, but still mentions that to me from time to time. He was a serial cheater, presumably still is. Other has since married someone else, hopefully they're both happy.

I happily married someone else.

[Anonymous]

What I take from this spin off and the original is that most people think quite highly of themselves.

I'm seeing this thought process: Nope nobody got away from me, but I certainly am the one that got away for 2-3 other people!

1) we rewrite history. What you remember isn't always what happened. (i.e. you really did think she was the one that got away when she broke up with you, as opposed to now, where you are looking at her facebook page and realizing she got a little chubbbbbby.

2) you can't know that your ex really thinks you are the one that got away. It could be he thinks he dodged a hollow-tipped bullet, and you just think you are better for him than his current wife/situation. Not always the case.

got that off my chest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I take from this spin off and the original is that most people think quite highly of themselves.

I'm seeing this thought process: Nope nobody got away from me, but I certainly am the one that got away for 2-3 other people!

1) we rewrite history. What you remember isn't always what happened. (i.e. you really did think she was the one that got away when she broke up with you, as opposed to now, where you are looking at her facebook page and realizing she got a little chubbbbbby.

2) you can't know that your ex really thinks you are the one that got away. It could be he thinks he dodged a hollow-tipped bullet, and you just think you are better for him than his current wife/situation. Not always the case.

got that off my chest.

Not to highjack the thread, but I'm curious why this is considered a problem? What's wrong with thinking highly of yourself? Serious question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I take from this spin off and the original is that most people think quite highly of themselves.

I'm seeing this thought process: Nope nobody got away from me, but I certainly am the one that got away for 2-3 other people!

1) we rewrite history. What you remember isn't always what happened. (i.e. you really did think she was the one that got away when she broke up with you, as opposed to now, where you are looking at her facebook page and realizing she got a little chubbbbbby.

2) you can't know that your ex really thinks you are the one that got away. It could be he thinks he dodged a hollow-tipped bullet, and you just think you are better for him than his current wife/situation. Not always the case.

got that off my chest.

Not to highjack the thread, but I'm curious why this is considered a problem? What's wrong with thinking highly of yourself? Serious question.

Nothing, actually. Perhaps my choice of words was wrong.

But the people who are saying they are the "one that got away" really have no idea if they are or not. They've been following their ex's life (apparently) (and in my eyes, this is a clue that they think he may have been then one that got away) and think they were better than what he ended up with. When, in reality, they have no idea, because they are not in that marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two men. An artist who is now and then homeless. His sister and I are still FB friends. And a local politician who got married a couple months after I dumped him, but kept texting me until Spitzer.

Eliot Spitzer? Your ex is Eliiot Spitzer???!!!

===> or ===============>> just wondering.

[Anonymous]

I came here to ask how would one know if they are the 'one who got away'. I used to have a guy where there was a flirtation reach out to me about once a year to 'try it out', that stopped when his last message coincided with my dating someone seriously (who I later married and divorced). But I assume he's gotten over it by now.

I know I have my person like that, but I wonder if anyone truly knows they are that person (minus that PPs who had the declaration post engagement and other such declarations). I think more people are this for someone than one would suspect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two men. An artist who is now and then homeless. His sister and I are still FB friends. And a local politician who got married a couple months after I dumped him, but kept texting me until Spitzer.

Eliot Spitzer? Your ex is Eliiot Spitzer???!!!

===> or ===============>> just wondering.

I think PP means until the Eliot Spitzer scandal broke and her ex went underground.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I take from this spin off and the original is that most people think quite highly of themselves.

I'm seeing this thought process: Nope nobody got away from me, but I certainly am the one that got away for 2-3 other people!

1) we rewrite history. What you remember isn't always what happened. (i.e. you really did think she was the one that got away when she broke up with you, as opposed to now, where you are looking at her facebook page and realizing she got a little chubbbbbby.

2) you can't know that your ex really thinks you are the one that got away. It could be he thinks he dodged a hollow-tipped bullet, and you just think you are better for him than his current wife/situation. Not always the case.

got that off my chest.

+100000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I take from this spin off and the original is that most people think quite highly of themselves.

I'm seeing this thought process: Nope nobody got away from me, but I certainly am the one that got away for 2-3 other people!

1) we rewrite history. What you remember isn't always what happened. (i.e. you really did think she was the one that got away when she broke up with you, as opposed to now, where you are looking at her facebook page and realizing she got a little chubbbbbby.

2) you can't know that your ex really thinks you are the one that got away. It could be he thinks he dodged a hollow-tipped bullet, and you just think you are better for him than his current wife/situation. Not always the case.

got that off my chest.

Not to highjack the thread, but I'm curious why this is considered a problem? What's wrong with thinking highly of yourself? Serious question.

Nothing, actually. Perhaps my choice of words was wrong.

But the people who are saying they are the "one that got away" really have no idea if they are or not. They've been following their ex's life (apparently) (and in my eyes, this is a clue that they think he may have been then one that got away) and think they were better than what he ended up with. When, in reality, they have no idea, because they are not in that marriage.

Thanks for replying. I am PP who posted about XBF naming his kid after me. Unfortunately, I know I'm the one that got away for him, because he has posted it on Facebook several times. Every year on my B-day, he posts some old pic of us together saying "The one that got away".He's been doing this for like 8 years. I don't think I'm better than who he chose after me (although, I do think highly of myself ), but I definitely think he realizes he made a mistake letting me go. I am/was overweight and he let his friends and family convince him that he could do better. He loved me, but my weight really bothered him. But I was like, Dude! I was fat when you fell in love with me. Don't get mad at me because I put it on you! Anyway, I didn't lose the weight, but I graduated from an Ivy, I have an income close to seven figures, and most would say my DH is a catch. My life now is pretty cool and I've done well. I think he feels as though if we had stayed together, he would be doing well too. I did accept his friend request 8-9 years ago so he could see how great my life is even as a fat chick and I could watch his fall apart. I know that makes me a bad person. Sorry, kinda sorry, okay not sorry. I do feel bad that he is twice divorced and he still sends me these sorry a$$ messages talking about "Let me know when you come it town, let's have dinner" or "I saw your mom at Kroger and she gave me a hug!' GTFOH!