Fiance' just signed up for gay dating/hook up site
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Anonymous
| OP, first of all, I am sorry. Second, no matter how much you love or care about this person ... do NOT remain in any type of a relationship. Love and care from a distance. This is not solvable. Trust me ... I didn't find out until after 30 years of marriage. You have been given a gift ... please run. |
Anonymous
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Don't let him explain this away. If he's engaged but exploring in any way (including just signing up but supposedly not following up on it), he's in MAJOR denial and crisis internally. He may go full court press on explanations, denial, expressing his feelings for you. Expect that.
Don't fall for it. Even if he's crushed. It's no good for him or you to move forward now. |
Anonymous
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I can tell you that we get a lot of spam to our accounts and the only way we can get rid of it is to log in to an account someone made using our email and change their info/email so we no longer get it. Or sometimes we just jack with their info and change the password depending on how unhelpful the websites are.
(we have a generic email like "emailme@yahoo" so we get so much sexual/creepy/political/job hunt crap.) If you are SURE that the data was his (or even if you aren't) a conversation is due. And that engagement obviously would have to be off. |
Anonymous
| End it. Move on. I'm sorry. |
Anonymous
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"Dave, we need to talk. I know you have an account on gaybuddy.com. I'm guessing you might have purposely left your browser open so I would see it...or maybe not. It doesn't really matter. Bottom line is we can't get married. I'm obviously blindsided by this. I love you and I'm here for you if you want to talk, but we really don't have to if you don't want to. But you do have to man up and take responsibility for this. I'm not going to shoulder the burden of canceling the wedding myself. So let's talk about how to shut this down as quickly as possible."
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Anonymous
| I'm calling TROLL unless you can explain to me how you couldn't possibly know your fiancée is gay. |
Anonymous
I recently went on dates with two accomplished women who found out after many years their husband was gay. Similarly my ex is gay and I know of a number of guys who have had similar experiences. The point is you may not know until many years post wedding. Some of these people are master manipulators. |
Anonymous
| Well, at least he won't be making a secret love children that would need financial support!! |
Anonymous
| How old are you OP? It's devastating, but you can find someone better. There is also the possibility he wants out of the engagement and signed up so you'd see it, but he's not really gay. It could be a trick to get out of marrying you. Either way, he's not the one for you. Better to find out now than later. |
Anonymous
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This is why I laugh when people say to "trust your intuition"
It is so often wrong. |
Anonymous
My brother did this. And he and his spouse had a 10-month-old son. smh |
Anonymous
Hi, I participated twice and have been dealing with this all day. So sorry I wasn't able to log back on. He was completely blindsided when I asked him about it. Denied it, I showed him. He said it was his buddy Marc's (who was over last night) not his. He was going crazy and told me that he would have Marc come over and explain it to me. |
Anonymous
| As one of DH's old roommates once said: sucking cock is not a phase. |
ZachF
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That is some quick backpedaling. You should have called Marc right then. Now he has time to beg Marc to take the fall for this and save his ass, when this story makes no sense. No man is going to let his friend use his e-mail account and computer to sign on to a gay dating site. There is no reason for Marc to do that. Marc would logically create his own email address just to use for that site or other down-low activities and use his own damn computer. But, do let Marc explain this to you and please come back and tell us how that goes. Ask Marc how your F was supposed to be handling the messages Marc got from the site for him, and why? Here is a good one. Ask him to tell you the password to "his" (Marc's) profile on the site and your Fs password for his email. If he doesn't know either of those, how was he supposed to log in and find a gay guy, check his messages, etc. I really feel for you and hope it all works out for you no matter how this ends. I also really hope I'm wrong. ETA: If the profile disappears then that's a sure sign it's your fiance's profile and he took it down now that you caught him. Marc would have no reason to take it down. He's trying to find a man with the help of his really good friend, right? |
ZachF
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| @#$ |