Fiance' just signed up for gay dating/hook up site

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't let him explain this away. If he's engaged but exploring in any way (including just signing up but supposedly not following up on it), he's in MAJOR denial and crisis internally. He may go full court press on explanations, denial, expressing his feelings for you. Expect that.

Don't fall for it. Even if he's crushed. It's no good for him or you to move forward now.

+1. I found emails not quite the same as this while dating my ex that should have caused me to break it off. He explained it away and I naively believed him. In my defense I was in my very early 20s. We ended up divorced. Don't put yourself through it. You will 100% end up miserable and get divorced.

[Anonymous]

Man are you all homophobic or what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man are you all homophobic or what?

Not homophobic. We're monogamous.

[Anonymous]

I don't see what all the discussion is about. She found out he's freakier than she expected and she either stays with him or doesn't. What's the big deal?

[Anonymous]

Sorry to pile on here, OP but you need to end it. Your fiance is probably gay, at least bi and willing to put your health at risk. As a man, let me promise you he will not be able to suppress this for life. Unless you are comfortable with an open marriage and your husband sleeping with men, you need to end it.

And I say this as someone who would be open to a second chance for him if he was merely cheating with a woman

[Anonymous]

Fortunately you aren't married yet, don't have kids, and your lives really aren't intertwined, so it's rather easy to cut and run. There's nothing to discuss here, and there's nothing to fix. Cancel the wedding and consider yourself lucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most straight guys don't have close buddies who are gay. If Marc really is gay and felt comfortable enough to use your fiancee's browser to set up an account at your place while hanging out with your fiancée, that's still a red flag. You should still cancel the wedding.

I don't believe the Marc thing, but this is just drivel. Plenty of straight guys have good friends who are gay.

There may be a number of straight men who have a gay friend, but most do not.

[Anonymous]

Well, what happened after the Mark thing? Surely you didn't accept that as truth....

[Anonymous]

He could be doing research.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

ZachF wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op are you male or female?

Op is a troll. This far into a thread is always a clear and no participation from op means troll.

Hi, I participated twice and have been dealing with this all day. So sorry I wasn't able to log back on. He was completely blindsided when I asked him about it. Denied it, I showed him. He said it was his buddy Marc's (who was over last night) not his. He was going crazy and told me that he would have Marc come over and explain it to me.

That is some quick backpedaling. You should have called Marc right then. Now he has time to beg Marc to take the fall for this and save his ass, when this story makes no sense. No man is going to let his friend use his e-mail account and computer to sign on to a gay dating site. There is no reason for Marc to do that. Marc would logically create his own email address just to use for that site or other down-low activities and use his own damn computer.

But, do let Marc explain this to you and please come back and tell us how that goes. Ask Marc how your F was supposed to be handling the messages Marc got from the site for him, and why? Here is a good one. Ask him to tell you the password to "his" (Marc's) profile on the site and your Fs password for his email. If he doesn't know either of those, how was he supposed to log in and find a gay guy, check his messages, etc.

I really feel for you and hope it all works out for you no matter how this ends. I also really hope I'm wrong.

ETA: If the profile disappears then that's a sure sign it's your fiance's profile and he took it down now that you caught him. Marc would have no reason to take it down. He's trying to find a man with the help of his really good friend, right?

Straight married guy with gay friends and ex-roommates:
I 1000% agree. NONE of my gay friends would have used my computer or phone to browse gay dating websites, let alone use my personal email to register for an account. They are all constantly on their iPhones trolling around for dudes on Grindr and Scruff. It makes zero sense to use my device.

I call BS on your fiance's really bad lie. Also, I question the veracity of anything Marc says.

+1000000. We have a lot of gay friends, no way in hell they would ever do this on our computer. NO WAY.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How the hell do y'all find yourselves in these outrageous predicaments where you find yourselves totally taken aback about something regarding the very character and personality of someone you planned on spending your life with? Are you in such a rush to get married that you just bypass the whole "getting to know you" process? WTF?!!

Stop being Judgy.

Op. Do not trust anything this person says to try to please calll me! once you that you are mistaken. You are not mistaken nor are you guilty of anything. Get out now despite what your pubic pride may say to. You. Cut it off. Run and don't look back. I had sa imilar circumstance. I wasted 20 years of my youth/life this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How the hell do y'all find yourselves in these outrageous predicaments where you find yourselves totally taken aback about something regarding the very character and personality of someone you planned on spending your life with? Are you in such a rush to get married that you just bypass the whole "getting to know you" process? WTF?!!

3 years together, how do you force someone to tell you everything? Why do people hold back information? Why would he sign up for something like this 3 months before the wedding?

he may want her to know. Can't speak it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How the hell do y'all find yourselves in these outrageous predicaments where you find yourselves totally taken aback about something regarding the very character and personality of someone you planned on spending your life with? Are you in such a rush to get married that you just bypass the whole "getting to know you" process? WTF?!!

3 years together, how do you force someone to tell you everything? Why do people hold back information? Why would he sign up for something like this 3 months before the wedding?

he may want her to know. Can't speak it.

Leaving the browser open was his way of making her end the engagement. Too cowardly to be honest.

[Anonymous]

OP, end it. Why would you want to enter into a marriage that was a complete lie? You need to move on. I agree that leaving the browser open was his way of letting you find out so you could do the heavy work. He wants out but does not know how to break it off (hence he is getting you to do it for him).

[Anonymous]

The story doesn't sound right. What website sends an email with a plain text password in it nowadays?