Anonymous wrote:OP here.

1) we are financially independent,
2) we never claim to be stressed or overwhelmed because we aren't (and wouldn't have a 3rd if that were the case),
3) we do not rely on them for babysitting or other support because they are not in the DC dmv area,
4) my MIL is a very opinionated person who has almost no filter, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but this is a happy occasion and I suppose I was overly optimistic that she would have a good reaction. I usually just shut her down and am very direct with her, but chose to ignore her initial comment.
5) by FIL usually just goes with whatever my MIL tells him. I am positive he is projecting her concerns,
6) we have two demanding careers but my job is fairly flexible-- so between the flexible schedule and our help at home, we are fine,

I have chosen to ignore my FIL's comment for now. I will give him the benefit of the doubt that it was just one off-hand comment. If either of them negatively comments again, either I or DH will shut them down. We are grown adults with stable careers, a nice house (in the city- so good commutes), and two well behaved children. It isn't as though we have given them a reason to doubt our abilities to handle another child. So it is particularly aggravating that they feel at liberty to be negative about this happy occasion when they will not be impacted at all.

Anonymous wrote:How many children does your MIL have? This might be an insecurity thing. I've seen some women (not most certainly) get weirdly threatened by another woman having more kids, particularly if that woman also has a great career. It's like you are showing off or showing them up by making different choices (ridiculous I know, but some people get super weird about woman who are successful both at motherhood and professionally).

Anonymous wrote:How many kids do they have? Sounds like they're projecting and worrying - I wouldn't be offended.