Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From my experience the "good quality guys" are a hot commodity and the "good quality girls" usually make a bee line for them in college and the first few years out. In order to identify these guys early, you need to already have a good head on your shoulder and know whats what.

That dorky STEM major who isn't the "YAAAA BRUHHH" party boy and wears button downs at 20 probably comes from a "good" family with parents who care and invested in his personal and educational achievement. A good girl from a "Good" family will be able to identify this and date him even though many many girls would pass him up at that age.

By the time these people hit 30...this dory kid would have a stable career maybe not earning millions but will be supplemented by occasional help from parents etc. He will also be married with a girl smart enough to see his potential when he was young and uncool.

I see my friends in their early 30s frantically looking for the kind of guy they couldn't be bothered with 10 years ago. Then, they're bitter towards the women who have "landed" the kind of guy they want (what's so great about her? she got lucky! and so on...)

For every uncool guy with potential who becomes "successful and financially secure" there are 10 who don't. It's a gamble. It may be the best way to go, but you'd better make sure you actually do love the person or else you may be looking at a very unhappy future.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Most men just don't care about ambition in women. But they do seem to want a fairly smart women, maybe to ensure the kids are pretty smart, too

It's not complicated. We don't pick a wife based on her career. We value looks, personality, and intelligence in the woman sitting in front of us, that we spend our lives with. That's not news! The kids will turn out however they turn out.

But women do pick their husbands based on his career?

Apparently. Career, income, status. There seems to be a lot of keeping up with the Jones among women that I and my buddies didn't do when acquiring wives.

I call bullshit. You never compare your wife's looks to your buddy's wife's looks?

Anonymous wrote:
I call bullshit. You never compare your wife's looks to your buddy's wife's looks?

Anonymous wrote:I don't date as I would rather make sure my kids are provided for over a gold digging woman.

Anonymous wrote:Any guy with some game and money definitely won't be looking to find a woman in DC. There are tons of places in Asia and Latin America that are way better. But there are some scrubs with money in the US and they still poke around US girls. It's like they've never seen the light.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From my experience the "good quality guys" are a hot commodity and the "good quality girls" usually make a bee line for them in college and the first few years out. In order to identify these guys early, you need to already have a good head on your shoulder and know whats what.

That dorky STEM major who isn't the "YAAAA BRUHHH" party boy and wears button downs at 20 probably comes from a "good" family with parents who care and invested in his personal and educational achievement. A good girl from a "Good" family will be able to identify this and date him even though many many girls would pass him up at that age.

By the time these people hit 30...this dory kid would have a stable career maybe not earning millions but will be supplemented by occasional help from parents etc. He will also be married with a girl smart enough to see his potential when he was young and uncool.

I see my friends in their early 30s frantically looking for the kind of guy they couldn't be bothered with 10 years ago. Then, they're bitter towards the women who have "landed" the kind of guy they want (what's so great about her? she got lucky! and so on...)

For every uncool guy with potential who becomes "successful and financially secure" there are 10 who don't. It's a gamble. It may be the best way to go, but you'd better make sure you actually do love the person or else you may be looking at a very unhappy future.

Early 50s here. Every single one of my nerdy and/or unpopular friends from college are making major money or are already retired having cashed in on the tech bubble 20 years ago. All of them are married, to their original wives.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any guy with some game and money definitely won't be looking to find a woman in DC. There are tons of places in Asia and Latin America that are way better. But there are some scrubs with money in the US and they still poke around US girls. It's like they've never seen the light.

Now we're getting somewhere...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I call bullshit. You never compare your wife's looks to your buddy's wife's looks?

Never. My wife's looks are a bit unconventional, but the only thing I covet is a thinner version of her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of them were in serious relationships coming out of grad school. They became financially secure after becoming married. The best time to catch one is when they are young.

If you want the still single late 20s early 30s attractive financially successful, normal man, you are competing heavily for them. They are rare and they know it.

The most successful men I know (the ones I'd actually want to be married to, not the rich assh*les) were married young. Few of them seem to look to their personal lives for adventure, they get enough stress from their jobs. Most of these guys wanted just someone attractive and supportive, which is why so many women look at the wives of these guys and are stumped as to why Successful Guy is so happy with his lovely, but largely unremarkable, SAHM. Women tend to think that successful men should be reserved for female professional powerhouses, when most truly successful men just don't care about that stuff.

Yes, your average $200,000/year striver type guy might care what his future wife does, but virtually none of the seven figure earners I know see to care one bit.

Whilst it is true that many don't care about having a wife with a successful professional career, many men DO care about having a nice, loving, super supportive SAHM who raises the kids, runs the household, and let's him focus on his office work.
Especially the divorced ones with kids, they learned the hard way that they need a woman at home doing everything and liking it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From my experience the "good quality guys" are a hot commodity and the "good quality girls" usually make a bee line for them in college and the first few years out. In order to identify these guys early, you need to already have a good head on your shoulder and know whats what.

That dorky STEM major who isn't the "YAAAA BRUHHH" party boy and wears button downs at 20 probably comes from a "good" family with parents who care and invested in his personal and educational achievement. A good girl from a "Good" family will be able to identify this and date him even though many many girls would pass him up at that age.

By the time these people hit 30...this dory kid would have a stable career maybe not earning millions but will be supplemented by occasional help from parents etc. He will also be married with a girl smart enough to see his potential when he was young and uncool.

I see my friends in their early 30s frantically looking for the kind of guy they couldn't be bothered with 10 years ago. Then, they're bitter towards the women who have "landed" the kind of guy they want (what's so great about her? she got lucky! and so on...)

For every uncool guy with potential who becomes "successful and financially secure" there are 10 who don't. It's a gamble. It may be the best way to go, but you'd better make sure you actually do love the person or else you may be looking at a very unhappy future.

Early 50s here. Every single one of my nerdy and/or unpopular friends from college are making major money or are already retired having cashed in on the tech bubble 20 years ago. All of them are married, to their original wives.

I think there is a myth in some cultures that this isn't the case (above), but it is. The good guys have no interest in getting married more than once - they know exactly what the gold diggers are doing - they would rather be with their original wives who stuck by them before (the guy) had money.

Anonymous wrote:"I am sad to say that I agree with this. My husband and his coworkers all make a lot. They all have married well educated and intelligent women but none of the women are very ambitious and all either stay home or work very part time. Most men just don't care about ambition in women. But they do seem to want a fairly smart women, maybe to ensure the kids are pretty smart, too."

All the guys that I know choose their wives because the wives are smart. They might be just okay looking, but they know what they are getting. (i.e.: NOT a gold digger - those are obvious).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Most men just don't care about ambition in women. But they do seem to want a fairly smart women, maybe to ensure the kids are pretty smart, too

It's not complicated. We don't pick a wife based on her career. We value looks, personality, and intelligence in the woman sitting in front of us, that we spend our lives with. That's not news! The kids will turn out however they turn out.

But women do pick their husbands based on his career?

Apparently. Career, income, status. There seems to be a lot of keeping up with the Jones among women that I and my buddies didn't do when acquiring wives.

I call bullshit. You never compare your wife's looks to your buddy's wife's looks?

I did not try to get a wife as hot as the next guy's. Nor did my friends try. I found a woman who was cute _enough_ for me. I thought she was pretty and I was proud to have her on my arm, but at the end of the day what other people thought of her was irrelevant.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I call bullshit. You never compare your wife's looks to your buddy's wife's looks?

Never. My wife's looks are a bit unconventional, but the only thing I covet is a thinner version of her.