Where do all the successful, financially secure men hang out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I "caught" my sane, handsome, kind, and financially secure DH in my 30's - online. He's introverted with few social ties, which is why no one snapped him up sooner.

I'd rather have a less financially secure guy who's extroverted with good social skills and a lot of friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From my experience the "good quality guys" are a hot commodity and the "good quality girls" usually make a bee line for them in college and the first few years out. In order to identify these guys early, you need to already have a good head on your shoulder and know whats what.

That dorky STEM major who isn't the "YAAAA BRUHHH" party boy and wears button downs at 20 probably comes from a "good" family with parents who care and invested in his personal and educational achievement. A good girl from a "Good" family will be able to identify this and date him even though many many girls would pass him up at that age.

By the time these people hit 30...this dory kid would have a stable career maybe not earning millions but will be supplemented by occasional help from parents etc. He will also be married with a girl smart enough to see his potential when he was young and uncool.

I see my friends in their early 30s frantically looking for the kind of guy they couldn't be bothered with 10 years ago. Then, they're bitter towards the women who have "landed" the kind of guy they want (what's so great about her? she got lucky! and so on...)

[Anonymous]

LOL at $250k. I am a XH who has to make $300k per year just to pay my Child Support and own living expenses. I don't date as I would rather make sure my kids are provided for over a gold digging woman. FWIW, XW remarried and just came back from a vacation with new husband to celebrate a milestone bday. Does that make me financially secure?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I "caught" my sane, handsome, kind, and financially secure DH in my 30's - online. He's introverted with few social ties, which is why no one snapped him up sooner.

I'd rather have a less financially secure guy who's extroverted with good social skills and a lot of friends.

+1

And if we need more money I can find a way to earn it. Lots of wannabe handmaids on this site.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL at $250k. I am a XH who has to make $300k per year just to pay my Child Support and own living expenses. I don't date as I would rather make sure my kids are provided for over a gold digging woman. FWIW, XW remarried and just came back from a vacation with new husband to celebrate a milestone bday. Does that make me financially secure?

How high maintenance and low earning is your XW that you need that much money????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL at $250k. I am a XH who has to make $300k per year just to pay my Child Support and own living expenses. I don't date as I would rather make sure my kids are provided for over a gold digging woman. FWIW, XW remarried and just came back from a vacation with new husband to celebrate a milestone bday. Does that make me financially secure?

No gold digger would be interested in you. You have no disposable income!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I "caught" my sane, handsome, kind, and financially secure DH in my 30's - online. He's introverted with few social ties, which is why no one snapped him up sooner.

I'd rather have a less financially secure guy who's extroverted with good social skills and a lot of friends.

+1

And if we need more money I can find a way to earn it. Lots of wannabe handmaids on this site.

+1000

[Anonymous]

You are all so quick to judge. Maybe when the OP wrote "successful and financially secure" she meant a regular guy with a good job and not alot of debt. That phrase can mean a lot of different people. You all jumped to the conclusion that her friend is a gold digger. Maybe she is an educated woman who does not want to be the sole breadwinner.


"Successful" means $150k, $250k, or $500k per year. Occasionally Ivy League, "pedigree", retirement plan details, car model specifics, or medical degree are also required. Various women on this site define it different ways, but it is always defined to exclude employed guys who are actually available.

Nah, by successful I mean somebody who makes about the same amount I do (low 100s). I don't want to be taken care of, but I don't want to have to take care of someone else. My DH fits that bill. I would have considered someone who earned less than me if it were in a field that would give him more flexibility and time to care for our kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL at $250k. I am a XH who has to make $300k per year just to pay my Child Support and own living expenses. I don't date as I would rather make sure my kids are provided for over a gold digging woman. FWIW, XW remarried and just came back from a vacation with new husband to celebrate a milestone bday. Does that make me financially secure?

How high maintenance and low earning is your XW that you need that much money????

Very high maintenance and doesn't work, never did. My child support is a minimum of 6 figures annually as it was calculated when I made over $500k in the year of the divorce. Yep, I am a tool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL at $250k. I am a XH who has to make $300k per year just to pay my Child Support and own living expenses. I don't date as I would rather make sure my kids are provided for over a gold digging woman. FWIW, XW remarried and just came back from a vacation with new husband to celebrate a milestone bday. Does that make me financially secure?

How high maintenance and low earning is your XW that you need that much money????

Very high maintenance and doesn't work, never did. My child support is a minimum of 6 figures annually as it was calculated when I made over $500k in the year of the divorce. Yep, I am a tool.

I hope that at least she is beautiful and was great in bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From my experience the "good quality guys" are a hot commodity and the "good quality girls" usually make a bee line for them in college and the first few years out. In order to identify these guys early, you need to already have a good head on your shoulder and know whats what.

That dorky STEM major who isn't the "YAAAA BRUHHH" party boy and wears button downs at 20 probably comes from a "good" family with parents who care and invested in his personal and educational achievement. A good girl from a "Good" family will be able to identify this and date him even though many many girls would pass him up at that age.

By the time these people hit 30...this dory kid would have a stable career maybe not earning millions but will be supplemented by occasional help from parents etc. He will also be married with a girl smart enough to see his potential when he was young and uncool.

I see my friends in their early 30s frantically looking for the kind of guy they couldn't be bothered with 10 years ago. Then, they're bitter towards the women who have "landed" the kind of guy they want (what's so great about her? she got lucky! and so on...)

Yep. The thing is these successful guys (good career, good well off family, not commitment phobic) are invisible to all but very few girls when they're in their twenties. These guys are unusually well mannered, dress in a "dorky" way (button downs and jeans that don't fall off their hips), don't necessarily party the hardest, they aren't usually the biggest loudest alpha in the room. They're usually off at some educational summer camp, playing video games or hanging out with their family. They do not go out of their way to get laid or date for the sake of dating.

The smart girls find them when they are 22, and marry them by the time they're 25-26. The guys are still kinda dory, don't earn anywhere near 6 figures but come from a foundation of success and life expectation that almost guarantees a good life.

By 30 they usually land good 6 figure jobs, a good members in their communities and already married with a child or two on the way. Its very very rare for them to be single past 28.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I "caught" my sane, handsome, kind, and financially secure DH in my 30's - online. He's introverted with few social ties, which is why no one snapped him up sooner.

I'd rather have a less financially secure guy who's extroverted with good social skills and a lot of friends.

Good for you. My DH has excellent manners and is able to converse easily; being an introvert doesn't mean being a rude, standoffish troglodyte.

[Anonymous]

LOL I'm so happy my average $200,000/year striver guy wanted a female professional powerhous

He probably wanted a particular woman who does whatever she does at work, details don't matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of them were in serious relationships coming out of grad school. They became financially secure after becoming married. The best time to catch one is when they are young.

If you want the still single late 20s early 30s attractive financially successful, normal man, you are competing heavily for them. They are rare and they know it.

The most successful men I know (the ones I'd actually want to be married to, not the rich assh*les) were married young. Few of them seem to look to their personal lives for adventure, they get enough stress from their jobs. Most of these guys wanted just someone attractive and supportive, which is why so many women look at the wives of these guys and are stumped as to why Successful Guy is so happy with his lovely, but largely unremarkable, SAHM. Women tend to think that successful men should be reserved for female professional powerhouses, when most truly successful men just don't care about that stuff.

Yes, your average $200,000/year striver type guy might care what his future wife does, but virtually none of the seven figure earners I know see to care one bit.

I think this is true. It's been true IME anyway. The super successful guys I know from college or work all seem to have SAHMs or wives who work very very very part time.

It's depressing though.

/working mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of them were in serious relationships coming out of grad school. They became financially secure after becoming married. The best time to catch one is when they are young.

If you want the still single late 20s early 30s attractive financially successful, normal man, you are competing heavily for them. They are rare and they know it.

The most successful men I know (the ones I'd actually want to be married to, not the rich assh*les) were married young. Few of them seem to look to their personal lives for adventure, they get enough stress from their jobs. Most of these guys wanted just someone attractive and supportive, which is why so many women look at the wives of these guys and are stumped as to why Successful Guy is so happy with his lovely, but largely unremarkable, SAHM. Women tend to think that successful men should be reserved for female professional powerhouses, when most truly successful men just don't care about that stuff.

Yes, your average $200,000/year striver type guy might care what his future wife does, but virtually none of the seven figure earners I know see to care one bit.

Whilst it is true that many don't care about having a wife with a successful professional career, many men DO care about having a nice, loving, super supportive SAHM who raises the kids, runs the household, and let's him focus on his office work.
Especially the divorced ones with kids, they learned the hard way that they need a woman at home doing everything and liking it.

Vomit

Haha