Where do all the successful, financially secure men hang out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From my experience the "good quality guys" are a hot commodity and the "good quality girls" usually make a bee line for them in college and the first few years out. In order to identify these guys early, you need to already have a good head on your shoulder and know whats what.

That dorky STEM major who isn't the "YAAAA BRUHHH" party boy and wears button downs at 20 probably comes from a "good" family with parents who care and invested in his personal and educational achievement. A good girl from a "Good" family will be able to identify this and date him even though many many girls would pass him up at that age.

By the time these people hit 30...this dory kid would have a stable career maybe not earning millions but will be supplemented by occasional help from parents etc. He will also be married with a girl smart enough to see his potential when he was young and uncool.

I see my friends in their early 30s frantically looking for the kind of guy they couldn't be bothered with 10 years ago. Then, they're bitter towards the women who have "landed" the kind of guy they want (what's so great about her? she got lucky! and so on...)

For every uncool guy with potential who becomes "successful and financially secure" there are 10 who don't. It's a gamble. It may be the best way to go, but you'd better make sure you actually do love the person or else you may be looking at a very unhappy future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of them were in serious relationships coming out of grad school. They became financially secure after becoming married. The best time to catch one is when they are young.

If you want the still single late 20s early 30s attractive financially successful, normal man, you are competing heavily for them. They are rare and they know it.

The most successful men I know (the ones I'd actually want to be married to, not the rich assh*les) were married young. Few of them seem to look to their personal lives for adventure, they get enough stress from their jobs. Most of these guys wanted just someone attractive and supportive, which is why so many women look at the wives of these guys and are stumped as to why Successful Guy is so happy with his lovely, but largely unremarkable, SAHM. Women tend to think that successful men should be reserved for female professional powerhouses, when most truly successful men just don't care about that stuff.

Yes, your average $200,000/year striver type guy might care what his future wife does, but virtually none of the seven figure earners I know see to care one bit.

Whilst it is true that many don't care about having a wife with a successful professional career, many men DO care about having a nice, loving, super supportive SAHM who raises the kids, runs the household, and let's him focus on his office work.
Especially the divorced ones with kids, they learned the hard way that they need a woman at home doing everything and liking it.

Vomit

Haha

I am sad to say that I agree with this. My husband and his coworkers all make a lot. They all have married well educated and intelligent women but none of the women are very ambitious and all either stay home or work very part time. Most men just don't care about ambition in women. But they do seem to want a fairly smart women, maybe to ensure the kids are pretty smart, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I "caught" my sane, handsome, kind, and financially secure DH in my 30's - online. He's introverted with few social ties, which is why no one snapped him up sooner.

I'd rather have a less financially secure guy who's extroverted with good social skills and a lot of friends.

Good for you. My DH has excellent manners and is able to converse easily; being an introvert doesn't mean being a rude, standoffish troglodyte.

I wanted someone who could expand my friend network.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I "caught" my sane, handsome, kind, and financially secure DH in my 30's - online. He's introverted with few social ties, which is why no one snapped him up sooner.

I'd rather have a less financially secure guy who's extroverted with good social skills and a lot of friends.

Good for you. My DH has excellent manners and is able to converse easily; being an introvert doesn't mean being a rude, standoffish troglodyte.

I wanted someone who could expand my friend network.

I'm PP; I apologize for my knee-jerk reaction. That's completely understandable. DH and I both moved around a lot for our education and jobs. I think there was an element of feeling disconnected for both of us. My larger point was that great men are out there, and they are not always single because they have severe character defects or are players. It's tough to move to a new city and bust into existing social networks unless you are very dynamic and extroverted. DH and I both met some great acquaintances in DC, but found it difficult to make true friends.

[Anonymous]

Most men just don't care about ambition in women. But they do seem to want a fairly smart women, maybe to ensure the kids are pretty smart, too

It's not complicated. We don't pick a wife based on her career. We value looks, personality, and intelligence in the woman sitting in front of us, that we spend our lives with. That's not news! The kids will turn out however they turn out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Most men just don't care about ambition in women. But they do seem to want a fairly smart women, maybe to ensure the kids are pretty smart, too

It's not complicated. We don't pick a wife based on her career. We value looks, personality, and intelligence in the woman sitting in front of us, that we spend our lives with. That's not news! The kids will turn out however they turn out.

But women do pick their husbands based on his career?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I "caught" my sane, handsome, kind, and financially secure DH in my 30's - online. He's introverted with few social ties, which is why no one snapped him up sooner.

I'd rather have a less financially secure guy who's extroverted with good social skills and a lot of friends.

Good for you. My DH has excellent manners and is able to converse easily; being an introvert doesn't mean being a rude, standoffish troglodyte.

I wanted someone who could expand my friend network.

I'm PP; I apologize for my knee-jerk reaction. That's completely understandable. DH and I both moved around a lot for our education and jobs. I think there was an element of feeling disconnected for both of us. My larger point was that great men are out there, and they are not always single because they have severe character defects or are players. It's tough to move to a new city and bust into existing social networks unless you are very dynamic and extroverted. DH and I both met some great acquaintances in DC, but found it difficult to make true friends.

Thanks for the additional comments. Interesting and makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Most men just don't care about ambition in women. But they do seem to want a fairly smart women, maybe to ensure the kids are pretty smart, too

It's not complicated. We don't pick a wife based on her career. We value looks, personality, and intelligence in the woman sitting in front of us, that we spend our lives with. That's not news! The kids will turn out however they turn out.

But women do pick their husbands based on his career?

Apparently. Career, income, status. There seems to be a lot of keeping up with the Jones among women that I and my buddies didn't do when acquiring wives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Most men just don't care about ambition in women. But they do seem to want a fairly smart women, maybe to ensure the kids are pretty smart, too

It's not complicated. We don't pick a wife based on her career. We value looks, personality, and intelligence in the woman sitting in front of us, that we spend our lives with. That's not news! The kids will turn out however they turn out.

But women do pick their husbands based on his career?

Apparently. Career, income, status. There seems to be a lot of keeping up with the Jones among women that I and my buddies didn't do when acquiring wives.

I call bullshit. You never compare your wife's looks to your buddy's wife's looks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Most men just don't care about ambition in women. But they do seem to want a fairly smart women, maybe to ensure the kids are pretty smart, too

It's not complicated. We don't pick a wife based on her career. We value looks, personality, and intelligence in the woman sitting in front of us, that we spend our lives with. That's not news! The kids will turn out however they turn out.

But women do pick their husbands based on his career?

Apparently. Career, income, status. There seems to be a lot of keeping up with the Jones among women that I and my buddies didn't do when acquiring wives.

Yes women look for a resume. Men do not. Listen to how women describe an attractive man- high income, precious job/career, good family, top school, etc. There is never anything about looks, sexual appeal, etc. Everyone got upset about Trump saying if you are rich enough you can grab a woman's p****. The sad fact is it is true. I have seen women I know go from ignoring a guy to all over him as soon as they know he is rich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Most men just don't care about ambition in women. But they do seem to want a fairly smart women, maybe to ensure the kids are pretty smart, too

It's not complicated. We don't pick a wife based on her career. We value looks, personality, and intelligence in the woman sitting in front of us, that we spend our lives with. That's not news! The kids will turn out however they turn out.

But women do pick their husbands based on his career?

Apparently. Career, income, status. There seems to be a lot of keeping up with the Jones among women that I and my buddies didn't do when acquiring wives.

Yes women look for a resume. Men do not. Listen to how women describe an attractive man- high income, precious job/career, good family, top school, etc. There is never anything about looks, sexual appeal, etc. Everyone got upset about Trump saying if you are rich enough you can grab a woman's p****. The sad fact is it is true. I have seen women I know go from ignoring a guy to all over him as soon as they know he is rich.

I always looked for a handsome, funny guy. I knew I would make enough money to support myself so I didn't need rich. I did want well educated, so I got a handsome, funny, intelligent man with a good but not great career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Most men just don't care about ambition in women. But they do seem to want a fairly smart women, maybe to ensure the kids are pretty smart, too

It's not complicated. We don't pick a wife based on her career. We value looks, personality, and intelligence in the woman sitting in front of us, that we spend our lives with. That's not news! The kids will turn out however they turn out.

But women do pick their husbands based on his career?

Apparently. Career, income, status. There seems to be a lot of keeping up with the Jones among women that I and my buddies didn't do when acquiring wives.

Yes women look for a resume. Men do not. Listen to how women describe an attractive man- high income, precious job/career, good family, top school, etc. There is never anything about looks, sexual appeal, etc. Everyone got upset about Trump saying if you are rich enough you can grab a woman's p****. The sad fact is it is true. I have seen women I know go from ignoring a guy to all over him as soon as they know he is rich.

This is a 100% true.

Listen to your girlfriend describe a guy she is dating. She will say something along these lines, " He is so cute! He works at McKinsey and went to school at Harvard!"

Women are attracted to men who they feel will help elevate their status/life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Most men just don't care about ambition in women. But they do seem to want a fairly smart women, maybe to ensure the kids are pretty smart, too

It's not complicated. We don't pick a wife based on her career. We value looks, personality, and intelligence in the woman sitting in front of us, that we spend our lives with. That's not news! The kids will turn out however they turn out.

But women do pick their husbands based on his career?

Apparently. Career, income, status. There seems to be a lot of keeping up with the Jones among women that I and my buddies didn't do when acquiring wives.

I call bullshit. You never compare your wife's looks to your buddy's wife's looks?

I did not try to get a wife as hot as the next guy's. Nor did my friends try. I found a woman who was cute _enough_ for me. I thought she was pretty and I was proud to have her on my arm, but at the end of the day what other people thought of her was irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Most men just don't care about ambition in women. But they do seem to want a fairly smart women, maybe to ensure the kids are pretty smart, too

It's not complicated. We don't pick a wife based on her career. We value looks, personality, and intelligence in the woman sitting in front of us, that we spend our lives with. That's not news! The kids will turn out however they turn out.

But women do pick their husbands based on his career?

Apparently. Career, income, status. There seems to be a lot of keeping up with the Jones among women that I and my buddies didn't do when acquiring wives.

Yes women look for a resume. Men do not. Listen to how women describe an attractive man- high income, precious job/career, good family, top school, etc. There is never anything about looks, sexual appeal, etc. Everyone got upset about Trump saying if you are rich enough you can grab a woman's p****. The sad fact is it is true. I have seen women I know go from ignoring a guy to all over him as soon as they know he is rich.

This is a 100% true.

Listen to your girlfriend describe a guy she is dating. She will say something along these lines, " He is so cute! He works at McKinsey and went to school at Harvard!"

Women are attracted to men who they feel will help elevate their status/life.

This is true and will ALWAYS be true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Most men just don't care about ambition in women. But they do seem to want a fairly smart women, maybe to ensure the kids are pretty smart, too

It's not complicated. We don't pick a wife based on her career. We value looks, personality, and intelligence in the woman sitting in front of us, that we spend our lives with. That's not news! The kids will turn out however they turn out.

But women do pick their husbands based on his career?

Apparently. Career, income, status. There seems to be a lot of keeping up with the Jones among women that I and my buddies didn't do when acquiring wives.

Yes women look for a resume. Men do not. Listen to how women describe an attractive man- high income, precious job/career, good family, top school, etc. There is never anything about looks, sexual appeal, etc. Everyone got upset about Trump saying if you are rich enough you can grab a woman's p****. The sad fact is it is true. I have seen women I know go from ignoring a guy to all over him as soon as they know he is rich.

This is a 100% true.

Listen to your girlfriend describe a guy she is dating. She will say something along these lines, " He is so cute! He works at McKinsey and went to school at Harvard!"

Women are attracted to men who they feel will help elevate their status/life.

This is true and will ALWAYS be true.

No one wants to marry a loser but sadly it happens all the time.