Need advice: DD's interaction with the school's resource officer today

post reply Forum Index » Montgomery County Public Schools (MCPS)
[Post New]05/19/2017 09:00
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I honestly do not understand the issue??


A person of authority singled out a student he didn't know and gave her an order from across the room. You don't understand what's wrong because you're not experiencing the low frequency stress of fearing that, on any given day, some authority could mistake your child for someone who should be arrested or worse.

Actually, the stress is high frequency these days. Whether the guy was flirting, just awkward or trying to make a joke, it's not funny.

For you, it's not something to concerned about. But every minority parent in a majority white environment has this extra concern. Some "mistakes" can't be undone.


You're a racist.

And we aren't impressed with your 2 cent words.


I don't think that "racist" means what you think it means.
[Post New]05/19/2017 09:05
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I honestly do not understand the issue??


A person of authority singled out a student he didn't know and gave her an order from across the room. You don't understand what's wrong because you're not experiencing the low frequency stress of fearing that, on any given day, some authority could mistake your child for someone who should be arrested or worse.

Actually, the stress is high frequency these days. Whether the guy was flirting, just awkward or trying to make a joke, it's not funny.

For you, it's not something to concerned about. But every minority parent in a majority white environment has this extra concern. Some "mistakes" can't be undone.


PP is always getting the raw end of the deal. So much low and high frequency stress for POC these days!
[Post New]05/19/2017 09:39
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:It sounds like your daughter didn't think it was that big of a deal. It sounds like it was just an awkward comment he made in an attempt to joke/interact with your daughter.

If I pursued stuff like this, I would never get anything done.


As a PP said, kids this age, especially girls, will often shrug things off because they do not want to create a stir. I am not saying the OP needs to pursue anything, but a quick email to the teacher to get the proper context takes a couple of minutes. No harm in asking a question.
[Post New]05/19/2017 09:55
quote
Anonymous
Agree that you should reach out to Spanish teacher. At a minimum, word needs to get back to the Resource Officer that he should be more careful/sensitive. In addition, no one at the school can spot a pattern of 'weird' behavior if everyone shrugs it off. Spanish teacher can give context and you can decide whether to escalate (or Spanish teacher might mention it up the chain of command if it also seemed weird to him/her). Frankly, it would be better if Spanish teacher were the one escalating so it didn't come off like your daughter tattling...
[Post New]05/19/2017 11:21
quote
j2415
Member Offline
Hi, I would like to encourage you to talk to your daughter about this, if she is bothered about the incident, you might want to talk to the school, especially if this thing happen again.
My son is also minority in his school. He is the only Asian in his class. When he was in 2nd grade, he went home crying because someone bullied him at the cafeteria. It was heartbreaking to see him crying. I asked my son if he wanted me to talk to the principal and he said no, but I assured him, in case it happen again, I will go to school and talk to them. Thank God, it never happened again, and He strengthened my son to face his fears, he is now in sophomore and he is doing great.
Thank you for sharing, praying for your daughter's protection wherever she goes.
[Post New]05/19/2017 14:04
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I honestly do not understand the issue??


A person of authority singled out a student he didn't know and gave her an order from across the room. You don't understand what's wrong because you're not experiencing the low frequency stress of fearing that, on any given day, some authority could mistake your child for someone who should be arrested or worse.

Actually, the stress is high frequency these days. Whether the guy was flirting, just awkward or trying to make a joke, it's not funny.

For you, it's not something to concerned about. But every minority parent in a majority white environment has this extra concern. Some "mistakes" can't be undone.


You're a racist.

And we aren't impressed with your 2 cent words.


Do you feel better?
[Post New]05/19/2017 14:47
quote
Anonymous
[Post New]05/19/2017 15:04
quote
Anonymous
It is amazing to me that folks are trying to portray this as a helicopter situation.

This is not a situation where a kid in interacting with another kid or where a kid needs to deal with a teacher about an academic matter.

This is an adult authority figure at the school who went out of his way to make a borderline inappropriate "joke" to a teen girl he had never seen before. I am all for teaching kids that they need to self advocate and be independent. But time and time again, incidents between students and school employees have shown us that sometimes it is ok for an ADULT to ask a question or two. It is not helicoptering for a parent of a TEEN GIRL to ask about the context of a "weird" interaction between that girl and an ADULT MALE authority figure at the school.
[Post New]05/19/2017 15:08
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:It is amazing to me that folks are trying to portray this as a helicopter situation.

This is not a situation where a kid in interacting with another kid or where a kid needs to deal with a teacher about an academic matter.

This is an adult authority figure at the school who went out of his way to make a borderline inappropriate "joke" to a teen girl he had never seen before. I am all for teaching kids that they need to self advocate and be independent. But time and time again, incidents between students and school employees have shown us that sometimes it is ok for an ADULT to ask a question or two. It is not helicoptering for a parent of a TEEN GIRL to ask about the context of a "weird" interaction between that girl and an ADULT MALE authority figure at the school.


It's amazing to me that one or more people have so much invested in (repeatedly?) trying to portray this as a helicopter situation.
[Post New]05/19/2017 16:03
quote
Anonymous
If the propeller fits.......

DD and friends laughed it off, Spanish teacher obviously didn't think it was a big deal.
[Post New]05/19/2017 18:22
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I honestly do not understand the issue??


A person of authority singled out a student he didn't know and gave her an order from across the room. You don't understand what's wrong because you're not experiencing the low frequency stress of fearing that, on any given day, some authority could mistake your child for someone who should be arrested or worse.

Actually, the stress is high frequency these days. Whether the guy was flirting, just awkward or trying to make a joke, it's not funny.

For you, it's not something to concerned about. But every minority parent in a majority white environment has this extra concern. Some "mistakes" can't be undone.


Did you study under the tutelage of Cornell West or Louis Farrakhan?????

I love how you are so concerned for someone who wasn't even concerned
[Post New]05/21/2017 13:52
quote
Anonymous
I think the people who are minimizing this don't understand how inappropriate this is on many levels, especially in the school setting. I am a school counselor and formerly a teacher (20+ years). Please discuss this with administrators, it probably would be best to email and tell them you want to discuss a serious concern about inappropriate behavior by an adult in the school, then come to discuss in person.

Most school personnel do not behave in this inappropriate way. Speaking for myself and many of my colleagues we were always relieved when parents came in and complained about certain personnel who acted this way because most parents just let it go and then the behavior never got addressed. Also honestly this is probably not the only issue with this person.

I would also suggest that you request in your email that they not discuss directly with your daughter before you meet, at least not with SRO present. In any case she is only being a teenager and trying to laugh it off but she knows it was not appropriate.

Address it in a serious, non-emotional way. You know what the SRO did was wrong. This also gives the SRO an opportunity to address the issue and apologize.

The people who are saying you are a helicopter parent don't see what was wrong because they may not be sensitive to certain race, culture and other issues due to lack of personal experience.
[Post New]05/23/2017 10:09
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:If the propeller fits.......

DD and friends laughed it off, Spanish teacher obviously didn't think it was a big deal.


Yet she thought it significant enough to mention the incident to her mom and called it a "weird" exchange.

Do you actually have teenagers? Do you understand how they communicate?
[Post New]05/25/2017 15:17
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your daughter has good instincts to tell you about it. I would compliment her on her instincts. When kids say something was 'weird' they can be on to something that is 'wrong' but they don't know how to say it yet.

I would want to know why he needed to know her name and why he said 'hands up' to her. The earlier poster's suggestion asking the question of the teacher is a good one. We don't know the make up of the school, but I'm assuming it is majority white that he would find a hispanic girl and single her out (I agree with the PP who noted that even that part is odd).

I would tell my daughter that her instincts are correct and, even if it is flirting, it's not appropriate. It could be that he wasn't racial harassing her but is flirting with her (either way, your daughter is correct in giving voice to her instincts). Letting the resource officer know (indirectly) that you know what he did could get him to back off your daughter and not pay her extra attention.

Too often we tell kids to override their instincts when they meet someone and just play along or be nice. Your daughter did the right thing in saying something and you obviously have a good relationship that she wanted to share it with you.


+1


+100 - the above pp is spot on it's about inappropriate interaction and possible flirting with a student do not take it lightly. If the resource officer has no ill intent then no harm done and if he did then he knows to stay away from your daughter. Either way if your daughters version of events is correct he should not have called her out like that. Better safe than sorry
[Post New]05/27/2017 14:14
quote
Anonymous
Wow take the right not to be offended and magnify that with extrem sensitivity and we should bar all speech soon. If you assume all hands up are directed toward minorities you're part of the problem too
post reply Forum Index » Montgomery County Public Schools (MCPS)
Message Quick Reply
Go to: 

Search   Recent Topics   Hottest Topics