Need advice: DD's interaction with the school's resource officer today

[Anonymous]

Boohoo snow flake

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there are positives to this story. The fact that the resource officer was (apparently) asking the Spanish teacher how to say "Hands Up" in Spanish -- to me that's a positive.

I would have preferred if he had said "Como Estas" or something more friendly. But I don't jump to the conclusion that he was doing something racist.

You have some impressive Pollyanna skills, PP.

[Anonymous]

Why the hell would he say "hands up"?? That relates to criminality. And weird flexing of power-differential muscle. Why wouldn't he say "Buenos días" or "Que pasa?" or any one of an infinite number of phrases not loaded with negative meaning. As a parent I'd contact the school, along the lines of the PP who suggests going in slow and getting information.

--white lady

[Anonymous]

This needs an in person meet- calmly. Email is not sufficient.

[Anonymous]

Could he have mistakenly tried to say "raise your hand" (like what you do in class) but it came out as "hands up"? I think you should definitely find out what actually happened but it could be something as simple as that.

[Anonymous]

If it were the nurse she would say Jessica Tienes tos

[Anonymous]

I'm a foreigner, and don't understand the issue here. Can someone please explain?

[Anonymous]

I agree with the PPs who have suggested asking "can you help me understand what happened? this is what I heard..." sometimes I chalk my DS up to not being the best relater of all the details to see what they will tell me - I might not do that in this case for fear of letting them blame her for misunderstanding something that she clearly understood.

Let us know what they tell you, OP!

[Anonymous]

Who cares that your daughter is a minority.

It sounds like the officer was trying to joke around with the students. I can see that someone might see it as slightly distasteful. It's all about intent.

If this officer has a history of issues, then I would pursue it. Have you ever told a joke that didn't go over well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here. What I tell my kids is that it's my job to protect them and only I can decide whether to address it with the school. I appreciate their concern and will take their feelings into consideration in my decision. But it's an adult decision and I will make it. Harsh as that sounds, this has never gone badly for me because I do t go in with guns blazing - I take it slow and gather information before I react.

This is OP. This is fantastic advice. I'll send an e-mail to the school tomorrow. Thank you!

Also, phrase the e-mail as "My daughter told me that this person did this, and then this person did that. After that, my daughter says that this happened." (Instead of just flat-out declaring that the people did the stuff and the stuff happened.) Then ask them to please look into it, because if it did happen, it's a big problem because [reasons]. And also tell them what you want them to do about it if it did happen.

Perfect. Thanks!

First PP here. My style is slightly different. I agree with everything to the point of saying "if this did happen it's a big problem . . . ". I investigate first without judgment or accusations. Addressing the reasons something is a problem comes after I know that something really did happen. Again, I know my kids omit fact and embellish and that teachers can add information that can change your opinion on whether there really is a problem.

NP here. I think this is all good advice.

I would email copying all of those listed asking for clarification and then go from there.

[Anonymous]

Spanish speaker here... was the resource officer "Spanish speaking"? I ask because depending on the context "manos arriba" can mean different things. I'm still not sure what the significance of the statement is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who cares that your daughter is a minority.

It sounds like the officer was trying to joke around with the students. I can see that someone might see it as slightly distasteful. It's all about intent.

If this officer has a history of issues, then I would pursue it. Have you ever told a joke that didn't go over well?

OP does, I do, and other posters on this thread do.

[Anonymous]

Is this officer a young person? Is he native Spanish speaker? If not, I would assume he watched a show and learned that phrase and was joking. But, that doesn't make it better, he was totally inappropriate and if he can't act with respect and maturity, it is an issue.

[Anonymous]

This to me is helicopter parenting. Your daughter is probably 16 or so and you are going ot run to the principal because someone made a joke in poor taste that she didn't like. In addition, your daughter doesn't even want you to go but you don't really care about what she wants because you see this as an opportunity to make a scene and show that no one says dumb things to your kids.

You are going to have a harder time finding the principal once she is in college...or she will just stop talking to you when she realizes how you react.

She is 16 and she seemed to get that it was a bad joke. Talk to her about how she wants to manage it. You aren't protecting her from anything. She can speak up for herself to her Spanish teacher if it bothered her.

[Anonymous]

I'm Latina (FWIW) and I have mixed feelings. I can certainly understand OP wanting to get more info. But I wouldn't be outraged yet.

The race aspect doesn't bug me as much as he fact that he singled out OP's daughter. Especially after all the cases in MoCo of Security Officers preying on young (possibly Latina) girls.

Why did he want to know her name? Why was he singling (is that a word) her out? THAT would be more my concern than the 'Manos Arriba' which was probably just silly.