Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband's OW was about 50 pounds overweight and basically my physical opposite (I'm 5'2, large chest/rear end, brunette, brown eyes; she was 5'9, bleached blonde hair, flat chested and no rear end, grey eyes). I am objectively more physically more attractive.

But she was very effusive about him, constantly telling him how great he is, baking him cupcakes, etc. I was not as over the moon about him due to a variety of reasons that had arisen in our marriage. I think she made him feel amazing. I did not. There is no excuse for what he did and it may destroy our marriage completely, but I totally understand enjoying adoration. And he did the same for her. Must feel good to have someone shower you with constant compliments.

I know the OW love to hear it, but this infuriates me. See how ga-ga she is and how many cupcakes she bakes after she has to live with him for a while. Of course it's enjoyable, when you're in a bubble where no one has any responsibilities whatsoever.

This is the crux of affairs. A fantasy land. No bills to pay. No sick kids to deal with. No piano lesson to hustle the kids to. Just a hotel room and great sex, probably in ways your spouse hasn't done in years if ever. The bottom line is OWs are often waaaaaay more sexually adventurous and sex-crazy than wives. Until they get married. Then they turn all that off. And get cheated on. And the cycle begins anew ...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP - is your husband's affair over? Who broke it off?

And did you ever want to confront the other woman?

As far as I know, it's over. He broke it off after I figured it out. I am not willing to spy on him constantly to make sure it's done. That's no way to live.

I met the OW after the affair. I did not confront her. I told my husband not to tell her I knew, and I hope that he listened but who knows. I pretended I was happy to meet her and moved on. We met in a group with several of his coworkers and I didn't want to deal with any sort of confrontation. She, however, basically almost started crying and left. I was, honestly, annoyed that she couldn't keep her shit together, but oh well. She is not my problem, my husband is. I mean, i don't like her and think she has some serious character flaws, but I am not wasting my time on her.

+1

I was cheated on, it was caught and allegedly stopped, but for awhile I was paranoid and obsessed with checking up on everything -- phone calls, texts. At some point you say screw it. I can move on from this or not. With a good home and two great kids we are trying to hold it together and at some point you have to make the decision to trust again. It is the hardest thing I have ever done

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP - is your husband's affair over? Who broke it off?

And did you ever want to confront the other woman?

As far as I know, it's over. He broke it off after I figured it out. I am not willing to spy on him constantly to make sure it's done. That's no way to live.

I met the OW after the affair. I did not confront her. I told my husband not to tell her I knew, and I hope that he listened but who knows. I pretended I was happy to meet her and moved on. We met in a group with several of his coworkers and I didn't want to deal with any sort of confrontation. She, however, basically almost started crying and left. I was, honestly, annoyed that she couldn't keep her shit together, but oh well. She is not my problem, my husband is. I mean, i don't like her and think she has some serious character flaws, but I am not wasting my time on her.

+1

I was cheated on, it was caught and allegedly stopped, but for awhile I was paranoid and obsessed with checking up on everything -- phone calls, texts. At some point you say screw it. I can move on from this or not. With a good home and two great kids we are trying to hold it together and at some point you have to make the decision to trust again. It is the hardest thing I have ever done

Are you a DH or DW?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fling my DH had - wouldn't call her an AP - was with an attractive woman. Very different look than me, so it's like comparing apples to oranges.

If you're with someone that cheats at some point you have to be honest with yourself. You've picked a crappy spouse, be glad to be rid of them. I think many on here feel trapped because of kids and money.
Honestly how can you like someone after that or want to have sex? Yes a lot of trapped people it seems to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband's OW was about 50 pounds overweight and basically my physical opposite (I'm 5'2, large chest/rear end, brunette, brown eyes; she was 5'9, bleached blonde hair, flat chested and no rear end, grey eyes). I am objectively more physically more attractive.

But she was very effusive about him, constantly telling him how great he is, baking him cupcakes, etc. I was not as over the moon about him due to a variety of reasons that had arisen in our marriage. I think she made him feel amazing. I did not. There is no excuse for what he did and it may destroy our marriage completely, but I totally understand enjoying adoration. And he did the same for her. Must feel good to have someone shower you with constant compliments.

I know the OW love to hear it, but this infuriates me. See how ga-ga she is and how many cupcakes she bakes after she has to live with him for a while. Of course it's enjoyable, when you're in a bubble where no one has any responsibilities whatsoever.

This is the crux of affairs. A fantasy land. No bills to pay. No sick kids to deal with. No piano lesson to hustle the kids to. Just a hotel room and great sex, probably in ways your spouse hasn't done in years if ever. The bottom line is OWs are often waaaaaay more sexually adventurous and sex-crazy than wives. Until they get married. Then they turn all that off. And get cheated on. And the cycle begins anew ...

Anonymous wrote:My OM was WAAAY more attractive and in much better physical shape than my husband. No water held here.

Anonymous wrote:In honor of this thread, I plan on decorating my titties with cupcake icing for tomorrow's departmental meeting.

Anonymous wrote:I knew her. I never suspected because she is mentally ill and looks like a man.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband's OW was about 50 pounds overweight and basically my physical opposite (I'm 5'2, large chest/rear end, brunette, brown eyes; she was 5'9, bleached blonde hair, flat chested and no rear end, grey eyes). I am objectively more physically more attractive.

But she was very effusive about him, constantly telling him how great he is, baking him cupcakes, etc. I was not as over the moon about him due to a variety of reasons that had arisen in our marriage. I think she made him feel amazing. I did not. There is no excuse for what he did and it may destroy our marriage completely, but I totally understand enjoying adoration. And he did the same for her. Must feel good to have someone shower you with constant compliments.

I know the OW love to hear it, but this infuriates me. See how ga-ga she is and how many cupcakes she bakes after she has to live with him for a while. Of course it's enjoyable, when you're in a bubble where no one has any responsibilities whatsoever.

This is the crux of affairs. A fantasy land. No bills to pay. No sick kids to deal with. No piano lesson to hustle the kids to. Just a hotel room and great sex, probably in ways your spouse hasn't done in years if ever. The bottom line is OWs are often waaaaaay more sexually adventurous and sex-crazy than wives. Until they get married. Then they turn all that off. And get cheated on. And the cycle begins anew ...

Yes, that is exactly why I enjoyed my affair.

Anonymous wrote:In general, men affair down, women affair up. It's not that hard for an average looking woman to get an attractive married man to sleep with them. It's very hard for an average looking man to get an hot married woman to sleep with them.

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, I don't think is is just the other person's looks that determine if you affair up or down. It is a combo of looks, personality, income, fitness, etc.

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, I don't think is is just the other person's looks that determine if you affair up or down. It is a combo of looks, personality, income, fitness, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, I don't think is is just the other person's looks that determine if you affair up or down. It is a combo of looks, personality, income, fitness, etc.

Not to mention oral skills (a man's).