DH won't get a vasectomy
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Anonymous
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DH and I have been married for 3 years. I'm 33, he is 42.
We do not want children. We have never wavered on that. I know that I won't change my mind down the road. When we decided to be sexually exclusive prior to marriage, we decided that our birth control would be me taking the pill. I was 100% fine with that, as I had never had any issues with hormonal birth control. In the last year, it has done a number on me. My doctor has tried switching me to different birth control pills, IUD, Depo, etc. I've had horrid side-effects with each one. I want to go off of all birth control all together. I mentioned this to DH and suggested that he get a vasectomy. He told me that he doesn't want to go through a surgery. I told him that the only other option was for me to get a tubal ligation, but I don't want to. I've been poked and prodded so much this year, that the last thing I want to do is go through that. I also mentioned that condoms are an option and he scoffed at that too. I can guarantee that DH isn't looking to have children down the road. He's just squeamish about anyone cutting him in such a delicate area. I'm pretty pissed that he's not willing to go through with it, but would be fine with me going through it. It shouldn't all be on me. Am I wrong here? |
MikeL
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Member Offline
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Tell him to look at what's involved in a vasectomy.
To call it surgery is overstating it. It is very minor, results in some tenderness for a couple days, and you never think of it again. Lots and lots of guys have had it done, me included, and the manly hydraulics work just fine afterwards. |
Anonymous
+1. Tell him to talk to his doctor about it. Get off the pill now and start using those condoms. |
Anonymous
| Get him a jumbo pack of condoms for Christmas. It's his turn to step up. |
Anonymous
| Absolutely start with the condoms. He can scoff all he wants until he gets the vastectomy. |
Anonymous
| If it is what you want, you do the surgery. |
Anonymous
No. Tubal ligation is a more involved surgery with longer recovery time. If couples are going for a surgical solution for birth control, vasectomy wins hands down every time. You've put the burden of birth control on your body for the duration of your relationship. It's his turn. He needs to step up to the plate. Tell him his three choices are: condoms, vasectomy, or no sex! |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
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I'm going through a similar stubble with my DH as well. I've had children though. One through c-section and one through a vaginal delivery. The LEAST he could do is get the vasectomy. I have no idea why he is so afraid of it.
I don't know what to tell you. I've been nagging my DH and have started to wear him down. I think I can chip away at it eventually. And no, I absolutely do not think you are being unreasonable. |
Anonymous
+2. And you abstain unless he wears them or agrees to a V. |
Anonymous
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Some guys cannot stomach having any kind of procedure on their equipment. My guess is that he is completely terrified and won't admit it.
I don't know how forceful you want to be about it, but you can just say, "Hey Hon, I'm not using any protection so if you're sure you don't want a tax deduction next year, you better put a suit on." |
Anonymous
| Yep, buy the condoms, place them prominently in the bedroom, and make it clear that it's that or the vasectomy, his choice. |
Anonymous
| A tubal has a higher failure rate and much higher risks. |
Anonymous
| It is his body, no? |
Anonymous
Why should she? Why is she solely responsible for the family birth control??? This (very common) set up pisses me off to no end. |