DH won't get a vasectomy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Wow. I went on a call and all hell broke loose.
My husband is not looking to start a family. I promise.
He is a carrier for a very debilitating neurological disorder and doesn't want to pass it on to a child. We have a good, full life and we don't want to add children to it.
I've done a lot of research and the effectiveness of diaphragms are not high enough.
On my way home, I'm buying a box of Magnums and telling DH tonight that I am going off my BC. The only way he's getting any is by using a condom.
I have a feeling that he'll get tired of the condom game pretty fast. I'm done being 100% responsible for preventing pregnancy.

Debilitating=degenerative

[Anonymous]

My DH had it done in the Drs office under a local. I was in the next room and I could hear him chatting pleasantly with the Dr. It's so not a big deal. He was given codeine for the pain but only took ibuprofen. Minimal swelling, he was back to 100% in two days.

And it's the best thing EVER not to have to worry about an unwanted pregnancy! I think it has helped our sex life hugely as we both hate condoms, I get fat and psycho on the Pill etc.

[Anonymous]

My husband had one 30 years ago and never took anything for pain. And he's the biggest baby in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Yea, a man over 45 having a baby is irresponsible and selfish. At 45 you should be helping your kids get ready for prom, not wiping shit out of the folds of baby legs.

Don't say that. Your current DH may drop dead tomorrow (assuming you are a woman) and you may end up remarrying 40-something man who wants to have a baby. You just never know.

I'm done having babies. When I'm 45 I'm going to be attending my kids HS graduation. Not changing diapers. No way in hell would I matry an old man who wanted babies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Yea, a man over 45 having a baby is irresponsible and selfish. At 45 you should be helping your kids get ready for prom, not wiping shit out of the folds of baby legs.

Don't say that. Your current DH may drop dead tomorrow (assuming you are a woman) and you may end up remarrying 40-something man who wants to have a baby. You just never know.

I'm done having babies. When I'm 45 I'm going to be attending my kids HS graduation. Not changing diapers. No way in hell would I matry an old man who wanted babies.

Young and foolish, no doubt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Yea, a man over 45 having a baby is irresponsible and selfish. At 45 you should be helping your kids get ready for prom, not wiping shit out of the folds of baby legs.

Don't say that. Your current DH may drop dead tomorrow (assuming you are a woman) and you may end up remarrying 40-something man who wants to have a baby. You just never know.

I'm done having babies. When I'm 45 I'm going to be attending my kids HS graduation. Not changing diapers. No way in hell would I matry an old man who wanted babies.

Young and foolish, no doubt.

For not wanting to marry someone who wants children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Yea, a man over 45 having a baby is irresponsible and selfish. At 45 you should be helping your kids get ready for prom, not wiping shit out of the folds of baby legs.

Don't say that. Your current DH may drop dead tomorrow (assuming you are a woman) and you may end up remarrying 40-something man who wants to have a baby. You just never know.

I'm done having babies. When I'm 45 I'm going to be attending my kids HS graduation. Not changing diapers. No way in hell would I matry an old man who wanted babies.

Young and foolish, no doubt.

Yea...I know! Who doesn't want two in college and one in daycare? That right there is the hallmark of maturity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Yea, a man over 45 having a baby is irresponsible and selfish. At 45 you should be helping your kids get ready for prom, not wiping shit out of the folds of baby legs.

Don't say that. Your current DH may drop dead tomorrow (assuming you are a woman) and you may end up remarrying 40-something man who wants to have a baby. You just never know.

I'm done having babies. When I'm 45 I'm going to be attending my kids HS graduation. Not changing diapers. No way in hell would I matry an old man who wanted babies.

Young and foolish, no doubt.

Um, I have a career and two healthy children who are in middle school. I SAH and raised babies for a few years. I'm not interested in doing it again. SO yes, maybe I am foolish to not consider the hypothetical if my DH were to die, I'd somehow get the burning desire to have kids in my 40s when I already have near grown children. Sounds delightful to stare my 50s and menopause with fieldtrips to Pumpkinville with the preschool class. In my 50s, I'm planning on playing a lot of golf, and do a lot of traveling....and Disney is not what I have in mind. I will save all of these middle aged men with baby fever for the rest of you...you all can have at them. Tare it up ladies!

[Anonymous]

Play a game - take turns each crossing your most hated choice on the list. Agree on implementing the last one remaining - the least hated choice by the parties involved. You can agree to play again in a specific time frame just in case the solution did not work for the two of you - say, no sex was not all it is cracked up to be.

vasectomy
tubal ligation
condoms
no sex
tax deduction (I borrowed it from an earlier poster because it is great!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Wow. I went on a call and all hell broke loose.
My husband is not looking to start a family. I promise.
He is a carrier for a very debilitating neurological disorder and doesn't want to pass it on to a child. We have a good, full life and we don't want to add children to it.
I've done a lot of research and the effectiveness of diaphragms are not high enough.
On my way home, I'm buying a box of Magnums and telling DH tonight that I am going off my BC. The only way he's getting any is by using a condom.
I have a feeling that he'll get tired of the condom game pretty fast. I'm done being 100% responsible for preventing pregnancy.

Yay, go op! Good solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Play a game - take turns each crossing your most hated choice on the list. Agree on implementing the last one remaining - the least hated choice by the parties involved. You can agree to play again in a specific time frame just in case the solution did not work for the two of you - say, no sex was not all it is cracked up to be.

vasectomy
tubal ligation
condoms
no sex
tax deduction (I borrowed it from an earlier poster because it is great!)

OP here I love, love, love this!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it is what you want, you do the surgery.

Yup! Also clearly he is ok with having a kid. Will you stay or will you go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it is what you want, you do the surgery.

At this point, I will gladly do his surgery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it is what you want, you do the surgery.

At this point, I will gladly do his surgery.

[Anonymous]

Vasectomy has a one week recovery at most. Really 2-3 days. Its completely outpatient and takes less than an hour including numbing. Its less than a root canal and I've had both.