DH won't get a vasectomy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it is what you want, you do the surgery.

At this point, I will gladly do his surgery.

BWAHAHAHAHA! I think a lot of women feel the same way about their husbands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Wow. I went on a call and all hell broke loose.
My husband is not looking to start a family. I promise.
He is a carrier for a very debilitating neurological disorder and doesn't want to pass it on to a child. We have a good, full life and we don't want to add children to it.
I've done a lot of research and the effectiveness of diaphragms are not high enough.
On my way home, I'm buying a box of Magnums and telling DH tonight that I am going off my BC. The only way he's getting any is by using a condom.
I have a feeling that he'll get tired of the condom game pretty fast. I'm done being 100% responsible for preventing pregnancy.

We used condoms for 2 years until my DH finally went with the vasectomy. He went to work the day after the procedure and has said many times that it was absolutely no big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Wow. I went on a call and all hell broke loose.
My husband is not looking to start a family. I promise.
He is a carrier for a very debilitating neurological disorder and doesn't want to pass it on to a child. We have a good, full life and we don't want to add children to it.
I've done a lot of research and the effectiveness of diaphragms are not high enough.
On my way home, I'm buying a box of Magnums and telling DH tonight that I am going off my BC. The only way he's getting any is by using a condom.
I have a feeling that he'll get tired of the condom game pretty fast. I'm done being 100% responsible for preventing pregnancy.

We used condoms for 2 years until my DH finally went with the vasectomy. He went to work the day after the procedure and has said many times that it was absolutely no big deal.

OP here. I told him this. I'd rather not be put under general anaesthesia and cut open when he can have his scrotum numbed in the urologist's office and be home in an hour. He hates condoms and I can guarantee that he will get tired of using condoms pretty fast.
I give it a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Wow. I went on a call and all hell broke loose.
My husband is not looking to start a family. I promise.
He is a carrier for a very debilitating neurological disorder and doesn't want to pass it on to a child. We have a good, full life and we don't want to add children to it.
I've done a lot of research and the effectiveness of diaphragms are not high enough.
On my way home, I'm buying a box of Magnums and telling DH tonight that I am going off my BC. The only way he's getting any is by using a condom.
I have a feeling that he'll get tired of the condom game pretty fast. I'm done being 100% responsible for preventing pregnancy.

We used condoms for 2 years until my DH finally went with the vasectomy. He went to work the day after the procedure and has said many times that it was absolutely no big deal.

OP here. I told him this. I'd rather not be put under general anaesthesia and cut open when he can have his scrotum numbed in the urologist's office and be home in an hour. He hates condoms and I can guarantee that he will get tired of using condoms pretty fast.
I give it a week.

PP here and I would just be wary of pushing him because while it is very rare, complications can happen. We waited 2 years because I didn't push my DH on it, I just told him I was no longer using birth control and we would need to use condoms. He sort of came to the conclusion of a vasectomy on his own and when we discussed it I agreed it made the most sense. I would just feel horrible if I had pushed my DH to get it and then he did have complications.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Wow. I went on a call and all hell broke loose.
My husband is not looking to start a family. I promise.
He is a carrier for a very debilitating neurological disorder and doesn't want to pass it on to a child. We have a good, full life and we don't want to add children to it.
I've done a lot of research and the effectiveness of diaphragms are not high enough.
On my way home, I'm buying a box of Magnums and telling DH tonight that I am going off my BC. The only way he's getting any is by using a condom.
I have a feeling that he'll get tired of the condom game pretty fast. I'm done being 100% responsible for preventing pregnancy.

We used condoms for 2 years until my DH finally went with the vasectomy. He went to work the day after the procedure and has said many times that it was absolutely no big deal.

OP here. I told him this. I'd rather not be put under general anaesthesia and cut open when he can have his scrotum numbed in the urologist's office and be home in an hour. He hates condoms and I can guarantee that he will get tired of using condoms pretty fast.
I give it a week.

OP, maybe also try instead of or in addition to condoms the method of tracking your basal body temperature and cycles to know when you are fertile and when you are not. Some parts of the month are gray areas, but much of your cycle will clearly be non-fertile time. Read the book Taking Charge of your Fertility for more info. Those of us over on the TTC forum use it to get pregnant, but it's also a form of birth control. It's not the rhythm method. It's grounded in temperature shifts and tracking cervical mucus and it is reliable. Even if you only used it at the most maximally zero fertile chance times of the month, it would give you a respite from condoms. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

OP, my DH had it done on Friday morning, a little sore that night and was fine by saturday morning. Wore "protection" around our rambunctious toddler who was at crotch height but otherwise fine.

otoh, it is HIS choice to refuse, but that does't mean you are responsible for birth control.

I'm curious as to the success rate of condom vs diaphragm. I got pregnant on a diaphragm, but that is because it often gave me UTIs if I left it in too long (or maybe it was a spermicide sensitivity) and I guess one time I took it out too early. Either that, or I didn't put it in correctly. The pregnancy didn't stick but I switched to bcp after that, and then DH got the snip.

[Anonymous]

There are other options. You could try an IUD (Paraguard is non hormonal). You could (both) track your cycle and avoid fertile days, or use condoms only on fertile days.

I agree a vasectomy has pluses, but if he doesn't want to get one, there are alternatives to you taking the pill.

[Anonymous]

Five words: "chronic scrotal and testicular pain"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Five words: "chronic scrotal and testicular pain"

???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Vasectomy has a one week recovery at most. Really 2-3 days. Its completely outpatient and takes less than an hour including numbing. Its less than a root canal and I've had both.

The difference being, the root canal wasn't optional.

[Anonymous]

There is another solution for women - Essure. It's a non-surgical option for permanent, non-hormonal female sterilization. I had it done a few years ago with no side effects and never looked back. There are way fewer risks than surgery, and it's equally effective. In fact, they do a post-test to confirm that the procedure worked and you are sterile.

I like being in control of my own body and fertility, and because I'm done with childbearing, this was the best solution.

Talk to your doctor about it (I sound like a commercial). Seriously though, it's been great...kind of like a female vasectomy from a risk perspective.

[Anonymous]

My husband wasn't that into the idea, but the topic came up with a group of friends and 2 or 3 of the guys had had it done. They explained what it was like, talked about how it was no big deal and I think that really put my husband at ease. He's now on board with it, but hasnt done it yet. If you know of anyone who has had it done, or can find online stories about it, maybe he'll feel more comfortable with the idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Five words: "chronic scrotal and testicular pain"

???

Some guys have long term, sometimes permanent, pain in their testicles and scrotum after vasectomy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Five words: "chronic scrotal and testicular pain"

???

Some guys have long term, sometimes permanent, pain in their testicles and scrotum after vasectomy.

Some women have long term, sometimes permanent pain in their testicles after a tubal ligation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Five words: "chronic scrotal and testicular pain"

???

Some guys have long term, sometimes permanent, pain in their testicles and scrotum after vasectomy.

Some women have long term, sometimes permanent pain in their testicles after a tubal ligation.

That would be Fallopian tubes...not testicles. Oops.