DH won't get a vasectomy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Well ladies and gentlemen...we went through the 3 pack I bought and before I bought more, DH got amorous. I refused because we didn't have any condoms and he relented and said he was "sick of using these bullshit condoms."
He's calling his MD tomorrow to schedule an appointment!
We had a long discussion and he told me that he agreed that it wasn't fair that the burden be placed on my body.
I definitely believe that no person should be pressured into anything. There has to be some compromise though between two married people.

Great news! And you handled this exactly right IMO. Any wife who think she's going to nag her husband into getting a vasectomy is nuts. (and i'm a woman)

[Anonymous]

I had one after my wife and I talked about it. It's a pretty minor procedure--all out-patient. There is some swelling and discomfort afterwards but generally speaking it's simple. He needs to step up.

[Anonymous]

His body. His choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had one after my wife and I talked about it. It's a pretty minor procedure--all out-patient. There is some swelling and discomfort afterwards but generally speaking it's simple. He needs to step up.

Have not the whole thread. This sums it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Well ladies and gentlemen...we went through the 3 pack I bought and before I bought more, DH got amorous. I refused because we didn't have any condoms and he relented and said he was "sick of using these bullshit condoms."
He's calling his MD tomorrow to schedule an appointment!
We had a long discussion and he told me that he agreed that it wasn't fair that the burden be placed on my body.
I definitely believe that no person should be pressured into anything. There has to be some compromise though between two married people.

That's awesome! Sometimes all it takes for a guy to see the light is having to deal with the hassle of birth control. Suddenly, they get more reasonable!

[Anonymous]

Not saying this is the case with OP (especially after the degenerative disease update) but with young kids, this conversation comes up frequently amongst the parents...

We've noticed that most men have zero problems with it. They're happily married, have enough kids and don't want another one pushing the kid finish line back any further, and get it done without much fuss or pushback.

The men that won't get it done are either (1) not 100% on board with no more children or (2) not on board with their marriage making the long-haul.

"It hurts" or "I'm scared" has never stopped a man from getting one. As OP has shown, once you show him not getting one will affect their sex life, they immediately submit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His body. His choice.

It seems he made his choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Follow-up stories to this one:

1. "We quit having sex because my husband couldn't stand my constant, shrill nagging to get a vasectomy."

2. "My husband knocked up a younger coworker."

3. "My ex-husband now has a family, and all I have are cats."

If that's a description of the husband, I'd rather have the cats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Three choices: Condoms, Vasectomy, Rosie Palm and her five sisters

I think they really have only one choice - condoms - and keep the peace in the family.

She can get a tubal ligation. He can get a vasectomy. Since neither one of them is willing to do that and she needs to stop hormonal birth control (and can't use an IUD), then they are down to condoms or limiting sex to oral sex and hand jobs.

I would go with the condoms, personally.

So really what you are saying is someone needs to get surgery. Any reasonable couple with go with the option that is the least invasive, easiest recovery and lowest risk.

Hmmm, now which would that be?

No, that's not what I am saying. Neither one of them is willing to get surgery. Neither one of them should have to do get surgery if they aren't willing. No one should be pressured into surgery. She can't do hormonal birth control or IUDs.

That leaves non-vaginal sex and condoms. Many people get by just fine with those options. Non-vaginal sex and condoms are the least invasive, no recovery, and lowest risk for both partners.

No it isn't lowest risk for both partners. It's much higher risk for the woman. Condom failure rate is much higher than vasectomy or tubal ligation, and pregnancy/birth carries many risks for the mother. Duh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Has not anyone in this thread ever heard of the diaphgram???

OP, look into it. Surgery on either of you is not the only option other than condoms.

Actually, it's not really an option anymore. I used to use diaphragms. last time I got a prescription for one (you have to get a new one every year) no pharmacy could fill it. It was like they aren't making them anymore. Plus, obviously it's a much higher failure rate than anything else (besides "natural family planning").