College Pressures Starting Already?!!!
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baltimoreguy
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A book I would recommend to people already stressing about their elementary school child's college choice is "How to be a High School Superstar" by Cal Newport.
Rather than prep your kid by having him/her take the same courses and superficially participate in all the service activities as everyone else, it talks about how to truly set them apart - and in the process help them live a life that is actually interesting and rewarding. I'd say summer before 8th grade is a good time to read it and think about how to apply its ideas. I didn't read it until last year, but my oldest child had already kind of lucked into an approach similar to the one the book outlines. |
Anonymous
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There's a huge difference between foundation, preparation, and pressure.
The foundation starts when the kid first enters formal school -- when you start to shape their attitude about learning being something they should want to do for a variety of reasons and when you emphasize to them that it's important to put honest good-faith effort into all of their work. These basic academic habits will serve them well from K through post-secondary education if they choose to go that route and hopefully will bleed over into other areas of their life beyond school. Start the explicit preparation sometime in middle school -- if you think your child will probably want to go to college figure out the admission requirements most schools have in common as far as classes required in high school and make sure your kid stays on track to meet those requirements. This isn't about steering them to a specific school, it's about making sure to keep their options open. If you do this, it is unlikely that in 10th or 11th grade the student will realize they need a certain class but don't have the prerequisites. As for the pressure, if possible don't start that ever, but definitely not before 10th or 11th grade when it's time to start thinking seriously about testing and applications. |
Anonymous
| I guess I don't understand all the pressure for my DS to make the most top tier school. I would be beyond thrilled if my son graduated from UMD. It's a great public school at a great price. If his grades were good there, he could go to pretty much any grad school that he wished. |
Anonymous
Its true he turned down multiple offers from great schools but Stanford offered the best blend of academics and athletics. He works extremely hard on and off the field. His high school coach drilled into him 'some may be faster, some may be bigger but no one will work harder." I credit football with giving him tremendous focus and teaching him how rewarding commitment and a strong work ethic can be |
Anonymous
| If my kids want to work to get into a certain college - I'll do everything I can to help them. If they don't - I'll leave them be. I'm not crazy about forcing every child to go to college X and get degree X and whatnot...as long as my kids are happy then so am I, regardless of college or not, what college, what degree etc. |
Anonymous
Yes, they were Asian. There was absolutely no talking sense into the mom. The father was far too meek to stand up to her, he stated repeatedly that he and the kids were afraid of her. It became a CPS case, I don't know what happened long term but I think of her often. |
Anonymous
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And an interesting word for all of you highly educated parents out there - for all that you are pushing to get into top colleges and then paying, have you any idea who is actually teaching your college aged undergraduate. Let's see who could it possibly be??? - A graduate student in a Teaching Assistant slot - English speaking if are lucky and at least with a knowledge of the subject matter. - A newly minted foreign young professor with limited English capacity and a lot of pressure to get research going and a lab set up in at least many of the STEM fields - A random adjunct brought in to fill a slot at around $6,000 a course or so and quite possibly earning less than the TA - Finally, better yet a "hanger on" around the department or school who is not on tenure track and will do anything that is teach anything to stay around..... And why - because in most top colleges which are also research university, guess what is at the very, very bottom of the tenure track evaluation? And if your kids seem to mention that their classes do not seem to be going down as they move on to junior status, then you can bet your good old hard earned dollars, it is because the university is funding and educating the foreign graduate students on the backs of your hard charging sons and daughters. Things will not improve until parents start to look a it deeper into what their children are getting for their money. [b]This is one aspect of the immigration issue on the higher education end that is never dealt with. Why do American companies seek foreign graduate students to remain here for open slots, rather then pressuring American colleges to better prepare American undergraduates for grad school and the jobs. |
Anonymous
How many concussions has he had? |
Anonymous
He hasn't had a concussion.He's used Brain Sentry for a while and he plays with a custom helmet that cost a small fortune. He also understands and has been taught good body mechanics to lessen the chance of concussive injury. Actually per the CDC, the incidence of concussions in football is 0.47 per 1000 athletic exposures so having a collegiate football player that's never had a concussion is not really unusual. He trains hard to stay healthy, I do worry about his head and knees. That being said, I worry about him driving too. |
Anonymous
YAY! a voice of sanity! |
Anonymous
You missed a word, reported The % of reported concussions is low. How many concussions go unreported? The incentive is to under report. |
Anonymous
| ^^^ Oh for goodness sakes. Her kid hasn't had concussions, a blessing for him, but you've got to keep hammering away at it. The kid was a standout athlete and is doing well at Stanford, how does that possibly affect you? |
Anonymous
+1 Seriously, just shut up already. You come across as jealous and slightly unhinged. Why should you care if someone else's kid is at Stanford to play football, to to med school or just party their ass off. Not your kid, not your money and not your problem. Athletics are a huge hook at most every college...get over it. |
Anonymous
This! You want to instill a work ethic into your child, but that means you want your child to work hard at whatever they choose, not necessarily at achieving your dream of having a kid who went to Yale. You want to instill a love of learning, but that's so your child can take pleasure from ideas and books throughout his or her life, not necessarily to get straight As for Yale. You want your child to understand the requirements for acceptance at a wide range of colleges. But that's so your child doesn't inadvertently close off future options by innocently believing that Cs are average so they will be good enough for the college of her choice. You want to make sure your child is on the highest learning track appropriate to his or her interests and capabilities. This is because challenge is good, not coasting. And again because you don't want to inadvertently close off opportunities that your child may decide to pursue in 11th or 12th grade. All of this is quite different from pressure in the form of, "your parents went to Yale so you must go to Yale too." |
Anonymous
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I guess I am not hearing anyone say very clearly that they understand who their child is, or what they want. Many 18 year olds are not ready to make any choices. We sent our youngest to community college for two years, and let him work while he was there. He came out with 3.8 and then transferred to UVA, which is a Great state school. No pressure, and now he knows what he wants to accomplish and where his passion lies.
I don't hear anyone taking what their particular child needs or wants into account on this board. |