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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There's a huge difference between foundation, preparation, and pressure.

The foundation starts when the kid first enters formal school -- when you start to shape their attitude about learning being something they should want to do for a variety of reasons and when you emphasize to them that it's important to put honest good-faith effort into all of their work. These basic academic habits will serve them well from K through post-secondary education if they choose to go that route and hopefully will bleed over into other areas of their life beyond school.

Start the explicit preparation sometime in middle school -- if you think your child will probably want to go to college figure out the admission requirements most schools have in common as far as classes required in high school and make sure your kid stays on track to meet those requirements. This isn't about steering them to a specific school, it's about making sure to keep their options open. If you do this, it is unlikely that in 10th or 11th grade the student will realize they need a certain class but don't have the prerequisites.

As for the pressure, if possible don't start that ever, but definitely not before 10th or 11th grade when it's time to start thinking seriously about testing and applications.[/quote]

This! You want to instill a work ethic into your child, but that means you want your child to work hard at whatever they choose, not necessarily at achieving your dream of having a kid who went to Yale.

You want to instill a love of learning, but that's so your child can take pleasure from ideas and books throughout his or her life, not necessarily to get straight As for Yale.

You want your child to understand the requirements for acceptance at a wide range of colleges. But that's so your child doesn't inadvertently close off future options by innocently believing that Cs are average so they will be good enough for the college of her choice.

You want to make sure your child is on the highest learning track appropriate to his or her interests and capabilities. This is because challenge is good, not coasting. And again because you don't want to inadvertently close off opportunities that your child may decide to pursue in 11th or 12th grade.

All of this is quite different from pressure in the form of, "your parents went to Yale so you must go to Yale too."[/quote]

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