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SAHMs - what made you decide to SAH? Question from new SAHM
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Anonymous
Really think that there are many ways to go about raising a child wonderfully - by SAHM or WOHM - but my mom was a SAHM until I was in the eighth grade, and then took a blue collar job. Three kids - two lawyers, one doctor, we all went to top ten schools colleges/graduate schools. I don't think that for me to be a SAHM would be the best choice for my family, but it was the best choice for my parents. |
Anonymous
Good for you (and I'm being serious). I work because I enjoy my career more than I would being home all day with my children 7 days/week with a working husband. I'm almost certain I would resent my husband and children if I SAH and he worked. I'm type A and need to be busy all of the time or I get lazy and become a procrastinator, so I like having a firm schedule during the week and pursuing my career which I love. I find it a fun challenge to balance work and home life and think my husband and I do a great job making it work for us. We are able to both take lower stress-level jobs with decent hours and decent pay in order to afford us more time with the kids and as a family. If anyone were to stay home in our family if would be my husband. I'm more satisfied with my career and day-to-day work, I make more money, and we are living in this area only because of my job (he could work basically anywhere). Right now, he likes the idea of the extra money his incomes adds to our quality of life and security so he has decided to keep working for now. You would be a SAH mom I could probably get along with great. I find such hostility in many mom's in my neighborhood once they find out I WOH. Here's to enjoying your life!! |
Anonymous
Nor do I. It is annoying and distracts from whatever discussion is occurring. |
Anonymous
| I'm SAH because I was a social worker and basically couldn't afford to continue working. My salary would have covered the cost of child care. And I figured it is a field I can return to when I'm ready (and I can do volunteer work in the meantime). |
Anonymous
Finally, an acceptable reason! |
Anonymous
If you get any hostility, it's probably not because you work outside of the home. It's probably because you make statements like the one above. It's probably not intentional though and really you are talking about yourself, but I could see someone turning their nose up at you. |
Anonymous
| i didn't want to juggle everything, "do it all." why stress about work, daycare, chores, etc. i knew these things would all fall on me. |
momof2
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I adopted my son late in life and missed out on the first two years of his life. We could afford one person to stay home and since we could, I've enjoyed Most Every moment at home, it was worth it to me and my husband to SH. That being said, I did the career thing, did the pioneering activities and stay out late fun series, made some money, saved some money enough to afford this. When working, I was at the level that if I continued working the stress would impact me too much to be both effective at work and being a loving parent; something/someone would suffer.
I give SAHM, WOHM, and WAHM = ALL moms so much credit. I thank this site for the great advise, the place to vent, for "good to know" info and sometimes hilarious yet poignant commentary debates. I learn some, I laugh some. I'm not from DC but boy are all of you fiesty! |
Anonymous
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22:54, why do it all?
1) So you have something else in your life you enjoy as your kids grow up. 2) Financial security - working gives you "hand" in your marriage. 3) the satisfaction of doing the work/raising a family thing at the same time. |
Anonymous
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"I'm SAH because I was a social worker and basically couldn't afford to continue working. My salary would have covered the cost of child care. And I figured it is a field I can return to when I'm ready (and I can do volunteer work in the meantime)."
What volunteer work do you do? |
Anonymous
She didn't pose it as a question. |
Anonymous
| I didn't like the child care options available to me when I had my first child. Almost all of my salary would have gone to child care which would not have been what I could provide. Pretty sure I would not make the same choice now. I think it is very important to stay working even if you only break even in the first few years. Eventually, you will be financially ahead and having a profession and financial resources are critical in the next phase of life. But as my 18 year old said " Someone has to raise the kids". She is already worried about how she will juggle being a Mom and working. She loved having me home and has said so many times. |
Anonymous
| Even better, delay childbearing until you have the education and experience to way more than cover childcare costs. Probably all kids would like a SAHP, but so far as I'm concerned, the childrens' preference is not one of the top factors in the SAH or WOH decision. |
Anonymous
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Oh goody, this thread is revived!
Let's all hop aboard the bitch train ladies! |
Anonymous
| I stay home because the stress of two people with big jobs was too much for our family. My son is now at an age I can talk to him about it and he says he feels lucky to have a mommy at home, he remembers my working days, and now that we have another choked too, it makes the mostvsense for us. I have to say my son's feelings about this help me greatly on those hard days or when you are at a dinner party with a lot of people doing interesting work outside the home. But my day will come again. Life is a series of seasons. |