Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't change my name (20.years ago) but I am ok being called "Mrs. Married Name."

I hate the phrase "the Smiths" or whatever because it sounds like it's from a 1950s stepford wife Christmas card.

Op, this is what I mean. It strikes me as so stepford. Like I recently asked for my friends address to send (just her) something and she replied, ‘send it to THE ROTHSCHILDS, 236 Park Avenue, NY NY (made up obviously)’ and it struck me as so icky.

Where is my friend in that?

I'm in my 50s and assume they are just spouting things like their parents used to say, by calling people "The Rothschilds." It's really dated.

So you'd never ask your husband if the Smiths were coming to your BBQ? Instead you'd say are John, Ellen, Same and Elliot coming to the BBQ? Really?

Such a strange post. ‘Ask your ‘husband? Snort.

I’d ask the wife- ‘hey, are you and Bob coming? Kids too?’ Simple.

Anonymous wrote:I didn't change my name, nor did my husband.

The kids have his name, and I can't imagine what complications people are imagining, but I would have been thrilled if daycare and schools had called him when a kid needed to be picked up.

Nope. They called me, the one with the different last name.

PS I find the term "maiden name" patriarchal

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't change my name, nor did my husband.

The kids have his name, and I can't imagine what complications people are imagining, but I would have been thrilled if daycare and schools had called him when a kid needed to be picked up.

Nope. They called me, the one with the different last name.

PS I find the term "maiden name" patriarchal

If you dislike the patriarchy, why didn't your kids get your last name instead?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't change my name (20.years ago) but I am ok being called "Mrs. Married Name."

I hate the phrase "the Smiths" or whatever because it sounds like it's from a 1950s stepford wife Christmas card.

Op, this is what I mean. It strikes me as so stepford. Like I recently asked for my friends address to send (just her) something and she replied, ‘send it to THE ROTHSCHILDS, 236 Park Avenue, NY NY (made up obviously)’ and it struck me as so icky.

Where is my friend in that?

I'm in my 50s and assume they are just spouting things like their parents used to say, by calling people "The Rothschilds." It's really dated.

So you'd never ask your husband if the Smiths were coming to your BBQ? Instead you'd say are John, Ellen, Same and Elliot coming to the BBQ? Really?

Such a strange post. ‘Ask your ‘husband? Snort.

I’d ask the wife- ‘hey, are you and Bob coming? Kids too?’ Simple.

Most families I know with different last names just create a mashup -- If you're wondering if Joe Forrest and Elizabeth Bumstead are coming and bringing the kids, you ask if the Forsteads are coming.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't change my name (20.years ago) but I am ok being called "Mrs. Married Name."

I hate the phrase "the Smiths" or whatever because it sounds like it's from a 1950s stepford wife Christmas card.

Op, this is what I mean. It strikes me as so stepford. Like I recently asked for my friends address to send (just her) something and she replied, ‘send it to THE ROTHSCHILDS, 236 Park Avenue, NY NY (made up obviously)’ and it struck me as so icky.

Where is my friend in that?

I'm in my 50s and assume they are just spouting things like their parents used to say, by calling people "The Rothschilds." It's really dated.

So you'd never ask your husband if the Smiths were coming to your BBQ? Instead you'd say are John, Ellen, Same and Elliot coming to the BBQ? Really?

Such a strange post. ‘Ask your ‘husband? Snort.

I’d ask the wife- ‘hey, are you and Bob coming? Kids too?’ Simple.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 42, married at 29, took his name. I'm glad I did. I like the tradition and the idea of joining his family in that way, and I'm glad we all have the same last name. I'm progressive, feminist, etc.

Why couldn’t he raid your last name then?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: It’s definitely a personal choice, but changing to a shared last name can simplify things a lot in daily life—whether it’s paperwork, travel, or even how others see you as a family.

To give some perspective, about 70% of college-educated women and 80% of non-college-educated women in the U.S. take their spouse's last name. Even high-profile professional women like Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama made the change, and they’re known for being pretty liberal.

Having a shared last name also shows commitment and can help avoid misunderstandings, like assumptions about being recently divorced, a new mom, or even just difficult. And if you’re considering hyphenation, just a heads-up: it can get really confusing! It’s tough enough for daily things, but think about when your kids marry—how many hyphens are they going to have to carry? It can quickly get out of hand and becomes more complex with each generation.

In the end, it’s all about what works best for you both, but there’s a lot to be said for the simplicity and unity that come with sharing a family name

Dude, Hillary is old. So is Michelle really. These are not contemporary examples.

I kept my name. Kids have their dads. I do regret that tbh but that’s another issue. No one bats an eye. It’s not less simple. In a way, far more because there’s no gap in my career achievements- eg publications before marriage. Its 2024. Teachers etc understand different last names. I’ll let you in on a secret - many of them aren’t changing their names either.

Keeping separate last names might be more accepted now, but it still creates avoidable complications. The majority of women—over 70% of college-educated and 80% of non-college-educated—still choose to take their spouse’s name, and it’s not just about tradition. A shared name simplifies everything from legal documents to social interactions, clearly showing family unity.

Yes, teachers may recognize different last names, but a single family name prevents misunderstandings and assumptions about family dynamics. And hyphenating? That’s a short-term fix. Future generations face the hassle of multiple hyphens, which just isn’t sustainable.

Career identity can be preserved through other means, so let’s not pretend that keeping separate names is the only progressive choice—it often adds more complexity than it’s worth

Anonymous wrote:Larla Maiden New-Name

Changed maiden name to middle name (dropped original middle name - hated it, but a sibling kept hers and now has 4 names) and took new last name

Anonymous wrote:I didn't change mine. I don't care if people use my husbands last name when addressing cards or whatever, I just didn't want to do all the paperwork.