Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You mentioned the apology letters in the past, but do you do anything else? How is he on weekends with other kids? Does he rough house with them ( it's hard to imagine this is a school only trend)? Watch him closely on the playground and step in and correct him when he is being too rough or no letting other kids have turns.

You said you are a teacher so I'm sure you can sympathize with the teachers in this situation. They probably have concerns that other kids will get hurt or don't get to contribute in class.

OP here. I completely sympathize with the teacher! We go to the playground often and his behavior is totally within the realm of normal 4 year old. PPs suggesting my kid doesn’t know how to “treat living beings” are hilarious!!! I was you!! Now I have three boys.

I have three boys and they are not allowed to tackle the dog.

+1. I have threw girls and they would never tackle our toughly touch our dogs. The roughhouse with one another but have appropriate boundaries - so not at school. My eldest is also four and I have twin two year olds. Do not tell me this is a gender thing. This is about appropriate boundaries. OP you sound very invested in your liberal mom with a “real boy” shtick. You voting for Obama does not mean that you get to pull the boys will be boys card. And FYI roughhousing with the dog is a good way for your kid to get bitten. It won’t be as funny when he has a bunch of stitches on his face.

DP. This is utterly absurd. All kids have energy and most boys at 4 are indeed like puppies and like to roughhouse. As long as nobody gets hurt and they all enjoy it, it’s great.

The problem is the school. Teaching kids to observe boundaries is actually the school’s job. If the school cannot handle behavior that is within the range of developmentally normal, it’s a bad school. OP should not waste another second there.

Nope. Sorry. Your job, Mama Bear (and Paoa Bear too, if applicable).

It’s not though. School is not home. The school needs to know how to set boundaries at school. Home can reinforce school behaviors but this school is not engaging at all in a way that would effectuate that connection. You can’t punish a 4 year old for something he did 6 hrs before in a different place - especially when some of that n
behavior doesn’t even seem like it needs a punishment.

This is an inept school bad for your kid OP. Get him out.

It is, though. Kids learn how to behave, including in public, by the direction and boundaries taught by their PARENTS. Ever wonder why this supposedly “inept” teacher isn’t having this problem with all of the other kids in the classmates including the others with with — gasp — XY chromosomes?

Because OP is too busy waving away her kid’s negative (yes, negative) behavior with a litany of excuses.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You mentioned the apology letters in the past, but do you do anything else? How is he on weekends with other kids? Does he rough house with them ( it's hard to imagine this is a school only trend)? Watch him closely on the playground and step in and correct him when he is being too rough or no letting other kids have turns.

You said you are a teacher so I'm sure you can sympathize with the teachers in this situation. They probably have concerns that other kids will get hurt or don't get to contribute in class.

OP here. I completely sympathize with the teacher! We go to the playground often and his behavior is totally within the realm of normal 4 year old. PPs suggesting my kid doesn’t know how to “treat living beings” are hilarious!!! I was you!! Now I have three boys.

I have three boys and they are not allowed to tackle the dog.

+1. I have threw girls and they would never tackle our toughly touch our dogs. The roughhouse with one another but have appropriate boundaries - so not at school. My eldest is also four and I have twin two year olds. Do not tell me this is a gender thing. This is about appropriate boundaries. OP you sound very invested in your liberal mom with a “real boy” shtick. You voting for Obama does not mean that you get to pull the boys will be boys card. And FYI roughhousing with the dog is a good way for your kid to get bitten. It won’t be as funny when he has a bunch of stitches on his face.

DP. This is utterly absurd. All kids have energy and most boys at 4 are indeed like puppies and like to roughhouse. As long as nobody gets hurt and they all enjoy it, it’s great.

The problem is the school. Teaching kids to observe boundaries is actually the school’s job. If the school cannot handle behavior that is within the range of developmentally normal, it’s a bad school. OP should not waste another second there.

Nope. Sorry. Your job, Mama Bear (and Paoa Bear too, if applicable).

It’s not though. School is not home. The school needs to know how to set boundaries at school. Home can reinforce school behaviors but this school is not engaging at all in a way that would effectuate that connection. You can’t punish a 4 year old for something he did 6 hrs before in a different place - especially when some of that n
behavior doesn’t even seem like it needs a punishment.

This is an inept school bad for your kid OP. Get him out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You mentioned the apology letters in the past, but do you do anything else? How is he on weekends with other kids? Does he rough house with them ( it's hard to imagine this is a school only trend)? Watch him closely on the playground and step in and correct him when he is being too rough or no letting other kids have turns.

You said you are a teacher so I'm sure you can sympathize with the teachers in this situation. They probably have concerns that other kids will get hurt or don't get to contribute in class.

OP here. I completely sympathize with the teacher! We go to the playground often and his behavior is totally within the realm of normal 4 year old. PPs suggesting my kid doesn’t know how to “treat living beings” are hilarious!!! I was you!! Now I have three boys.

I have three boys and they are not allowed to tackle the dog.

+1. I have threw girls and they would never tackle our toughly touch our dogs. The roughhouse with one another but have appropriate boundaries - so not at school. My eldest is also four and I have twin two year olds. Do not tell me this is a gender thing. This is about appropriate boundaries. OP you sound very invested in your liberal mom with a “real boy” shtick. You voting for Obama does not mean that you get to pull the boys will be boys card. And FYI roughhousing with the dog is a good way for your kid to get bitten. It won’t be as funny when he has a bunch of stitches on his face.

DP. This is utterly absurd. All kids have energy and most boys at 4 are indeed like puppies and like to roughhouse. As long as nobody gets hurt and they all enjoy it, it’s great.

The problem is the school. Teaching kids to observe boundaries is actually the school’s job. If the school cannot handle behavior that is within the range of developmentally normal, it’s a bad school. OP should not waste another second there.

Nope. Sorry. Your job, Mama Bear (and Paoa Bear too, if applicable).

It’s not though. School is not home. The school needs to know how to set boundaries at school. Home can reinforce school behaviors but this school is not engaging at all in a way that would effectuate that connection. You can’t punish a 4 year old for something he did 6 hrs before in a different place - especially when some of that n
behavior doesn’t even seem like it needs a punishment.

This is an inept school bad for your kid OP. Get him out.

It is, though. Kids learn how to behave, including in public, by the direction and boundaries taught by their PARENTS. Ever wonder why this supposedly “inept” teacher isn’t having this problem with all of the other kids in the classmates including the others with with — gasp — XY chromosomes?

Because OP is too busy waving away her kid’s negative (yes, negative) behavior with a litany of excuses.

Just wait til YOU have the loud kid … trust me, your kid isn’t good in preschool because you have magic parenting skills. kids have different temperaments and some that are fine at home are not at school. and at the end of the day even if it was theoretically all OP’s fault, there STILL is not anything that OP alone could do. There actually are quite good ways to teach kiddos proper behavior in school, including through consistent home-school communication. but notably all the school is doing is focusing on complaining. this is a bad school with no plan about how to address behavior that is still within normal ranges. this isn’t a kid who is hitting, running away, hiding under a table …

Anonymous wrote:Teach him to keep his hands to himself. He can't rough house (aka push, run into, wrestle, tackle) others if he isn't touching them. Stop this sort of play at home with dad and leave the dog alone.

Anonymous wrote:DS is 4 and has been at his daycare since he was 18 months. He definitely fits the stereotype of a little boy in about a hundred ways: loves to wrestle with dad, can spend the whole day playing outside, tackles the dog, wants to run/jump/swim/bike all the time. (This does not come from me! I am a liberal introvert who thought gender stereotypes were goofy! I tried to give him dolls and sewing…) He LOVES teachers and other adults and is generally good natured to other kids and adults. He is very outgoing and friendly. He loves reading and can play independently (especially outside, but also does 1.5 hours of rest time alone in his room on the weekends).

Last year and this year his teachers have brought up that he is too rambunctious, “too loud in the morning,” “wants to be the teacher all the time,” and “too competitive.” I don’t disagree with their assessment, but this has started to spiral out of control. When we ask about his day at pickup, his teachers almost always have a negative thing in their report, such as he was roughhousing, didn’t listen, etc. This week he cried on the way home because he said he can never get good reports. My question is what exactly to do with this information. I really like his teachers generally; most have been at the school for a long time. But their suggestions seem kinda weird. His teacher last year said she made him run laps outside and suggested we buy him a weighted backpack so he will get tired faster. His teacher this year said he should sign up for karate. Is this the solution?

In the past, we have had him write an apology letter to teachers, revoked privileges after very bad reports (especially roughhousing), etc. I want to support the teacher and have him fit better but I don’t know what that looks like. Any suggestions?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. My DH does drop off and pick up. I think the details of my commute and work hours are pretty boring but I leave the house at 7 and return at 4:30.

My sons are 8, 6, and 4. All of them participate in athletics, are over 100th percentile in height, etc. They are hilarious and fun! All are outgoing, opinionated, and loud. Big personalities all around, including DH. But of course we always emphasize listening to adults, being calm inside, and only playing rough when all parties agree.

I will look into karate for DS4. I hesitate to overschedule at his age, though. We don’t get this feedback from coaches, Sunday school teachers, or other adults, so I think it’s just being at school with no outlet in the mornings until playground time mid-morning.

That's a long day for a teacher.

It sounds like you need to double down on the listen to adults, being calm, and playing rough only when all agree because he's not getting the message and hasn't been for a while.

Another benefit of karate is the focus on self discipline which should help him as well.

Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:DS is 4 and has been at his daycare since he was 18 months. He definitely fits the stereotype of a little boy in about a hundred ways: loves to wrestle with dad, can spend the whole day playing outside, tackles the dog, wants to run/jump/swim/bike all the time. (This does not come from me! I am a liberal introvert who thought gender stereotypes were goofy! I tried to give him dolls and sewing…) He LOVES teachers and other adults and is generally good natured to other kids and adults. He is very outgoing and friendly. He loves reading and can play independently (especially outside, but also does 1.5 hours of rest time alone in his room on the weekends).

Last year and this year his teachers have brought up that he is too rambunctious, “too loud in the morning,” “wants to be the teacher all the time,” and “too competitive.” I don’t disagree with their assessment, but this has started to spiral out of control. When we ask about his day at pickup, his teachers almost always have a negative thing in their report, such as he was roughhousing, didn’t listen, etc. This week he cried on the way home because he said he can never get good reports. My question is what exactly to do with this information. I really like his teachers generally; most have been at the school for a long time. But their suggestions seem kinda weird. His teacher last year said she made him run laps outside and suggested we buy him a weighted backpack so he will get tired faster. His teacher this year said he should sign up for karate. Is this the solution?

In the past, we have had him write an apology letter to teachers, revoked privileges after very bad reports (especially roughhousing), etc. I want to support the teacher and have him fit better but I don’t know what that looks like. Any suggestions?

Anonymous wrote:Maybe this day care is not a good fit?