Reply to Four year old won't eat meals- so exhausted with the struggle

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[quote=Anonymous]How long has this been going on, OP? I know you said "always needed coaxing" (which is a problem, have you read Ellyn Satter?) but has she "always" eaten so very little at dinner?

Has it gotten worse lately, or does it wax and wane?

We never fought about food or even talked about it, so there were no power struggles, which could also be contributing in your case. And she wasn't filling up on anything else.

But even so, there were times, months at a time, even (though usually more like weeks), where my kid just seemed to survive on air. Then she'd go through a growth spurt and eat everything in sight. Or she'd eat a huge [meal] and barely eat for [other meals].

It all evens out for the vast majority of kids. On a year-to-year basis, she stayed on her curve-- about 15-25% for weight and 25-40% for height. I never considered changing her diet, adding pediasure, catering to her tastes.... just like with your kid, it wasn't a matter of her not liking the food per se. She wasn't complaining about it, she just sometimes ate very little of it.

I do think some parents err here and do anything to get food into their kids, creating pickier eaters than otherwise might be.

The only other thing I can think of that I think we did "right," or eliminated some possible issues, is that we all ate basically the same thing. If you're not doing this, I think this helps generally, almost from an evolutionary perspective. But that's just conjecture.

I have ADHD myself, and sure, it could be related. But I'd work on eliminating the power struggles and dropping the rope entirely. You've gotten some suggestions here. I think most of what you're doing is fine, though I never required X bites. But what does seem problematic is the cajoling, arguing, threatening and talking about it constantly. You are right to be exhausted by it, and it may be causing or exacerbating the problem. [/quote]

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