Reply to Four year old won't eat meals- so exhausted with the struggle

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She sounds like my ADHD child when they were 4.

OP where are you getting your expectations as to how much your DD should eat at each meal?  Your own ideas?  Is your pediatrician pressuring you to get your DD to eat more?

If you want to break the cycle, decide whether you need to be imposing your ideas about how much your DD should be eating.  A pediatric gastroenterologist can check your DD and give advice.  Hint: they won't be in favor of threats, cajoling or bribery.  [/quote]

OP here- [b]it's not that I have some set idea of how much she needs to eat- it's more that I think she needs to eat SOMETHING. 3 bites of any food for dinner seems kind of like a minimum for staving off hunger until the next day.[/b]

For the record, I am also not in favor of threats, cajoling or bribery. But here we are.[/quote]

NP. OP, you are projecting your needs on to her. My (overweight) DH did this to my (normal weight) son, and it was so unpleasant. Begging him to take a bite, obsessing over what was left in his lunch box, when the kid clearly got enough calories from eating the way he ate. DH just couldn't get past on how uncomfortable he would feel eating that small amount. Plus, honestly 3 bites is not going to make much difference in whether or not someone is hungry before the next day.

As someone else said, stop coaxing her to eat when she is not hungry. Let her listen to her body. Maybe the time you are offering meals are not right for her body, and the attention she gets from you about not eating is more rewarding than eating. Just relax. Offer food and just enjoy being together. If a sweet treat is going to be offered, offer it regardless of what else she eats, because otherwise you are teaching her that the other food is bad and the good food is the sweet she gets as a reward for eating the other food.

If she is hungry later, offer a snack. Do this for a couple weeks and see what time she is actually interested in eating. Think about if adjusting your meal schedule is doable. If not, I personally would continue to offer snack on request. I think learning to understand body cues for hunger and fullness are incredibly valuable. [/quote]

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