Message
Q: Sorry if this was asked and I missed it, but how old were you when you "knew" and how old when you came out?
A: I knew as a young teen and was terrified. I prayed every night for it to not be true. I was certain that I would lose my family over this. I came out to my family my freshman year of college. They were wonderful. I wish I had known they would be wonderful- would have literally changed my life.
A: I knew as a young teen and was terrified. I prayed every night for it to not be true. I was certain that I would lose my family over this. I came out to my family my freshman year of college. They were wonderful. I wish I had known they would be wonderful- would have literally changed my life.
Q: What was your family upbringing, divorces, normal, poor, rich etc
A: Pretty standard. We were blue collar- my dad farmed and then worked a factory type job. My mom was a SAHM until I was in middle school. My parents divorced when I was 18. We did not have a lot of money.
A: Pretty standard. We were blue collar- my dad farmed and then worked a factory type job. My mom was a SAHM until I was in middle school. My parents divorced when I was 18. We did not have a lot of money.
Downtown Abbey
Q:Why do you think that straight men often have more of a problem with homosexuality than straight women?
A: In a word- sexism. The idea that gay men are effeminate and that gay women need a good lay. That percieved femininity in men is bad and perceived masculinity in women is an affront. I could go on. There are plenty of viruntly anti gay women though.
A: In a word- sexism. The idea that gay men are effeminate and that gay women need a good lay. That percieved femininity in men is bad and perceived masculinity in women is an affront. I could go on. There are plenty of viruntly anti gay women though.
Oh, and no Subaru. Can't afford it. Sigh.
Q:I am a Christian. I believe that practicing homosexuality is a sin. I also believe that adultery and fornication is a sin. It doesn't mean that I hate gays, adulterers and/or fornicators. I can be friends with someone while I disagree with how their choose to live their life. I'm not passing judgment, I just don't support certain acts. Why is this considered homophobia? I don't dislike gays and I certainly don't want to harm them. While I don't agree with gay marriage, I understand that it is necessary in order to grant gays equal rights. While I have my religious views on things, I would never want this to be used as an instrument to oppress.
I will say that I find it frustrating that some gay people are quick to throw out the homophobic and/or bigot label. In many cases, it's not true and only serves to create animosity. My own mother is an active fornicator and my stepfather an adulterer! I don't agree with the way they live their lives...Does this mean I harbor hatred for them? Of course not.
A: I do understand what you are saying. So long as you don't legislate against me I suppose I would get over it like I do with other members of my family. In my experience people who share your belief system not only do not believe in equal rights for me but actively fight against it with a tenacity they do not give to the problem of adulterers or fornicators.
I find it personally hurtful that you'd have me live a loveless life - not acting on my innate sexuality, but I agree you have the right to those views.
I will say that I find it frustrating that some gay people are quick to throw out the homophobic and/or bigot label. In many cases, it's not true and only serves to create animosity. My own mother is an active fornicator and my stepfather an adulterer! I don't agree with the way they live their lives...Does this mean I harbor hatred for them? Of course not.
A: I do understand what you are saying. So long as you don't legislate against me I suppose I would get over it like I do with other members of my family. In my experience people who share your belief system not only do not believe in equal rights for me but actively fight against it with a tenacity they do not give to the problem of adulterers or fornicators.
I find it personally hurtful that you'd have me live a loveless life - not acting on my innate sexuality, but I agree you have the right to those views.
Q: If you are on your kids birth certificates how do you not have any legal right to them?
A: I am not a lawyer. As I understand it, a birth certificate is a state document and other states do not have to recognize it but adoption carries across state lines. I do wish I understood it better as it seems like the full faith and credit clause should cover it, but I think that about marriage too.
A: I am not a lawyer. As I understand it, a birth certificate is a state document and other states do not have to recognize it but adoption carries across state lines. I do wish I understood it better as it seems like the full faith and credit clause should cover it, but I think that about marriage too.
Q: What I mean by my second question is: Do you think everyone should think homosexuality is ok? Are you okay with people having an opinion that differs (finds homosexuality wrong, sinful, etc)? Do you believe that not agreeing with homosexuality equals homophobia?
re: civil unions (not civil marriage) As it stands civil unions are not equal. My question is, IF laws are changed and civil unions are given the same recognition as marriage, would you be okay with that?
A: I suppose I would appreciate not being thought of as being wrong or being a sinner for something that is as natural to me as the color of my eyes. I do believe that not agreeing with homosexuality is homophobia. There is nothing to agree or disagree about. I simply am. I do understand that some people's belief systems do not agree with that fact, and I struggle because there are so many other things in this secular world to focus on- the hungry, poor, criminals, etc. I just would ask why how I live my life is so important to you?
And no. That is segregation. The law does not allow for that. I thought we had learned that lesson.
re: civil unions (not civil marriage) As it stands civil unions are not equal. My question is, IF laws are changed and civil unions are given the same recognition as marriage, would you be okay with that?
A: I suppose I would appreciate not being thought of as being wrong or being a sinner for something that is as natural to me as the color of my eyes. I do believe that not agreeing with homosexuality is homophobia. There is nothing to agree or disagree about. I simply am. I do understand that some people's belief systems do not agree with that fact, and I struggle because there are so many other things in this secular world to focus on- the hungry, poor, criminals, etc. I just would ask why how I live my life is so important to you?
And no. That is segregation. The law does not allow for that. I thought we had learned that lesson.
Q: Are you tolerant about someone's religious views?
Do you feel like everyone should accept how you live your life?
Would you be okay with all gays being granted civil unions if they are allowed the same rights as marriage?
If granted the right to marry, do you think churches should be forced to perform these ceremonies?
How did you feel about the lesbian who was denied communion at her mother's funeral?
A: I am extremely tolerant of varied religious views until those views impinge on my rights as an American citizen.
I find your next question to be so odd. I don't spend my days looking at people around me and thinking about whether or not I accept their ways of life. I suppose you only need accept my right to the same respect, dignity, and set of rights as a citizen as yourself.
I believe civil unions are separate but equal. We tried that once. I would not be opposed to civil marriage for all and religious marriage for those churches which allow it. Churches are not currently forced to marry any two people who walk through their doors with a license. That should not change.
I think the communion thing is sad. It was her Mother's funeral. Who knows which other sinners were getting communion?? That said, I was raised Catholic and I have many friend and family who are Catholic.
Do you feel like everyone should accept how you live your life?
Would you be okay with all gays being granted civil unions if they are allowed the same rights as marriage?
If granted the right to marry, do you think churches should be forced to perform these ceremonies?
How did you feel about the lesbian who was denied communion at her mother's funeral?
A: I am extremely tolerant of varied religious views until those views impinge on my rights as an American citizen.
I find your next question to be so odd. I don't spend my days looking at people around me and thinking about whether or not I accept their ways of life. I suppose you only need accept my right to the same respect, dignity, and set of rights as a citizen as yourself.
I believe civil unions are separate but equal. We tried that once. I would not be opposed to civil marriage for all and religious marriage for those churches which allow it. Churches are not currently forced to marry any two people who walk through their doors with a license. That should not change.
I think the communion thing is sad. It was her Mother's funeral. Who knows which other sinners were getting communion?? That said, I was raised Catholic and I have many friend and family who are Catholic.
Q: Do you have any good crock pot recipes? I am seriously needing some new ideas.
A: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/spicy-slow-cooker-black-bean-soup/
I do this over brown rice cooked in veggie stock. Yum!
A: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/spicy-slow-cooker-black-bean-soup/
I do this over brown rice cooked in veggie stock. Yum!
Q: OP, I have a gay male relative who makes really hateful comments about other gay males. He says always that since he is gay, he is allowed to say certain things. These are comments he would never say to their face atleast I hope not. Should I just ignore his hateful comments or correct him? I am not sure what to say or do. Is this mostly an immaturity issue (he is 26) ?
A: hmm. Sounds to me like he may be dealing with some internalized homophobia along with immaturity. If he is being truly ugly I'd ask him to tone it down. "Hey Bob, I'd appreciate it if you'd knock that kind of talk off. ".
"Dude, shut up Mary, I am queer so I can say what I want."
"Actually, no. You're being crude and offensive and you need to stop."
A: hmm. Sounds to me like he may be dealing with some internalized homophobia along with immaturity. If he is being truly ugly I'd ask him to tone it down. "Hey Bob, I'd appreciate it if you'd knock that kind of talk off. ".
"Dude, shut up Mary, I am queer so I can say what I want."
"Actually, no. You're being crude and offensive and you need to stop."
My wife found that lean steak or another protein rich meal was good for her. We did a lot of roasts and kebabs. Also I seem to remember cheesecake as being an ok treat sometimes versus other sweets.
Q:I am not PP, but I wanted to say that I am sorry that people made such hateful comments on the other thread.
A: Thank you. That was the reason I wanted to do this. I am not a boogeyman. I am a person. My family is real and already a part of your community. All I ask is for the respect and dignity we should all be granted as humans. I understand that people might be uncomfortable. I will say it again, I think we have a lot more in common than not.
Me? I like folk music and hate autotune. I still listen to Nirvana when I feel angsty. I love hiking in the woods and reading historical fiction. My favorite food is steak and potatoes but most of my friends are vegetarian. I could use advice on how to get my 2 year old to transition to a toddler bed. I live for March Madness. I am fascinated by astronomy and space exploration. I want my kids to know the sound of sprin peepers more than sirens. I love my grandma so much it hurts and I wish we lived closer.
There is so much more to all of us than who we fall in love with.
A: Thank you. That was the reason I wanted to do this. I am not a boogeyman. I am a person. My family is real and already a part of your community. All I ask is for the respect and dignity we should all be granted as humans. I understand that people might be uncomfortable. I will say it again, I think we have a lot more in common than not.
Me? I like folk music and hate autotune. I still listen to Nirvana when I feel angsty. I love hiking in the woods and reading historical fiction. My favorite food is steak and potatoes but most of my friends are vegetarian. I could use advice on how to get my 2 year old to transition to a toddler bed. I live for March Madness. I am fascinated by astronomy and space exploration. I want my kids to know the sound of sprin peepers more than sirens. I love my grandma so much it hurts and I wish we lived closer.
There is so much more to all of us than who we fall in love with.
I think I will do better on the friend front when the kids are bigger and we aren't slaves to the nap and 7 pm bedtime. We do have some young families here but they are both very religious. They have never been nasty, but it is obvious we aren't going to be BFFs. Our kids do play together. Another family has an older daughter that my boys love. Our families may turn into friends.
I have a lot of great colleagues but only one has recently started a family. As I said upthread, my wife is very shy so she has a hard time with new people.
I have a lot of great colleagues but only one has recently started a family. As I said upthread, my wife is very shy so she has a hard time with new people.
Q:, I have a young child and my husband and I would totally want to be friends with you if we knew you in real life because you seem nice!
A: well thanks! I am pretty nice; my mama raised me right. To the poster who asked if you just would want to be friends b/c I am gay, I am desperate enough for friends I don't know that I'd care so long as we had other things in common. Hell, I want more straight friends so that my kids see mother/father families. Does that make me a hypocrit?
A: well thanks! I am pretty nice; my mama raised me right. To the poster who asked if you just would want to be friends b/c I am gay, I am desperate enough for friends I don't know that I'd care so long as we had other things in common. Hell, I want more straight friends so that my kids see mother/father families. Does that make me a hypocrit?