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I strongly recommend you start by getting an evaluation, as it's required for admission to certain programs (for example, St. John's Benilde, which may be a good fit). It will help you know what your son needs, and a good evaluator will be able to recommend specific schools.
Just a heads up that some of those public parks prohibit alcohol (and actively enforce the restriction). I think it would be really helpful to bring a side dish and to let your friend know what you'll be bringing. I imagine they're really busy with the move so taking care of one thing would probably be welcomed.
Anonymous wrote:
weekendready wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
weekendready wrote:We know a family that has 2 upper school students and is very satisfied. Both parents well-informed and considered other schools, including MCPS. One of their sons is involved with music, the other swim team. We attended the orientation and I was impressed by the class sizes and the impromptu interactions I had with faculty, who seem motivated to refine their teaching methods. It also felt like a warm, friendly environment. The kids used actual textbooks in several classes, which I think is good.

However, I got the sense that additional support for kids with ADHD would cost more out of pocket, making the school not feasible for us. We ended up choosing another high school for price and location.


Is not a special needs school so anything beyond testing accommodations I assume you would have to cover. Did the school you chose offer ADHD support beyond extra time for test?


Yes the school we chose offers additional support beyond extra time for test. I am not sure if I'd consider ADHD to be "special needs" considering almost 10 percent of young people have it.



Do you mean you’re paying for after-school tutors?


If you are asking because you're looking for support for your ADHD child, please go ahead and post on the special needs forum and share more specifics about your child -- you'll get much better information there. I'm happy to help others whose kids have learning challenges, and I'm grateful for the help our family has received from others in that forum!
Anonymous wrote:
weekendready wrote:We know a family that has 2 upper school students and is very satisfied. Both parents well-informed and considered other schools, including MCPS. One of their sons is involved with music, the other swim team. We attended the orientation and I was impressed by the class sizes and the impromptu interactions I had with faculty, who seem motivated to refine their teaching methods. It also felt like a warm, friendly environment. The kids used actual textbooks in several classes, which I think is good.

However, I got the sense that additional support for kids with ADHD would cost more out of pocket, making the school not feasible for us. We ended up choosing another high school for price and location.


Is not a special needs school so anything beyond testing accommodations I assume you would have to cover. Did the school you chose offer ADHD support beyond extra time for test?


Yes the school we chose offers additional support beyond extra time for test. I am not sure if I'd consider ADHD to be "special needs" considering almost 10 percent of young people have it.
Anonymous wrote:I've written about my oldest DS with ADHD/LD/Anxiety (now 20) before. He sounds a lot like your DS. It was tough because there is/was a behavioral element to his poor academic performance. I still don't know how much of it was behavioral and how much was because of his ADHD. I couldn't even get DS to use a calendar to track when something was due or needed to be done. He also refused to check the apps/sites the school and teachers maintained for their classes. It's not that he couldn't - he did really well in the classes that he liked and was on top of things. He also had a part time job that he did really well at. The bottom line was I had to recognize that you just can't make someone 'care' so, I focused on the advice his psychiatrist gave me: Get him through high school without depression and without a substance abuse issue. Everything else can be fixed later.

That was really freeing for me.

This problem started to arise in MS. It was at that time I started having my first conversations with DS about this being practice for college and life. I understood he didn't care about the grade in the particular class, that he'd never use what was being taught and that it was boring. I actually didn't disagree with what he was saying but brought up examples in my professional life of having to do work I didn't want to do, didn't think was interesting, didn't think there was value doing and that challenged my ability to attend to it - everyone has experienced this and practicing in school would better ensure you were prepared in college and in the work place. I talked about this until a few months before he graduated from high school.

It was also in MS that I started talking to DS about behaviors I needed to see in order to pay for him to go away to college - behaviors that would indicate he could/would be successful in college. I wasn't pushing college, there are many ways to be successful, but DS always insisted he wanted to go. It wasn't until February his senior year that he realized the consequences of his actions. Even if I'd been willing to pay for him to go away for college, his GPA was low, he'd not taken the SATs and he hadn't applied anywhere.

DS still wanted to go to college so I guided him to community college. He started out taking the 'jump start' classes for free that were offered to FCPS students through NOVA. It was then that he started learning the lessons he should have been learning in high school. He's now finishing his 2nd year at NOVA and I can't say enough good things about community college. He's getting where he needs to be. He'll be going to George Mason in the fall. I have no doubt that if he'd gone away for college that he would not have had the same success. He still needs more support than his younger sister but he's really maturing and I'm amazed at the growth I've seen in him. He's now the reliable one, a leader, in group projects!

TLDR: Focus on getting your DS through high school without depression and without a substance abuse issue, everything else can be 'fixed' later. Focus on those classes required to graduate with a regular diploma. Have conversations with your DS regarding plans after HS and be clear on what you need to see in order to accommodate those plans. Be prepared to provide support longer than what 'typical' kids may have.


Thank you for sharing this - so helpful. I needed to see this today. All the best to you and your family!
We know a family that has 2 upper school students and is very satisfied. Both parents well-informed and considered other schools, including MCPS. One of their sons is involved with music, the other swim team. We attended the orientation and I was impressed by the class sizes and the impromptu interactions I had with faculty, who seem motivated to refine their teaching methods. It also felt like a warm, friendly environment. The kids used actual textbooks in several classes, which I think is good.

However, I got the sense that additional support for kids with ADHD would cost more out of pocket, making the school not feasible for us. We ended up choosing another high school for price and location.
Thanks for sharing these resources. Can anyone recommend resources, strategies, and social skills coaches for a ADHD teen (and his parents) without an IEP who is not building positive peer relationships? They're outgoing and good at meeting people - it's keeping the relationships that's the challenge, though they seem unaware.
Could someone who's had success with a 1:1 social skills coach please share information - what to look for in terms of credentials, experience, etc. And recommendations of specific people?

Thank you!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There are always posters around ready to tee up some hate for the area privates who serve a variety of learners. Doesn't matter if some of the students are accepted to ivies, if every kid didn't have to have top test scores to get in they consider the school "a joke".



St Johns doesn’t have many different learning styles what it hais Catholic parents that want that type of schooling .

College admits from St Johns are way below public

Great your kid got an education in Catholicism more than a secular great education

If that’s what you want for your kid more power to you.


Yes, isn’t it great parents have these choices? You can send your kids to a school you like even if other parents make a different choice

And wouldn’t it be great if every private school had a program like SJC’s Benilde, for students with learning differences? It’s really popular. Does your child’s school have a structured program for students with LDs?


The Benilde program is similar to scholars in that the student takes regular classes along with the rest of the student population. It is not a specially developed program with specific classes or teachers for what it's worth. A friend just went through the application process and decided the GC Ryken program was much stronger. Honestly, SJC's Scholars and Benilde programs feel like label slapping to me.


We know families with kids in both Benilde and Ryken programs, and they are very pleased. These programs are for smart, motivated students with mild learning differences like ADHD who are getting the structure and support needed to reach their full potential. I've heard nothing but good things about these programs. I wish every school, private and public, had such a program, and that the programs started in younger grades, and that they could accept all the students that need them.
Anonymous wrote:My son has been to both. Both were excellent experiences for him. The counselors are well trained and provide supportive coaching. The programs are both structured to help the kids succeed together as a group and individually. I dont think there is a wrong decision between these two places. My son came home from both programs in a really good place emotionally & mentally. The Sequoia program has way more creature comforts (air conditioned dorms) and a cafeteria. The program my son did w/ SOAR was all outdoors camping and the group cooked their meals together. I'd be happy to touch base offline privately if you want to talk.


Hi, thanks for your kind offer to touch base offline. Yes, I'd love to hear more about your son's experience. Would you please try contacting me via my DCUM profile shown here? Thank you!
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