Message
Anonymous wrote:I'm clearly not in your shoes, but I wanted to chime in to say that ambivalence toward a pregnancy (especially one that is "mistimed") is normal. And it's okay to feel sad and overwhelmed about this huge change you're in the middle of now, especially if you know that abortion isn't an option for you. (I felt this way with both of my (planned) pregnancies!) I also wanted to encourage you to seek professional help if you think you need it, ideally from someone who specializes in perinatal mental health. A good therapist and psychiatrist saved me during my first pregnancy and postpartum. Don't underestimate what you're going through -- between pregnancy hormones, the stress of residency, and the additive effect of this being unplanned/mistimed -- it's a lot. That said, humans are amazingly resilient creatures, as I'm sure you already know. Do what you have to do to shore up your support systems and build reservoirs of strength, and be kind to yourself. Sending hugs.
Co-signed. This is a great response.
Its normal-- I felt that way even with a planned pregnancy. I was just coming off my residency and starting as a tenure-track assistant professor. Managing the stress and high expectations for myself + pregnancy hormones and the reality that for the first time my education/career would have to take a back seat was a tough pill to swallow. As that little fetus grew into a baby so did my excitement. I talked to women who had navigated a similar scenario before me. I talked to my supervisor about plans and expectations. I talked to my husband and a few trusted friends about what was on my mind. Now my little guy's here, he's 3 months old, and it has been amazing. Motherhood and being a career-focused woman has its challenges to be sure, but it is so incredibly rewarding.
So pre-pregnancy I'm justttt at the lower end of "overweight." I eat well and exercised regularly but I was still super self-
conscious of my body and was careful how I dressed to camouflage the best I could. When I was pregnant (past the ambiguous stage) I felt so cute in form fitting clothing I normally would never wear. I felt really cute until the last month or so... then I just felt like a house with feet swollen to the size of shoeboxes.
conscious of my body and was careful how I dressed to camouflage the best I could. When I was pregnant (past the ambiguous stage) I felt so cute in form fitting clothing I normally would never wear. I felt really cute until the last month or so... then I just felt like a house with feet swollen to the size of shoeboxes.
I'm allergic to standard deodorants, so I've used my fair share of natural ones.
Heres what DID NOT work: crystal, crystal roll on, Tom's of Maine, Trader Joe's, Every Man Jack
Worked well: Primal Pit Paste - strong (husband used this too), stopped using it because I'm not a huge fan of the paste application and the stick didn't work as well for me. It also gave me a rash/chemical burn occasionally.
My new great love in life: Native deodorant (only available from their website I think). Works really, really well for both hubs and I. Occasional under arm irritation but not as bad as pit paste-- they have a new sensitive formula I've not yet tried.
Also, I've heard good things about Schmidt's but I have not tried it personally-- looks pretty similar to Primal Pit Paste from what I can tell.
Heres what DID NOT work: crystal, crystal roll on, Tom's of Maine, Trader Joe's, Every Man Jack
Worked well: Primal Pit Paste - strong (husband used this too), stopped using it because I'm not a huge fan of the paste application and the stick didn't work as well for me. It also gave me a rash/chemical burn occasionally.
My new great love in life: Native deodorant (only available from their website I think). Works really, really well for both hubs and I. Occasional under arm irritation but not as bad as pit paste-- they have a new sensitive formula I've not yet tried.
Also, I've heard good things about Schmidt's but I have not tried it personally-- looks pretty similar to Primal Pit Paste from what I can tell.