Finally managed to do it...I think that I did not fill in the "subject" the first few times...duh

Hi Jeff, for the past two days I have been trying to post a comment to the "Summer Vacation" weblog but with no success - when I try to "add" my comment, it just refreshes that same screen and my comment never appears...

Thanks

Well, its not just a boy thing - our 3.5yo daughter plays with imaginary guns (fingers). She doesn't really point at anything, just into the air, so peraps she does not understand the purpose of a gun...so for now, I let it go. She is also a big fan of ANY villian in movies (Vlad in Horton, Captain Hook in Peter Pan, etc.) - she never acts out the good guy part, only the villain...go figure!

You don't say how long he has been going to this class, but just a thought, which may sound counter-intuitive. Perhaps you need to increase the number of days per week for him to get comfortable. Going only two days per week may not be enough to really establish a routine for him (as each day is different) and to enable him to feel like an "insider" at school rather than an "outsider". That said, if it has not been very long since he started, I would give it a bit more time on the current schedule to see if he adjusts - it can take some kids a few weeks, others a few months to adjust to a new situation. If he does not adjust and you do not want to increase the number of days per week, right now perhaps just wait until he is 3, then try again (and do regular play dates as suggested).

Also, just another thought...You say that the school has been "understanding", but have they pro-actively fostered an environment that would make your son more comfortable with other children, e.g. by encouraging him to play along side (not necessarily "with" since sharing is a sensitive issue) just one other child at a time, each with their own toys, or to toss a ball back and forth (which he obvoiusly can't do alone). While my daughter did not act out when she started school, she did tend to stay on the sidelines, but the teachers proactively encouraged her to get involved in a way that was not threatening to her. It was just a matter of weeks before she became more engaged and started making friends at school.

Good luck with whatever you decide. I know how hard it must be to hear that your child is having a rough time of it - school at that age should be a fun experience but he may just need some extra help to make it fun for him.

Contrary to many of the negative responses, from our experience, I really don't think that most restaurants mind so much if you bring food for little ones, though we stick to "kid-friendly" places. While we no longer do this - our daughter is 3.5 yo is a pretty good eater - we used to bring her "snacks" or some "back up" food. If she were a picky eater, I imagine that I would continue to do so. Frankly, sometimes a snack is really needed when waiting 20 to 30 minutes for the meal (or even appetizers) to arrive. While I never really thought about it too much, we hardly ever order her a separate meal and typically just share our own meals with her and order an extra side dish or two of veggies if we think that it will not be enough for all of us. We base at least one of own choices on what we think our daughter will eat. We share, not because we are cheap, but because so many restaurants assume that kids will only eat fried foods (which our daughter does not like) or ones buried in gooey cheese - both OK for an occasional meal out but if there are other choices on the menu, I would go with those - sometimes the only choice is to share an adult meal. Maybe if there were a choice of more healthy options (e.g. just smaller portions of the food on the adult menu or more sides), along with the typical "kids fare", they would find more parents actually purchasing meals for their kids. That said, I do think that any food that is brought in should be done discretely - no need to hide, but also no need to do a whole "spread" for the kid. Whether brought in or not, I also think that parents should make a good effrot to clean up after their kids, i.e. no more mess left than that of a typical adult. At the same time, I think a restaurant has the right to refuse - they may not get my business as a result, but I suppose it is their right.

Thanks PP (and all the others). I am also concerned about keeping her in her room at night, which is why I am thinking "cool" rather than "cold" turkey - perhaps the book you suggest will give some practical tips on this...I am heading to the Amazon link after this to order it. I am just hoping that, with a "cool" turkey approach (i.e. I come in to comfort her back to sleep), she will have the confidence that, though I am not in the same room with her, I will always comes if she needs me in the middle of the night. I am also thinking I will wait until a week or so after DH gets back (so I have support and so that she does not associate my "moving out" with Daddy's return, and, lastly, hopefully the book will have arrived as I am overseas).

Thanks all. I think that we shall try a cold, or "cool", turkey approach, i.e. if she cries in the night, I will go into comfort her back to sleep but will return to the big folks bed. Part of me asks myself why wouldn't/shouldn't our daughter have the warm safety of mommy around at night - most of us would rather have somebody to cuddle with at night and why should it be so different for a 3yo? Of course, all the while, DH is solo most of the night (though, admittedly, he is a light sleeper and probably does better without me there snoring).

Perhaps we shall try the new sheets, since she only has drab, adult-style sheets - gotta put her obsession with Dora and/or or Spiderman to good use! We did try the cold turkey thing a few months ago, but she got sick and so I caved and never tried again. She did OK for a few nights, so I guess it is time to just take the plunge. My DH is actually out of town for the next couple of weeks so need to decide whether to start now or wait til Daddy returns. On the one hand, it will be one less adult to cope with a sleepless night. On the other, I don't have "backup" at the end of a long day if I just can't stay awake any longer. I would give it a try this weekend but our heat went on the blink and I can't get it fixed until Monday so huddling/cuddling in a single room at night is not such a bad idea...

Will keep you all posted...

So, I have been co-sleeping with my daughter, now 3.5 yo, since she was about 15 months. Nothing we planned, but this is where we ended up...Any advice on how to break the habit (both mine and hers!) at this point? After snuggling with hubby at night, I sleep in her room with her, so no opportunity to make a big deal about a "big girl's bed", etc. I imagine that we will just have to suck it up and do it, "cold turkey", and accept that we will have a week or so of REALLY bad nights, going in and out to reassure her and get her back to sleep. She is a pretty good sleeper but often cuddles up next to me in the wee hours of the morning (i.e. before daylight) so she will surely notice that I am not there before the night is over. I usually try to make sure that the has a teddy bear or other stuffed animal to clutch as she falls asleep, but she rolls over after a while and rarely searches for it in the night (perhaps because she knows that I am there). I am thinking of taking some time off work (or doing half days in the afternoon) so that I can get some sleep and function, but of course could only really do that for, say, a long 4-day weekend...Any other suggestions to smooth the path to independent sleep at this age? I would also appreciate feedback on how long it took to do the transition once you started.

I was on very strict best rest from 33 weeks, as well as meds to slow pre-term contractions. I sympathize because it was absolutely awful - not very restful as I was stressed out the whole time worrying that my daughter would arrive too early. While most babies are fine at the 35/36 week mark, like some of the other PPs, I was more comfortable holding out as long as possible to bring her to full-term (37 week). I went off bed rest in week 36 and delivered at exactly 37 weeks 0 days. Re the boredom, perhaps you can arrange activities at home (or at a relative/friend's house if you are allowed a short car trip) for your 3yo in which you can be "involved" (from the sidelines) or at least watch, and have the benefit of company of other adults, at least for a couple of hours each day? Invite a friend or two over for lunch/tea (even if you have to lie down and they have to bring/prepare it) - I did not speak up loud enough to my friends that I really needed visitors during that time - all assumed that I wanted to be alone and were afraid to disturb me too much!

Ah, we are experts in this area! In a span of 6 months, we moved for a 2-month assignment overseas, then moved back to our "old" apartment in DC for one month, then moved overseas again, where we were in a hotel for one month, then in a new house. Same story with the schools, obviously. My daughter was 2.5 at the start (so 3 for the last move). I always thought her to be a very spirited girl and worried about her being overwhelmed by so many changes (which also included an almost 2-month separation from Daddy during the latest move), but she has been amazingly resilient and has taken it all in stride and quickly made herself at home. Given that we were moving overseas, there was no time/opportunity for easing her into the situation. With neither move did she even have very many of her toys, just what would fit in a suitcase (books, puzzles, etc.) until our shipment arrived. I felt bad but she coped up much better than expected with so much change (though it put us behind on thepotty training, which has been a more recent victory).

So, based on these posts, you have options - go all out and make it an exciting transition (the 22:19 poster sounds like they had great fun!) or make it a total non-event. I think you really need to "read" your own kids in terms of how well they handle change. In either case, I would pack up their stuff last, preferably when they are not at home, to avoid either tears/tantrum or the packing/repacking/repacking/repacking fiasco (my daughter likes nothing better than to empty out a box and she does it faster than I pack it up!)

I'm the PP - then perhaps just try a few different burping techniques at the end of the feeding and see how it goes. On the other hand, maybe she would eventually learn to re-latch, especailly if she does burp? Perhaps she is now just too uncomfortable, once she unlatches, to start again?

Thanks, Jeff...now I just need to get myself in gear to not only start writing but to also finish...

Re kids running free, yep, and not just at the mall. We see very young kids (as young as 3 or 4) walking alone up and down our residential street, which is filled with middle-class, presumably educated, families. While I am glad to be living somewhere, for a change, where fears of kidnapping or pedophiles are non-existent, it is definitely scary to see, given the complete disregard for any traffic rules...Sometimes I walk around here musing how many, if in the US, would have had Child Services called on them! While I try to put as many of my cultural biases to the side, some things are just too hard to overlook...then I remind myself of our two months living in Cairo where we were dependent on seat beltless (let alone car seatless) taxis for transportation...

On the other hand, as you pointed out, adults (even teenagers) look out for others' children in this part of the world - no dirty looks if my own kid breaks free and makes a mad dash for the automatic revolving door...just a helping hand and a smile! They probably muse, in turn, at my constant "hovering" behind my daughter...

Hi Jeff,

How does one post something to the homepage weblog? If I ever get my act together, I thought that I would put together something on bringing up a child in a different country/culture (I am the poster living in Jordan)...

Thanks