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Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
playing "guns"
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Anonymous
| How to handle boys ages 5 and under who will make anything into a gun (sticks, legos, bread, you name it), and always want to play good guy / bad guy, 'shoot the robber', play-dead, or other shooting game? Some say it's inevitable, they're going to play this no matter what you say, so let 'em at it. Others say they can practice "shooting" at objects, but draw the line at pretend shooting at people. We have various minds in our neighborhood, and am interested in others' thoughts so we can try to arrive at some consistent rules. |
Anonymous
| Our boys (5 & 7 y.o) have moved into this stage. When one "shoots" the other the other is upset about it. So I quickly jump in to say something about "see how it makes you feel when someone shoots you.. don't you think you're brother feels the same?" I encourage them not to shoot at each other or other kids because it hurts their feelings and that usually works. There seems to be no way to stop the "gun play", they don't even watch cartoons with mock shooting. I try not to make a big deal out of it, but I do draw the line at shooting at each other. I wonder if societies that don't have such a big gun influence still have kids pretending to shoot each other or if it's an American thing? |
Anonymous
| I don't think it is an american thing, I think it is a boy thing. How do they even learn about guns. I never let mine watch that sort of stuff but he knows and pretends to play with guns. My husband says it is the testosteron (SP) I think he is right. |
Anonymous
LOL. my 7 y.o. old started playing WWII after watching The Sound of Music. Seriously. This is what you get out of the movie? Not singing on the hill side, but pretending to be soldiers after the family. Boys are weird! 
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Anonymous
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Nothing is more disconcerting than when my two nephews, who were 4 at the time, both held play guns at me and said "We have to kill you." I asked why and they said "You are a good person. We are bad people."
We just let it go. They got over it. I would definitely think that shooting AT people is worse than shooting at things, though. I didn't realize how weird it was until that moment. I am happy though that at least they saw the "bad" people as the shooters. That's something. |
Anonymous
| It's a boy thing. My 4 year old starting the whole gun phase after watching the Sound of Music as well (glad to hear he wasn't the only one). He went through a pirate phase for a while -- then a British colonial soldier phase (from watching bits and pieces of Pirates of the Caribbean). Now he's going through a military camoflauge stage -- prompted by the clothing that Zack wears on the Suite Life of Zack and Cody. Critics would probably say that we should kill the tv -- but I think he would have picked up this stuff anyway b/c we know kids who aren't allowed to watch any tv who have gone through the same stages. Best story I heard was from a fellow public interest attorney who works at legal aid representing homeless people (ie: a great man who is kind and politically correct in every aspect of his life). Apparently his psychologist parents wouldn't let him play with toy guns as a child. So what did he do? He checked out a book from his school library with a picture of a gun; traced it; then played with the paper gun. This prompted his dad to finally give in and buy him a toy gun -- he wanted him to fit in with the other neighborhood kids. I know other liberal, earthy-crunchy type parents who finally gave in and let their boys play with toy guns as well. If they aren't playing good guys/bad guys, cowboys/indians, cops/robbers, etc. with toy guns, they'll still roughhouse, wrestle, etc. That's how boys play -- and some girls, too. My sisters and I used to play "war" with the boys who lived next door. We had real Vietnam era helmets, uniforms, and cap guns. We built forts, hid in bushes, and ran around the neighborhood (sometimes on foot, sometimes on bikes) chasing eachother. No permanent damage was done. We grew up to be public interest lawyers, teachers, businesspeople, etc. For the record: we're also typical East Coast liberals who fully support gun control. |
amma_mama
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| Well, its not just a boy thing - our 3.5yo daughter plays with imaginary guns (fingers). She doesn't really point at anything, just into the air, so peraps she does not understand the purpose of a gun...so for now, I let it go. She is also a big fan of ANY villian in movies (Vlad in Horton, Captain Hook in Peter Pan, etc.) - she never acts out the good guy part, only the villain...go figure! |
Anonymous
| I agree it's inevitable, but as my husband says, "it's all Lord of the Flies - it's our job to civilize them." He has five brothers and most of them as well as their father are military-trained, so it's not like he's a pacifist. So what's the balance? What's the underlying principle to apply? Is it "respect human life and be kind to people" -- which might mean no play guns, period? Or is it, "don't hurt people (physically or emotionally) / play kindly", which could allow for gun play, but no "shooting" at people unless both agree to play the game? I'm thinking it's the latter, which is not only more realistic, but also teaches you have to respect the feelings of your friends. It's a tough one... |
Anonymous
| My husband is military too. So, when the boys (we have two - now 7 & 13) started playing guns, he treated their "guns" like real guns. He told them the RULE and made them repeat it "THE GUN IS ALWAYS LOADED"., and NEVER POINT A GUN AT ANYONE. They finally had to tell him "Dad - they're not real - but it changed their play (a wee bit), made them feel grown up when they could lecture their friends on gun safety. Boys and Guns - you can't fight it, so start the education early. |
Anonymous
i think that is great. |
Anonymous
| I always thought it was odd that my Brother and SIL baned any guns or gun play (like water guns) but bought the kids an archery set. I said: "So it's not weapons you have an issue with, it's just weapons made after the mid 1600s?" They were not amused. |
Anonymous
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PP: LOL! Your response was fab.
I'm not a gun-lover by any stretch but I think when we outright "ban" stuff kids want it even more. I could be wrong, but that's my guess (fear???). |