My best friend when I was young had three older brothers--one of whom was named after the father. Over time, I learned that there was a household about an hour away with two step brothers--one of whom was also named after the father--and a step sister living about an hour away. The ages of the siblings were intermingled with my friend’s full brothers, meaning that both families were built at the same time. I met them because they came to a family picnic that I attended. Don’t know more details, but 40 years later, the dad is still with my friend’s mother.

Luckily, DW did not catch this from her mother because the mother in law is definitely like this. It seems to largely be narcissism. Everything is perceived through her own self so every once in a while there is a big to do because of some imagined slight over something that doesn't have a damned thing to do with her.

Can you talk to her about it productively? DMIL will act like she wants feedback from DW but is then so incredibly defensive that the whole conversation is both stressful and pointless.

Was never too much the butterfly type so no, I don't get them. But I would miss her if she were away, am happy when she comes home and still find her incredibly sexy. Two young kids. 15 years.