Anonymous wrote:First disclosure - I am female. Second disclosure - I saw myself in this - used to be like this years ago. I woke up and my marriage is SO MUCH BETTER! Do I get bitchy sometimes? Sure. But I'm also quick to let him know when I'm overtired or PMSed, so that he doesn't take it personally. In fact, now we laugh a lot more than we did, because he will say something like "OK, you know this is not my fault, but you are giving me sh*t about it anyway, right?" Before he would be spinning trying to fix things that were NOT his fault. A huge catch-22 for men.

So take note and ask yourself if perhaps, there is any part of you in this. It just might save your marriage:

http://www.youngcons.com/woman-realizes-shes-been-verbally-abusing-her-husband-without-even-knowing-it/

+1M

This article could also be titled, "The Other Reason Men Have Affairs."

Anonymous wrote:I find OP's post funny since 70K is coincidentally the threshold above which additional money does not seem to correlate with happiness. It seems like her husband is actually working quite smart.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Usually it's a RBF.

What's that?

I'm thinking this:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=RBF

Not very nice, but I do think some people (not just women) are hard to approach because their "resting" face makes them look angry, or at the very least, uninterested in human contact.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty but I think I just give off this vibe of not being interested. Also I'm married and so my rings and my children tagging along behind me probably decrease my likelihoods of getting hit on. It happens very rarely though I can usually tell when a guy checks me out. However, a few years ago, I was in line at Giant and a guy in the next line over kept looking over at me. It was very obvious and made me a bit uncomfortable. I walked out to my car when I was done and his happened to be on the way to mine. I passed him loading his groceries in and he said "I just want to say, you are one of the most stunningly beautiful women I have ever seen in real life. I'm sure you noticed I couldn't stop staring, but it was distracting really. Anyway, I noticed you're married, so don't tell your husband I said this, or maybe do, but I just wanted to tell you." I wouldn't say he was hitting on me since he knew nothing was coming out of it but it was very nice and really flattering. I think if men are going to hit on a woman, they should do it like that. He was very kind and sincere and not at all sleezy.

OMG. I had a guy say exactly the same thing to me outside of a Giant in Annandale - back in '88 (I'm not kidding). I was walking along the sidewalk at the front of the store and he came rushing up to me out of nowhere with that line - "You're so beautiful!" I was a little taken aback and laughed and told him thanks but that I was engaged. We both went into Giant. I found what I needed and went to pay for it. Next thing I knew he was standing behind me "That's a beautiful engagement ring you have. Your fiance is a lucky man". Well, o.k.!

I half expected him to follow me to my car but he didn't. Is this a LINE that some group of guys use to pick up women?

Sometimes. I mean, in the hands of the right guy, at the right moment, flattery can be a pretty effective opening, as long as it's sincere.

But sometimes, maybe we just want to tell you. I don't know why, but often when I see an attractive woman I have this strange urge to tell her. Most of the time I supress it, but occasionally I give in. It's risky, and sometimes it falls flat, or you get that icy glare and you just kind of nod awkwardly and walk away. But most of the time she smiles and says thank you. And it feels good.

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty but I think I just give off this vibe of not being interested. Also I'm married and so my rings and my children tagging along behind me probably decrease my likelihoods of getting hit on. It happens very rarely though I can usually tell when a guy checks me out. However, a few years ago, I was in line at Giant and a guy in the next line over kept looking over at me. It was very obvious and made me a bit uncomfortable. I walked out to my car when I was done and his happened to be on the way to mine. I passed him loading his groceries in and he said "I just want to say, you are one of the most stunningly beautiful women I have ever seen in real life. I'm sure you noticed I couldn't stop staring, but it was distracting really. Anyway, I noticed you're married, so don't tell your husband I said this, or maybe do, but I just wanted to tell you." I wouldn't say he was hitting on me since he knew nothing was coming out of it but it was very nice and really flattering. I think if men are going to hit on a woman, they should do it like that. He was very kind and sincere and not at all sleezy.

+1

See you in the check out line ...

Anonymous wrote:I am a normal looking 28 year old woman. I'm not fat and do my hair and makeup most days. How come I never get checked out?
My friend however has guys flocking to her all the time.

Why?

I think you're talking about two different things here, OP. There's getting checked out, and then there's guys flocking to you (i.e. getting hit on).

Like other PPs have pointed out, you may very well be getting checked out, but are simply unaware of it. I would say this surely is the case. My suggestion? Invest in a pair of dark sunglasses, the kind that completely conceal your eyes, then keep your head up and take a look around. I guarantee it will be like strapping on a mask and going scuba diving for the first time. Suddenly a whole new world will appear before you. Mine work like a charm. (Women, btw, are truly masters of the stealth check out. It really is an art form.)

Having guys hit on you is an entirely different matter. What do you actually consider a hit? I was at the grocery store the other day and noticed a very attractive woman. We kept running into each other in the aisles, and I smiled politely once or twice - nothing dramatic. We ended up walking out at the same time, and as we were parting ways I said, in as nonthreatening, noncreepy a way as I could, "That's a beautiful dress." (Note: When a man tells you your dress is beautiful, it means he thinks you are beautiful.) There was no expectation of anything, no pressure for her to even respond. She said "Thanks," and smiled at me, and then went on her way. Did I hit on her? Did she think I hit on her? I think it depends on your definition. I wanted to connect with a beautiful woman for one moment, and I did. I didn't buy her a drink, or ask her if she just fell from heaven. But I thought she was beautiful, and I wanted to tell her, and if instead of "Thanks," and walking away, she'd stopped and said, "Thanks, you just made my day," well, then who knows ...

I think sometimes a hit masquerades as something else - a compliment, praise. Or maybe it's nothing. That's the game.

Anonymous wrote:I've experienced it, but never on a sustained basis. Haven't given up, though.

+1

Me either.

Anonymous wrote:What does intimacy mean to you?
How would you define it?
Are there different types or one type that exists along a spectrum?

Okay, I'll bite.

I think intimacy - and I mean true intimacy - is one of the hardest human needs to fulfill. It's extremely varied and complex, and for most of us, hard to put into words. That's because intimacy is about connecting with another human being on a nonverbal level - a raw, intense, emotional level. It's more than just having good conversation, shared interests and experiences. It's being vulnerable, and opening yourself up to heartbreak. It's caring so deeply for someone that you know what they're thinking and what they're feeling, and you would readily lay down your own life rather than see them in pain. It means creating an incredibly deep connection with someone, a connection that makes you feel truly alive, like you actually exist, like you matter.

Sex is a necessary and VITAL component of intimacy, at least in my world. It's the bond that keeps the connection strong. We humans need to touch and be touched. For God's sake, it's called a sex drive for a reason. But while it is necessary, it's hardly sufficient. You need that other part - the emotional connection - for a truly intimate relationship to thrive. Personally, I think these relationships are unicorns, but God bless those who have (or believe they have) found one. But for the most part I think we're all just kind of doomed to a life of never really finding that connection, or worse, finding it when it's too late. Of settling. Of finding ways to get through, and coming to terms with our choices. Crushed under the weight of everyday life.

Kind of lost.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is an odd question. I think there are people who are attracted to every body type. So, yes, I think some men really dig petite women and some dig tall women.

There is one thing that is strange about being petite. I am 5'1" and, when I was single, people kept pressuring me to date shorter guys, kind of like I owed it to them to date people closer to my height. I actually didn't have any height preferences especially because most all men are taller than me anyway, but it was a strange thing. I ended up marrying a 5'10" guy and people definitely seem confused that my husband is not shorter.

I am just under 5 feet and I used to get that pressure too to date short guys, which I have never ever done. I like really tall men, and have seemed to always pair up with the 6 ft 2 and over men. My tallest boyfriend was 6 ft 8.

I'm curious if sex is a problem with such a size and height difference.

Isn't there an old saying that everyone's the same size in bed - ?

Well, the same height anyway...

Cogiteur wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are men attracted to petite women?

I can't speak for all men, but as for this man: omg yes ...

I find that I'm very drawn to petite, naturally curvy women, almost instinctively. Especially petite, curvy Latinas. I've nearly crashed the car on many occasions driving through my 'hood. They really are some of the most beautiful creatures on earth.

Anonymous wrote:Are men attracted to petite women?

I can't speak for all men, but as for this man: omg yes ...