Anonymous wrote:What does intimacy mean to you?
How would you define it?
Are there different types or one type that exists along a spectrum?

Anonymous wrote:I've experienced it, but never on a sustained basis. Haven't given up, though.

Cogiteur wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does intimacy mean to you?
How would you define it?
Are there different types or one type that exists along a spectrum?

Okay, I'll bite.

I think intimacy - and I mean true intimacy - is one of the hardest human needs to fulfill. It's extremely varied and complex, and for most of us, hard to put into words. That's because intimacy is about connecting with another human being on a nonverbal level - a raw, intense, emotional level. It's more than just having good conversation, shared interests and experiences. It's being vulnerable, and opening yourself up to heartbreak. It's caring so deeply for someone that you know what they're thinking and what they're feeling, and you would readily lay down your own life rather than see them in pain. It means creating an incredibly deep connection with someone, a connection that makes you feel truly alive, like you actually exist, like you matter.

Sex is a necessary and VITAL component of intimacy, at least in my world. It's the bond that keeps the connection strong. We humans need to touch and be touched. For God's sake, it's called a sex drive for a reason. But while it is necessary, it's hardly sufficient. You need that other part - the emotional connection - for a truly intimate relationship to thrive. Personally, I think these relationships are unicorns, but God bless those who have (or believe they have) found one. But for the most part I think we're all just kind of doomed to a life of never really finding that connection, or worse, finding it when it's too late. Of settling. Of finding ways to get through, and coming to terms with our choices. Crushed under the weight of everyday life.

Kind of lost.

Cogiteur wrote:

Okay, I'll bite.

I think intimacy - and I mean true intimacy - is one of the hardest human needs to fulfill. It's extremely varied and complex, and for most of us, hard to put into words. That's because intimacy is about connecting with another human being on a nonverbal level - a raw, intense, emotional level. It's more than just having good conversation, shared interests and experiences. It's being vulnerable, and opening yourself up to heartbreak. It's caring so deeply for someone that you know what they're thinking and what they're feeling, and you would readily lay down your own life rather than see them in pain. It means creating an incredibly deep connection with someone, a connection that makes you feel truly alive, like you actually exist, like you matter.

Sex is a necessary and VITAL component of intimacy, at least in my world. It's the bond that keeps the connection strong. We humans need to touch and be touched. For God's sake, it's called a sex drive for a reason. But while it is necessary, it's hardly sufficient. You need that other part - the emotional connection - for a truly intimate relationship to thrive. Personally, I think these relationships are unicorns, but God bless those who have (or believe they have) found one. But for the most part I think we're all just kind of doomed to a life of never really finding that connection, or worse, finding it when it's too late. Of settling. Of finding ways to get through, and coming to terms with our choices. Crushed under the weight of everyday life.

Kind of lost.

Anonymous wrote:

Cogiteur wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does intimacy mean to you?
How would you define it?
Are there different types or one type that exists along a spectrum?

Okay, I'll bite.

I think intimacy - and I mean true intimacy - is one of the hardest human needs to fulfill. It's extremely varied and complex, and for most of us, hard to put into words. That's because intimacy is about connecting with another human being on a nonverbal level - a raw, intense, emotional level. It's more than just having good conversation, shared interests and experiences. It's being vulnerable, and opening yourself up to heartbreak. It's caring so deeply for someone that you know what they're thinking and what they're feeling, and you would readily lay down your own life rather than see them in pain. It means creating an incredibly deep connection with someone, a connection that makes you feel truly alive, like you actually exist, like you matter.

Sex is a necessary and VITAL component of intimacy, at least in my world. It's the bond that keeps the connection strong. We humans need to touch and be touched. For God's sake, it's called a sex drive for a reason. But while it is necessary, it's hardly sufficient. You need that other part - the emotional connection - for a truly intimate relationship to thrive. Personally, I think these relationships are unicorns, but God bless those who have (or believe they have) found one. But for the most part I think we're all just kind of doomed to a life of never really finding that connection, or worse, finding it when it's too late. Of settling. Of finding ways to get through, and coming to terms with our choices. Crushed under the weight of everyday life.

Kind of lost.

Well stated. Thank you