Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ultimate "Guys can't win" posting.

If we provide too much attention or hit on the wrong women, we are ass****s who objectify women. If we treat them with respect and intelligence and do not hit on them, we get this.

How about you try turning the tables and you open conversation with the guys you find attractive and let them know that you find them so. Most of my single friends no longer hit on women. They will talk to a lot of people at events that they attend, and only "hit" on women after they've talked to them and know them and invite them for a drink. Or they look for matching sites to meet women. It's too dangerous now to play the game anymore.

Women just shouldn't be unecessarily bitchy. I get hit on a lot and I'm still nice. No reason to act like an ass. It has served me well. Ran into a guy in business who had randomly engaged me in conversation at a bar. We had a nice talk, but I was not into him. Turned out I ended up needing his help down the line. So glad that when we met in a conference room he did not associate me with a negative experience.

Anonymous wrote:Without knowing more, I would say perhaps a lack of confidence. I say that because I have noticed when I have bad days and am moody, people stay away from me. When I am my usual jovial self, people talk to me more. Your body language may be doing something without you realizing it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or you arent as cute as you think you are

I don't think I'm super attractive but I'm not a troll. My friend isn't super attractive in the face but she has a huge ass.

1) You sound like a dick.

2) If you have a boyfriend, why do you feel the need to be an attention whore?

Anonymous wrote:I am a normal looking 28 year old woman. I'm not fat and do my hair and makeup most days. How come I never get checked out?
My friend however has guys flocking to her all the time.

Why?

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty but I think I just give off this vibe of not being interested. Also I'm married and so my rings and my children tagging along behind me probably decrease my likelihoods of getting hit on. It happens very rarely though I can usually tell when a guy checks me out. However, a few years ago, I was in line at Giant and a guy in the next line over kept looking over at me. It was very obvious and made me a bit uncomfortable. I walked out to my car when I was done and his happened to be on the way to mine. I passed him loading his groceries in and he said "I just want to say, you are one of the most stunningly beautiful women I have ever seen in real life. I'm sure you noticed I couldn't stop staring, but it was distracting really. Anyway, I noticed you're married, so don't tell your husband I said this, or maybe do, but I just wanted to tell you." I wouldn't say he was hitting on me since he knew nothing was coming out of it but it was very nice and really flattering. I think if men are going to hit on a woman, they should do it like that. He was very kind and sincere and not at all sleezy.

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty but I think I just give off this vibe of not being interested. Also I'm married and so my rings and my children tagging along behind me probably decrease my likelihoods of getting hit on. It happens very rarely though I can usually tell when a guy checks me out. However, a few years ago, I was in line at Giant and a guy in the next line over kept looking over at me. It was very obvious and made me a bit uncomfortable. I walked out to my car when I was done and his happened to be on the way to mine. I passed him loading his groceries in and he said "I just want to say, you are one of the most stunningly beautiful women I have ever seen in real life. I'm sure you noticed I couldn't stop staring, but it was distracting really. Anyway, I noticed you're married, so don't tell your husband I said this, or maybe do, but I just wanted to tell you." I wouldn't say he was hitting on me since he knew nothing was coming out of it but it was very nice and really flattering. I think if men are going to hit on a woman, they should do it like that. He was very kind and sincere and not at all sleezy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty but I think I just give off this vibe of not being interested. Also I'm married and so my rings and my children tagging along behind me probably decrease my likelihoods of getting hit on. It happens very rarely though I can usually tell when a guy checks me out. However, a few years ago, I was in line at Giant and a guy in the next line over kept looking over at me. It was very obvious and made me a bit uncomfortable. I walked out to my car when I was done and his happened to be on the way to mine. I passed him loading his groceries in and he said "I just want to say, you are one of the most stunningly beautiful women I have ever seen in real life. I'm sure you noticed I couldn't stop staring, but it was distracting really. Anyway, I noticed you're married, so don't tell your husband I said this, or maybe do, but I just wanted to tell you." I wouldn't say he was hitting on me since he knew nothing was coming out of it but it was very nice and really flattering. I think if men are going to hit on a woman, they should do it like that. He was very kind and sincere and not at all sleezy.

OMG. I had a guy say exactly the same thing to me outside of a Giant in Annandale - back in '88 (I'm not kidding). I was walking along the sidewalk at the front of the store and he came rushing up to me out of nowhere with that line - "You're so beautiful!" I was a little taken aback and laughed and told him thanks but that I was engaged. We both went into Giant. I found what I needed and went to pay for it. Next thing I knew he was standing behind me "That's a beautiful engagement ring you have. Your fiance is a lucky man". Well, o.k.!

I half expected him to follow me to my car but he didn't. Is this a LINE that some group of guys use to pick up women?

Cogiteur wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a normal looking 28 year old woman. I'm not fat and do my hair and makeup most days. How come I never get checked out?
My friend however has guys flocking to her all the time.

Why?

I think you're talking about two different things here, OP. There's getting checked out, and then there's guys flocking to you (i.e. getting hit on).

Like other PPs have pointed out, you may very well be getting checked out, but are simply unaware of it. I would say this surely is the case. My suggestion? Invest in a pair of dark sunglasses, the kind that completely conceal your eyes, then keep your head up and take a look around. I guarantee it will be like strapping on a mask and going scuba diving for the first time. Suddenly a whole new world will appear before you. Mine work like a charm. (Women, btw, are truly masters of the stealth check out. It really is an art form.)

Having guys hit on you is an entirely different matter. What do you actually consider a hit? I was at the grocery store the other day and noticed a very attractive woman. We kept running into each other in the aisles, and I smiled politely once or twice - nothing dramatic. We ended up walking out at the same time, and as we were parting ways I said, in as nonthreatening, noncreepy a way as I could, "That's a beautiful dress." (Note: When a man tells you your dress is beautiful, it means he thinks you are beautiful.) There was no expectation of anything, no pressure for her to even respond. She said "Thanks," and smiled at me, and then went on her way. Did I hit on her? Did she think I hit on her? I think it depends on your definition. I wanted to connect with a beautiful woman for one moment, and I did. I didn't buy her a drink, or ask her if she just fell from heaven. But I thought she was beautiful, and I wanted to tell her, and if instead of "Thanks," and walking away, she'd stopped and said, "Thanks, you just made my day," well, then who knows ...

I think sometimes a hit masquerades as something else - a compliment, praise. Or maybe it's nothing. That's the game.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty but I think I just give off this vibe of not being interested. Also I'm married and so my rings and my children tagging along behind me probably decrease my likelihoods of getting hit on. It happens very rarely though I can usually tell when a guy checks me out. However, a few years ago, I was in line at Giant and a guy in the next line over kept looking over at me. It was very obvious and made me a bit uncomfortable. I walked out to my car when I was done and his happened to be on the way to mine. I passed him loading his groceries in and he said "I just want to say, you are one of the most stunningly beautiful women I have ever seen in real life. I'm sure you noticed I couldn't stop staring, but it was distracting really. Anyway, I noticed you're married, so don't tell your husband I said this, or maybe do, but I just wanted to tell you." I wouldn't say he was hitting on me since he knew nothing was coming out of it but it was very nice and really flattering. I think if men are going to hit on a woman, they should do it like that. He was very kind and sincere and not at all sleezy.

OMG. I had a guy say exactly the same thing to me outside of a Giant in Annandale - back in '88 (I'm not kidding). I was walking along the sidewalk at the front of the store and he came rushing up to me out of nowhere with that line - "You're so beautiful!" I was a little taken aback and laughed and told him thanks but that I was engaged. We both went into Giant. I found what I needed and went to pay for it. Next thing I knew he was standing behind me "That's a beautiful engagement ring you have. Your fiance is a lucky man". Well, o.k.!

I half expected him to follow me to my car but he didn't. Is this a LINE that some group of guys use to pick up women?

Anonymous wrote:When I was 28, I wore 5 inch heels with tight shirts, push up bras and always did my hair. I got hit on constantly.