Are you obligated to inform your spouse about plans to change your appearance?

[Anonymous]

I don't mean asking for permission. I mean telling them you are thinking about making a change to your appearance. Is it okay to just show up with a change? By change in appearance, I'm thinking of things like a haircut, changing the color of your hair, going bald, or getting a piercing or a tattoo.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you're obligated to do so, but other than haircut or color, I think you've probably got a strange marriage if you wouldn't talk to your spouse about what you're thinking of doing. If you come home with a piercing or tattoo or new bald head with no thinking about it and talking about it beforehand, either you're very impulsive or you're trying to shock your spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't mean asking for permission. I mean telling them you are thinking about making a change to your appearance. Is it okay to just show up with a change? By change in appearance, I'm thinking of things like a haircut, changing the color of your hair, going bald, or getting a piercing or a tattoo.

Haircut and color change - no problem! Going bald, tattoos etc big problem.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you planning to join a motorcycle gang?

[Anonymous]

OP's husband shaved his head and got a tattoo in the midst of a mid-life criss, obviously. She's embarrassed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP's husband shaved his head and got a tattoo in the midst of a mid-life criss, obviously. She's embarrassed.

This post made me laugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP's husband shaved his head and got a tattoo in the midst of a mid-life criss, obviously. She's embarrassed.

No if that was the case she wouldn’t care about any of those changes. She would be here complaining about his new arm candy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't mean asking for permission. I mean telling them you are thinking about making a change to your appearance. Is it okay to just show up with a change? By change in appearance, I'm thinking of things like a haircut, changing the color of your hair, going bald, or getting a piercing or a tattoo.

Yes on tattoo. Those things spread. It takes a few year but you will be covered with tats if you get a small one. Facebook says they can spread to other people by close contact.

[Anonymous]

I would mention a permanent change to DH - like a tattoo or surgery. I would even mention something one level smaller like a piercing or injections in the face. But no, I don't tell him before a haircut. Well, I might mention I have an appointment at the salon but i haven't warned him I'm going to cut my waist length hair into a lob.

[Anonymous]

Eh. I can see *not* telling your spouse about a tattoo if you really wanted one but they were very judgmental of tattoos.

Now, what happened with my xH - he spent weeks planning a tattoo, visiting different artists, figuring out exactly what he wanted, etc. I went with him for about an hour of the first session then had to leave. He came home FURIOUS that I had allowed him to get this tattoo, because he immediately hated it, and somehow that was all my fault. Like I should have magically known he would think it looked stupid once it was permanent.

So I guess I would want my spouse to tell me so I could talk them out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh. I can see *not* telling your spouse about a tattoo if you really wanted one but they were very judgmental of tattoos.

Now, what happened with my xH - he spent weeks planning a tattoo, visiting different artists, figuring out exactly what he wanted, etc. I went with him for about an hour of the first session then had to leave. He came home FURIOUS that I had allowed him to get this tattoo, because he immediately hated it, and somehow that was all my fault. Like I should have magically known he would think it looked stupid once it was permanent.

So I guess I would want my spouse to tell me so I could talk them out of it.

Ha! HahHa!

[Anonymous]

Something permanent, like a piercing or a tattoo? Yes.

A new hairstyle or color? It might be nice to tell them if it's drastically different, but it will grow back or change eventually anyhow.

[Anonymous]

Obligated...no. But I honestly can't picture dh or I doing any of those things without telling the other person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh. I can see *not* telling your spouse about a tattoo if you really wanted one but they were very judgmental of tattoos.

Now, what happened with my xH - he spent weeks planning a tattoo, visiting different artists, figuring out exactly what he wanted, etc. I went with him for about an hour of the first session then had to leave. He came home FURIOUS that I had allowed him to get this tattoo, because he immediately hated it, and somehow that was all my fault. Like I should have magically known he would think it looked stupid once it was permanent.

So I guess I would want my spouse to tell me so I could talk them out of it.

I understand why you're divorced from him.

[Anonymous]

I absolutely think you need to discuss a tattoo with a partner. I would be upset if my partner got one because they can spread HIV, hepatitis, etc. I would demand testing, condom usage, etc.