Ivies vs. Top 20 schools (after listening to many a podcast on the subject)

[Anonymous]

So I've been listening to a lot of podcasts about college admissions (mostly Inside the Admissions Office) and after listening to some of the instagram episodes Dean J from UVA, it really jumps out at me how different schools like Ivies look at candidates vs. schools like UVA.

Obviously, the Ivies are amazing. And anyone would be extremely lucky to go there. But listening to some of the Admissions Officers from the top schools on Inside the Admissions Office is really just so different from the way Dean J speaks. The admissions officers from the tippy top schools expect *so much* from the kids (obviously) to the point where listening just made me exhausted. They're talking about filling the entire awards section (with state and national and even international awards preferably) and running your own business or nonprofit and the importance of showing a passion and making a major contribution in that passion, etc. Whereas Dean J is always saying that they know that they're dealing with teenagers who are 17 and have school work to focus on and like to hang out with their friends on the weekend and maybe don't really have a passion yet or are allowed to change their mind if they do something for a year and then decide they don't like it.

And of course it makes sense! It almost made me feel better - the Ivies *should* be for the tippy top students. Why do we want our kids breaking their back to be perfect teenagers unless they truly are superstars? Schools like UVA are still great and doesn't mean you've failed at anything, it just means that you were a normal teenager and they understand and even encourage this. Does anyone else feel the same way?

[Anonymous]

In many cases, parents have bulldozed the "achievements" of the successful applicants to the Ivies. There are very few kids who actually start their own non-profits/businesses on their own, like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In many cases, parents have bulldozed the "achievements" of the successful applicants to the Ivies. There are very few kids who actually start their own non-profits/businesses on their own, like that.

And those nonprofits are so frequently not about helping out -- there are plenty of organizations where a compassionate teenager could volunteer if they really wanted to be useful. A couple of years doing something that is probably being done elsewhere and that ends when you leave for college? That was about ego, not contribution.

[Anonymous]

I had no idea there were college admissions podcasts. I have a rising second year college student and a rising 12th grader. My kids don’t stand a chance with the level of parental involvement in the process that happens around here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had no idea there were college admissions podcasts. I have a rising second year college student and a rising 12th grader. My kids don’t stand a chance with the level of parental involvement in the process that happens around here.

OP here - they absolutely will! There are so many colleges out there where kids can thrive And honestly, after listening to them, I wouldn't really recommend it. Inside the Admissions Office was interesting but some things they said really turned me off. For example, for one of the episodes they had a woman on who does interviews for Harvard. She was going on and on about how students interviewing should do their upmost to make the interviewer happy and comfortable because the point of the interviews is to keep alums involved at the school... okay. I get that interviewees should act appropriately but why is it my kid's job to make the interviewer feel good about the interview just so they keep giving money to a school that's probably going to reject my kid anyway? She also said how turned off she was by a kid who quoted his hockey coach a few times because "not everyone is into sports." Way to give a kid a chance.

[Anonymous]

AMEN to this:
"In many cases, parents have bulldozed the "achievements" of the successful applicants to the Ivies. There are very few kids who actually start their own non-profits/businesses on their own, like that."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had no idea there were college admissions podcasts. I have a rising second year college student and a rising 12th grader. My kids don’t stand a chance with the level of parental involvement in the process that happens around here.

OP here - they absolutely will! There are so many colleges out there where kids can thrive And honestly, after listening to them, I wouldn't really recommend it. Inside the Admissions Office was interesting but some things they said really turned me off. For example, for one of the episodes they had a woman on who does interviews for Harvard. She was going on and on about how students interviewing should do their upmost to make the interviewer happy and comfortable because the point of the interviews is to keep alums involved at the school... okay. I get that interviewees should act appropriately but why is it my kid's job to make the interviewer feel good about the interview just so they keep giving money to a school that's probably going to reject my kid anyway? She also said how turned off she was by a kid who quoted his hockey coach a few times because "not everyone is into sports." Way to give a kid a chance.

I cringe whenever a poster writes "well, I interview for my Ivy and . . . "

They're doing it because they define themselves by the college they attended. It's the equivalent of peaking in high school and never getting over it. And even they understand completely that their interview will have little or no impact on the admissions decision. It's all about them and their egos, not the appliucant.

Pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I've been listening to a lot of podcasts about college admissions (mostly Inside the Admissions Office) and after listening to some of the instagram episodes Dean J from UVA, it really jumps out at me how different schools like Ivies look at candidates vs. schools like UVA.

Obviously, the Ivies are amazing. And anyone would be extremely lucky to go there. But listening to some of the Admissions Officers from the top schools on Inside the Admissions Office is really just so different from the way Dean J speaks. The admissions officers from the tippy top schools expect *so much* from the kids (obviously) to the point where listening just made me exhausted. They're talking about filling the entire awards section (with state and national and even international awards preferably) and running your own business or nonprofit and the importance of showing a passion and making a major contribution in that passion, etc. Whereas Dean J is always saying that they know that they're dealing with teenagers who are 17 and have school work to focus on and like to hang out with their friends on the weekend and maybe don't really have a passion yet or are allowed to change their mind if they do something for a year and then decide they don't like it.

And of course it makes sense! It almost made me feel better - the Ivies *should* be for the tippy top students. Why do we want our kids breaking their back to be perfect teenagers unless they truly are superstars? Schools like UVA are still great and doesn't mean you've failed at anything, it just means that you were a normal teenager and they understand and even encourage this. Does anyone else feel the same way?

You realize that UVA only accepts 1 in 5 applicants and that virtually all of the admits have outstanding high schools records, right? I don't think anyone considers it a failure to "only" get into UVA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I've been listening to a lot of podcasts about college admissions (mostly Inside the Admissions Office) and after listening to some of the instagram episodes Dean J from UVA, it really jumps out at me how different schools like Ivies look at candidates vs. schools like UVA.

Obviously, the Ivies are amazing. And anyone would be extremely lucky to go there. But listening to some of the Admissions Officers from the top schools on Inside the Admissions Office is really just so different from the way Dean J speaks. The admissions officers from the tippy top schools expect *so much* from the kids (obviously) to the point where listening just made me exhausted. They're talking about filling the entire awards section (with state and national and even international awards preferably) and running your own business or nonprofit and the importance of showing a passion and making a major contribution in that passion, etc. Whereas Dean J is always saying that they know that they're dealing with teenagers who are 17 and have school work to focus on and like to hang out with their friends on the weekend and maybe don't really have a passion yet or are allowed to change their mind if they do something for a year and then decide they don't like it.

And of course it makes sense! It almost made me feel better - the Ivies *should* be for the tippy top students. Why do we want our kids breaking their back to be perfect teenagers unless they truly are superstars? Schools like UVA are still great and doesn't mean you've failed at anything, it just means that you were a normal teenager and they understand and even encourage this. Does anyone else feel the same way?

You realize that UVA only accepts 1 in 5 applicants and that virtually all of the admits have outstanding high schools records, right? I don't think anyone considers it a failure to "only" get into UVA.

Oh of course!! I totally worded that wrong anyway. I thought it was interesting *because* it’s such a competitive school but they still seem to want to see teenagers being teenagers (even though it’s a subset of teenagers who are incredibly smart and motivated). I shouldn’t have said ‘failed’ at all.

[Anonymous]

The thread only provides further evidence of how Ivy-obsessed many of you are, even when it manifests itself as resentment or envy. If you don’t think the Ivies are all that, pay less attention to them. State universities have a different mission.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had no idea there were college admissions podcasts. I have a rising second year college student and a rising 12th grader. My kids don’t stand a chance with the level of parental involvement in the process that happens around here.

OP here - they absolutely will! There are so many colleges out there where kids can thrive And honestly, after listening to them, I wouldn't really recommend it. Inside the Admissions Office was interesting but some things they said really turned me off. For example, for one of the episodes they had a woman on who does interviews for Harvard. She was going on and on about how students interviewing should do their upmost to make the interviewer happy and comfortable because the point of the interviews is to keep alums involved at the school... okay. I get that interviewees should act appropriately but why is it my kid's job to make the interviewer feel good about the interview just so they keep giving money to a school that's probably going to reject my kid anyway? She also said how turned off she was by a kid who quoted his hockey coach a few times because "not everyone is into sports." Way to give a kid a chance.

I cringe whenever a poster writes "well, I interview for my Ivy and . . . "

They're doing it because they define themselves by the college they attended. It's the equivalent of peaking in high school and never getting over it. And even they understand completely that their interview will have little or no impact on the admissions decision. It's all about them and their egos, not the appliucant.

Pathetic.

Not an Ivy but I do interviews for my college and I do it because I love my school. I don’t have any illusions that I’m a meaningful part of the process, I just want to help kids learn about the place. Take a step back and try not to be so judgmental. Do you react to everything in your life so negatively? Yeesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thread only provides further evidence of how Ivy-obsessed many of you are, even when it manifests itself as resentment or envy. If you don’t think the Ivies are all that, pay less attention to them. State universities have a different mission.

Just wanted to share something interesting and start a conversation I would be thrilled if my kids got into an Ivy, obviously, but I also think it's okay to talk about expectations and pressure. You're free to think differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had no idea there were college admissions podcasts. I have a rising second year college student and a rising 12th grader. My kids don’t stand a chance with the level of parental involvement in the process that happens around here.

OP here - they absolutely will! There are so many colleges out there where kids can thrive And honestly, after listening to them, I wouldn't really recommend it. Inside the Admissions Office was interesting but some things they said really turned me off. For example, for one of the episodes they had a woman on who does interviews for Harvard. She was going on and on about how students interviewing should do their upmost to make the interviewer happy and comfortable because the point of the interviews is to keep alums involved at the school... okay. I get that interviewees should act appropriately but why is it my kid's job to make the interviewer feel good about the interview just so they keep giving money to a school that's probably going to reject my kid anyway? She also said how turned off she was by a kid who quoted his hockey coach a few times because "not everyone is into sports." Way to give a kid a chance.

I cringe whenever a poster writes "well, I interview for my Ivy and . . . "

They're doing it because they define themselves by the college they attended. It's the equivalent of peaking in high school and never getting over it. And even they understand completely that their interview will have little or no impact on the admissions decision. It's all about them and their egos, not the appliucant.

Pathetic.

Not an Ivy but I do interviews for my college and I do it because I love my school. I don’t have any illusions that I’m a meaningful part of the process, I just want to help kids learn about the place. Take a step back and try not to be so judgmental. Do you react to everything in your life so negatively? Yeesh.

As one annoying poster would respond, with the cliche of the century: you do you. I guess.

But I think it's kinda weird that adults define themselves by the college they attended, not recognizing the reality that colleges are largely interchangeable and "loving" the one that you ended up attending doesn't make the school unique. You probably would have "loved" another one too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thread only provides further evidence of how Ivy-obsessed many of you are, even when it manifests itself as resentment or envy. If you don’t think the Ivies are all that, pay less attention to them. State universities have a different mission.

Just wanted to share something interesting and start a conversation I would be thrilled if my kids got into an Ivy, obviously, but I also think it's okay to talk about expectations and pressure. You're free to think differently.

You're contradicting yourself. You started this thread by bashing how the Ivies select their applicants and casting aspersions on the schools. Now you're saying you'd be "thrilled" if your kids got into one. Which is it, OP?

[Anonymous]

When I was a kid I thought college choice was incredibly important but as an adult I realize it really wasn't. What you do when you get there matters more. At my job we have someone who went to Yale and someone who went to Florida State. Same job.