Anyone else replay and over analyze social situations?

[Anonymous]

I can't help but replay conversations or social interactions over and over again looking for things I said/did wrong.
Was I too negative, did I smile enough, did I ask enough questions about them.
I went out with a group of friends/acquaintances last night and now am stuck in a feeling of dread I said/did something to offend someone.
It is always like this with me. I LOVE going out with people but my anxiety comes after the interaction. WHYYYYYYYY.

[Anonymous]

I am so like this. All the time.

[Anonymous]

I am the most neurotic person ever born so yes, I do this in social situations and at work.

[Anonymous]

Are you a perfectionist and does that carry over into your social interactions?

[Anonymous]

I am a bit of a perfectionist and do this with friends and acquaintances but not family.
it sometimes takes a month to get a social interaction from replaying. I don't know why I am convinced I say/do something wrong. Up to this point I am able to maintain friendships and enjoy hanging out with people. It is just so paralyzing afterwards that I hate that feeling.

[Anonymous]

Yes. This is anxiety. Alcohol also made it a lot worse for me.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes. I just write it down (work stuff to include next time) or talk to a friend (personal stuff).

[Anonymous]

Yes, I do this too. Part of the reason is that my parents would be really critical of me as a child, especially in social situations. We'd go out and I'd have a good time (I was pretty cheerful as a kid.) Then we'd get home and they'd tell me all the social mistakes I made. I ended up thinking I must have been very socially awkward, which only made me more socially awkward. Once I got to college, I realized they were wrong about me and that their behavior came from anxiety.
It's still hard to break the habit or replaying what I did socially after the fact, but I'm trying really hard not to be overly critical of my children.

[Anonymous]

Yes, me, and it's anxiety. You can rid yourself of it with some combination of therapy, meds, meditation, mindfulness, and exercise. Therapy was absolutely key for me. My therapist educated me about the neuroscience of anxiety as well as gave me exercises to understand what triggers my anxiety and different ways to manage it.

While I may never be 100% free of it, life without continually ruminating about past and future social interactions is lovely.

[Anonymous]

I may need to start therapy again. I didn't realize it, but i think it is worse after COVID and not seeing people for so long. It is like i want every interaction to be perfect. I feel great in the moment/social activity but dang, afterward I am almost in tears. I can't sleep because i just replay what i said, what i should have said etc. It gets so bad I can't even remember what i actually DID say and different scenarios I play in my mind.
I started to get bad after getting married. My MIL picks apart everything and would complain to DH about something I said/did while visiting or at a family function and DH would tell me (more just conversation or like 'can you believe her?" but i really really took it personally and started to second guess everything I said/did there. I get anxiety even thinking about visiting them and I think that is flowing over into other interactions now, which i hate.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes. I was doing this a lot in the spring when I really started being social as covid rates got low in my area. For me, it's a sign that my anxiety is high and cognitive exercises do help.

[Anonymous]

This is anxiety. Specifically, it's rumination. Therapy & meds help.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I do this too.

All. the. time. 🤨

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is anxiety. Specifically, it's rumination. Therapy & meds help.

+1

You don’t all have to live like this.

[Anonymous]

I do it and then choose not to socialize because of it. Just anxious at the thought of socializing these days