Divorced: Dad wont let teens get vaccinated, but insists on in person school. Divorce

[Anonymous]

Hi All,

I have primary physical custody, Dad has joint medical decision powers. Dad is unfortunately dealing with some addiction/rage issues and is not well/is frequently full of rage and unable to make decisions in the kids best interests in his eagerness to "stick it to" me.

He is vaccinated against covid.
I am vaccinated against covid.
Kids are fully vaccinated.
He took kids to get flu shot a year ago without asking permission.


Father is insisting that children not be vaccinated. He is also insisting that kids go in person, saying he will take me to court if I try to do remote school OR if I allow them to be vaccinated.

Had anyone else been in this situation? Kids are 14 and 15, they have requested to be vaccinated. My stats mandates parental approval, so though they can go get BCP or STD tests, they cannot get a vaccination without parental permission. I very much want them in person, but I am afraid of the no distancing and no mask rules in place where I live. I dont feel safe putting an unvaccinated child into that environment.

Has anyone experienced similar, or do you have any advice for me? Our pediatrician recommends it, as does the CDC. He says "in his medical opinion" we should wait a year. He is a salesman, for what its worth.

[Anonymous]

You take them today to get them vaccinated, as you should have done MONTHS ago. End of story. No way he's taking you to court for that, and if he did, he'd get laughed out and that would cost him.

[Anonymous]

Can you just provide the parental permission needed and get them vaccinated? I'd do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you just provide the parental permission needed and get them vaccinated? I'd do that.

Technically since medical is joint and I am aware of his objection I will be in contempt should I do so. He uses the court system lavishly and already has pressed multiple contempt cases. The last one cost me $10K before he dropped it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You take them today to get them vaccinated, as you should have done MONTHS ago. End of story. No way he's taking you to court for that, and if he did, he'd get laughed out and that would cost him.

Why do you think that the court would laugh about me consenting to a medical procedure that my ex has stated he will not approve of, knowing we legally have joint medical decision making?

[Anonymous]

He is vaccinated against covid.
I am vaccinated against covid.
Kids are fully vaccinated.

If kids are fully vaccinated, what's the problem? That contradicts the title of your post. Either they are or are not fully vaccinated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is vaccinated against covid.
I am vaccinated against covid.
Kids are fully vaccinated.

If kids are fully vaccinated, what's the problem? That contradicts the title of your post. Either they are or are not fully vaccinated.

Yes, my apologies. I meant that to date, the kids have received all of their recommended vaccinations on time. He is now objecting/refusing to allow the COVID vax, and will not provide reasons why. He and I both got our covid vaccinations as soon as we could, and I had an appointment scheduled for the kids for last week. When I alerted him on our parenting platform, he alerted me of his refusal. Now that is is part of our record (he is court ordered to use civil communicator), I am afraid to go get it "anyway".

[Anonymous]

Maybe the OP means the baby/toddler vaccinations?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You take them today to get them vaccinated, as you should have done MONTHS ago. End of story. No way he's taking you to court for that, and if he did, he'd get laughed out and that would cost him.

Why do you think that the court would laugh about me consenting to a medical procedure that my ex has stated he will not approve of, knowing we legally have joint medical decision making?

Because he's putting their health in danger. I would get them the vaccine. If you guys are too chicken, then just don't tell him, since he never wants to vaccinate them. Your teens are old enough to understand their father is crazy and keep that secret, I hope. My kids have a crazy father and they know what not to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is vaccinated against covid.
I am vaccinated against covid.
Kids are fully vaccinated.

If kids are fully vaccinated, what's the problem? That contradicts the title of your post. Either they are or are not fully vaccinated.

Yes, my apologies. I meant that to date, the kids have received all of their recommended vaccinations on time. He is now objecting/refusing to allow the COVID vax, and will not provide reasons why. He and I both got our covid vaccinations as soon as we could, and I had an appointment scheduled for the kids for last week. When I alerted him on our parenting platform, he alerted me of his refusal. Now that is is part of our record (he is court ordered to use civil communicator), I am afraid to go get it "anyway".

Oh! Glad you clarified - just file a motion with the court saying he's on drugs or whatever, and not in a mental state to be making medical decisions about minor children at this time and would the court sign off on your wanting to get them the Covid vaccine? And also include in that filing that you want sole medical custody until he has had three consecutive months of clean drug tests. Ask your lawyer to file it on an emergency basis so your kids can get vax'd sooner rather than later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you just provide the parental permission needed and get them vaccinated? I'd do that.

Technically since medical is joint and I am aware of his objection I will be in contempt should I do so. He uses the court system lavishly and already has pressed multiple contempt cases. The last one cost me $10K before he dropped it.

That is bad. Normally I would say take the kids anyway, and come what may, but if you haven't already consulted your lawyer, you should do so, as the caselaw on COVID vaccination is evolving.

[Anonymous]

If he took the kids to get a flu shot without permission, is there any way you could ask the kids?

If the kids want to be vaccinated, and they are willing to keep their mouths shut to prevent you from being dragged to court, why not go ahead and vaccinate with the knowledge that they need never to bring up the topic with their dad again?

Do they want to go to school in person without being vaccinated?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is vaccinated against covid.
I am vaccinated against covid.
Kids are fully vaccinated.

If kids are fully vaccinated, what's the problem? That contradicts the title of your post. Either they are or are not fully vaccinated.

Yes, my apologies. I meant that to date, the kids have received all of their recommended vaccinations on time. He is now objecting/refusing to allow the COVID vax, and will not provide reasons why. He and I both got our covid vaccinations as soon as we could, and I had an appointment scheduled for the kids for last week. When I alerted him on our parenting platform, he alerted me of his refusal. Now that is is part of our record (he is court ordered to use civil communicator), I am afraid to go get it "anyway".

Oh! Glad you clarified - just file a motion with the court saying he's on drugs or whatever, and not in a mental state to be making medical decisions about minor children at this time and would the court sign off on your wanting to get them the Covid vaccine? And also include in that filing that you want sole medical custody until he has had three consecutive months of clean drug tests. Ask your lawyer to file it on an emergency basis so your kids can get vax'd sooner rather than later.

That sounds good. If OP can prove he's on drugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is vaccinated against covid.
I am vaccinated against covid.
Kids are fully vaccinated.

If kids are fully vaccinated, what's the problem? That contradicts the title of your post. Either they are or are not fully vaccinated.

Yes, my apologies. I meant that to date, the kids have received all of their recommended vaccinations on time. He is now objecting/refusing to allow the COVID vax, and will not provide reasons why. He and I both got our covid vaccinations as soon as we could, and I had an appointment scheduled for the kids for last week. When I alerted him on our parenting platform, he alerted me of his refusal. Now that is is part of our record (he is court ordered to use civil communicator), I am afraid to go get it "anyway".

Oh! Glad you clarified - just file a motion with the court saying he's on drugs or whatever, and not in a mental state to be making medical decisions about minor children at this time and would the court sign off on your wanting to get them the Covid vaccine? And also include in that filing that you want sole medical custody until he has had three consecutive months of clean drug tests. Ask your lawyer to file it on an emergency basis so your kids can get vax'd sooner rather than later.

That sounds good. If OP can prove he's on drugs.

You gotta be smoking SOMETHING to go along in life letting your kids get all their vaccines and then come to a screechilg halt on this one. Chicken pox doesn't kill you. Covid can.

[Anonymous]

When he took the kids to get a flu shot last year was that information shared on the parenting platform?

I think the other poster had a good suggestion, who said just a file a motion asking for permission.