Divorced: Dad wont let teens get vaccinated, but insists on in person school. Divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Update: PDMC rendered a decision that kids must be vaccinated and exH must take them.

She cited the facts I provided vs his “feelings” and made it an official ruling.

I appreciate the helpful posters so much!! And yes- PP I get your feeling and where your heart was at when you posted “just don’t talk to him”- but it’s not that easy. He is court ordered to have no contact with me outside of civil communicator, but with three kids in sports and traveling and school etc there are just issues you can’t refuse to talk about without facing repercussions. It’s all crap.

PP here - I am so sorry you are cut in this sucky situation. Glad the judge saw through his BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Update: PDMC rendered a decision that kids must be vaccinated and exH must take them.

She cited the facts I provided vs his “feelings” and made it an official ruling.

I appreciate the helpful posters so much!! And yes- PP I get your feeling and where your heart was at when you posted “just don’t talk to him”- but it’s not that easy. He is court ordered to have no contact with me outside of civil communicator, but with three kids in sports and traveling and school etc there are just issues you can’t refuse to talk about without facing repercussions. It’s all crap.

DP who posted above about hating him on your behalf...sorry my thread didn't load completely so I didn't see this update. I'm so glad you got a decision, OP! The one worry is that the order says your ex must be the one to take them for the vaccinations. Do you trust that he will do so? MIght he take them for one shot but then "accidentally forget" to get the second shot, which is truly vital to being protected? I'm pleased there was a correct ruling but concerned that HE has to fulfill it. That seems to place an unspoken burden on the kids, too -- if they push dad to take them, is he going to be angry with them? Will they be willing to advocate for themselves to the point it might anger or upset him?

Yeah, i'm still hating on him over here. Such disregard for his own children's lives.

I agree with this last poster. Your kids will need to remind him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Update: PDMC rendered a decision that kids must be vaccinated and exH must take them.

She cited the facts I provided vs his “feelings” and made it an official ruling.

I appreciate the helpful posters so much!! And yes- PP I get your feeling and where your heart was at when you posted “just don’t talk to him”- but it’s not that easy. He is court ordered to have no contact with me outside of civil communicator, but with three kids in sports and traveling and school etc there are just issues you can’t refuse to talk about without facing repercussions. It’s all crap.

DP who posted above about hating him on your behalf...sorry my thread didn't load completely so I didn't see this update. I'm so glad you got a decision, OP! The one worry is that the order says your ex must be the one to take them for the vaccinations. Do you trust that he will do so? MIght he take them for one shot but then "accidentally forget" to get the second shot, which is truly vital to being protected? I'm pleased there was a correct ruling but concerned that HE has to fulfill it. That seems to place an unspoken burden on the kids, too -- if they push dad to take them, is he going to be angry with them? Will they be willing to advocate for themselves to the point it might anger or upset him?

Yeah, i'm still hating on him over here. Such disregard for his own children's lives.

I agree with this last poster. Your kids will need to remind him.

I wondered why the decision was rendered that way - for the father to take him. I wondered if he violates the decision if it would set you up to have his participation in medical decisions taken away. If he has a difference of opinion with you, that’s one thing, but a refusal to obey the decision of the legally or contractually obligated parenting coordinator is serious.

Stay on top of the vaccination and use any failure on his part to get his decision making authority removed if possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Update: PDMC rendered a decision that kids must be vaccinated and exH must take them.

She cited the facts I provided vs his “feelings” and made it an official ruling.

I appreciate the helpful posters so much!! And yes- PP I get your feeling and where your heart was at when you posted “just don’t talk to him”- but it’s not that easy. He is court ordered to have no contact with me outside of civil communicator, but with three kids in sports and traveling and school etc there are just issues you can’t refuse to talk about without facing repercussions. It’s all crap.

I have an ex who can be just as vindicative minus the money. That's the only reason he isn't running me back and forth to court. I'm so glad that you only have a few more years of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Update: PDMC rendered a decision that kids must be vaccinated and exH must take them.

She cited the facts I provided vs his “feelings” and made it an official ruling.

I appreciate the helpful posters so much!! And yes- PP I get your feeling and where your heart was at when you posted “just don’t talk to him”- but it’s not that easy. He is court ordered to have no contact with me outside of civil communicator, but with three kids in sports and traveling and school etc there are just issues you can’t refuse to talk about without facing repercussions. It’s all crap.

This has to be fake or you don't have custody. This makes zero sense that he has to take them to be vaccinated? As their mom, why wouldn't you take them to be vaccinated?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you just provide the parental permission needed and get them vaccinated? I'd do that.

Technically since medical is joint and I am aware of his objection I will be in contempt should I do so. He uses the court system lavishly and already has pressed multiple contempt cases. The last one cost me $10K before he dropped it.

This sounds like a stretch. You may want to check with your lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Update: PDMC rendered a decision that kids must be vaccinated and exH must take them.

She cited the facts I provided vs his “feelings” and made it an official ruling.

I appreciate the helpful posters so much!! And yes- PP I get your feeling and where your heart was at when you posted “just don’t talk to him”- but it’s not that easy. He is court ordered to have no contact with me outside of civil communicator, but with three kids in sports and traveling and school etc there are just issues you can’t refuse to talk about without facing repercussions. It’s all crap.

DP who posted above about hating him on your behalf...sorry my thread didn't load completely so I didn't see this update. I'm so glad you got a decision, OP! The one worry is that the order says your ex must be the one to take them for the vaccinations. Do you trust that he will do so? MIght he take them for one shot but then "accidentally forget" to get the second shot, which is truly vital to being protected? I'm pleased there was a correct ruling but concerned that HE has to fulfill it. That seems to place an unspoken burden on the kids, too -- if they push dad to take them, is he going to be angry with them? Will they be willing to advocate for themselves to the point it might anger or upset him?

Yeah, i'm still hating on him over here. Such disregard for his own children's lives.

I agree with this last poster. Your kids will need to remind him.

I wondered why the decision was rendered that way - for the father to take him. I wondered if he violates the decision if it would set you up to have his participation in medical decisions taken away. If he has a difference of opinion with you, that’s one thing, but a refusal to obey the decision of the legally or contractually obligated parenting coordinator is serious.

Stay on top of the vaccination and use any failure on his part to get his decision making authority removed if possible.

This is fake. If MOM has joint custody or primary custody, she would/should be the one taking them. If she wants the kids vaccinated, why is it his responsibility to take them? Why can't she?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Update: PDMC rendered a decision that kids must be vaccinated and exH must take them.

She cited the facts I provided vs his “feelings” and made it an official ruling.

I appreciate the helpful posters so much!! And yes- PP I get your feeling and where your heart was at when you posted “just don’t talk to him”- but it’s not that easy. He is court ordered to have no contact with me outside of civil communicator, but with three kids in sports and traveling and school etc there are just issues you can’t refuse to talk about without facing repercussions. It’s all crap.

DP who posted above about hating him on your behalf...sorry my thread didn't load completely so I didn't see this update. I'm so glad you got a decision, OP! The one worry is that the order says your ex must be the one to take them for the vaccinations. Do you trust that he will do so? MIght he take them for one shot but then "accidentally forget" to get the second shot, which is truly vital to being protected? I'm pleased there was a correct ruling but concerned that HE has to fulfill it. That seems to place an unspoken burden on the kids, too -- if they push dad to take them, is he going to be angry with them? Will they be willing to advocate for themselves to the point it might anger or upset him?

At least read the thread before you cry fake - all your Qs are andwered already. 🤦🏻‍♀️
Yeah, i'm still hating on him over here. Such disregard for his own children's lives.

I agree with this last poster. Your kids will need to remind him.

I wondered why the decision was rendered that way - for the father to take him. I wondered if he violates the decision if it would set you up to have his participation in medical decisions taken away. If he has a difference of opinion with you, that’s one thing, but a refusal to obey the decision of the legally or contractually obligated parenting coordinator is serious.

Stay on top of the vaccination and use any failure on his part to get his decision making authority removed if possible.

This is fake. If MOM has joint custody or primary custody, she would/should be the one taking them. If she wants the kids vaccinated, why is it his responsibility to take them? Why can't she?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Update: PDMC rendered a decision that kids must be vaccinated and exH must take them.

She cited the facts I provided vs his “feelings” and made it an official ruling.

Can he be trusted to do that?

[Anonymous]

For the international trip, aren't both parents required to sign off for a parent to take them out of the country? How can he take them out if you don't sign the documentation to agree?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi All,

I have primary physical custody, Dad has joint medical decision powers. Dad is unfortunately dealing with some addiction/rage issues and is not well/is frequently full of rage and unable to make decisions in the kids best interests in his eagerness to "stick it to" me.

He is vaccinated against covid.
I am vaccinated against covid.
Kids are fully vaccinated.
He took kids to get flu shot a year ago without asking permission.


Father is insisting that children not be vaccinated. He is also insisting that kids go in person, saying he will take me to court if I try to do remote school OR if I allow them to be vaccinated.

Had anyone else been in this situation? Kids are 14 and 15, they have requested to be vaccinated. My stats mandates parental approval, so though they can go get BCP or STD tests, they cannot get a vaccination without parental permission. I very much want them in person, but I am afraid of the no distancing and no mask rules in place where I live. I dont feel safe putting an unvaccinated child into that environment.

Has anyone experienced similar, or do you have any advice for me? Our pediatrician recommends it, as does the CDC. He says "in his medical opinion" we should wait a year. He is a salesman, for what its worth.

This is an "ask for forgiveness not permission " problem.
Go get them vaccinated.

[Anonymous]

Can you take them to CVS and tell the kids it's a flu shot but really get them covid shots?

[Anonymous]

Hugs, OP. If Covid happened 5 years earlier, I would be you - dealing with an ex who went bat$h!t crazy regarding all traditional medicine. My kids did not have immunizations until they turned 18. Don't do it behind your ex's back, do talk to a lawyer, it is a tough spot since he is well within his parental rights to decline the shots. Since your kids are now teenagers, it may end up them having the deciding vote. This is how it worked out for us when my daughter was 15 and needed a procedure that her father refused to allow. One parent for, one against - they asked the kid what she wanted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Update: PDMC rendered a decision that kids must be vaccinated and exH must take them.

She cited the facts I provided vs his “feelings” and made it an official ruling.

I appreciate the helpful posters so much!! And yes- PP I get your feeling and where your heart was at when you posted “just don’t talk to him”- but it’s not that easy. He is court ordered to have no contact with me outside of civil communicator, but with three kids in sports and traveling and school etc there are just issues you can’t refuse to talk about without facing repercussions. It’s all crap.

This has to be fake or you don't have custody. This makes zero sense that he has to take them to be vaccinated? As their mom, why wouldn't you take them to be vaccinated?

The decision was rendered on the 5th, his parenting time was the 6th and 7th and he was ordered to take him on those days.

They came back to me on the 8th unvaccinated. He’s in contempt, I’m filing for medical decision making as a result.

Following that stellar example of parenting his attorney notified mine they’re filing a motion to increase his custody time to 50/50. Good times. Not a troll. I took them on the 9th to be vaccinated

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP. The bright side is, I think he was given rope to hang himself with and he promptly did. I don't think the judge is going to look kindly on the contempt, especially when he also filed for more time.