Divorced: Dad wont let teens get vaccinated, but insists on in person school. Divorce

[Anonymous]

You all are missing an important piece of this. OP lives somewhere that doesn't plan on masks mitigation strategies in the school system. Assuming that's the prevailing view of her community, it's not a guarantee that a judge would agree with her on vaccines for teens.

Also, to the PP on chicken pox, how do you not know it killed 100+ kids a year and thousands were hospitalized before the vaccine?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You take them today to get them vaccinated, as you should have done MONTHS ago. End of story. No way he's taking you to court for that, and if he did, he'd get laughed out and that would cost him.

Why do you think that the court would laugh about me consenting to a medical procedure that my ex has stated he will not approve of, knowing we legally have joint medical decision making?

Because he's putting their health in danger. I would get them the vaccine. If you guys are too chicken, then just don't tell him, since he never wants to vaccinate them. Your teens are old enough to understand their father is crazy and keep that secret, I hope. My kids have a crazy father and they know what not to say.

Look, I'm crying over this whole thing and feeling utterly frustrated and powerless, but if it makes you feel better to call me names, have at it. The beauty of having been in an abusive marriage is that I have experienced much worse.

What if he was off doing the same? What if I took them then he "relents" and takes them? What if he still intends to go on the international travel that he has planned with the kids in October, and relents in September, do I confess then that I already did it? I'm trying to both respect my kids health, and to stay out of court as my ex has proven he will liberally use the courts to "punish" me.

If he is planning to take the kids out of the country in October won't they need to be vaccinated really soon? If they get Pfizer it is three weeks between the two shots then two weeks to be fully vaccinated. Maybe tell him he has to get them vaccinated to leave the country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:



If he is planning to take the kids out of the country in October won't they need to be vaccinated really soon? If they get Pfizer it is three weeks between the two shots then two weeks to be fully vaccinated. Maybe tell him he has to get them vaccinated to leave the country.

Not all countries require the vaccine; many only require a negative test.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:



If he is planning to take the kids out of the country in October won't they need to be vaccinated really soon? If they get Pfizer it is three weeks between the two shots then two weeks to be fully vaccinated. Maybe tell him he has to get them vaccinated to leave the country.

Not all countries require the vaccine; many only require a negative test.

I sent that info to the parenting coordinator today, basically stating that if he continues to maintain that they not be vaccinated I need the following:

*Agreement to remote school, with the request that the kids homeschool at their fathers home since he is insisting. I will pick them up every day after school, but as I have primary custody they are with me 4 of 5 school days. If he wants them home by HIS sole choice he can also be solely responsible for supervising them.
*Agree to no foreign travel till vaccinated
*I am claiming that to willfully disregard our Dr's recommendation for our kids with no precedence or basis is medical neglect, and that as such I should be granted sole medical decision making authority.

We will see. I doubt I will get #3 and sadly feel like the other two are at the whims of the PDMC's politics, which I dont know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:



If he is planning to take the kids out of the country in October won't they need to be vaccinated really soon? If they get Pfizer it is three weeks between the two shots then two weeks to be fully vaccinated. Maybe tell him he has to get them vaccinated to leave the country.

Not all countries require the vaccine; many only require a negative test.

I sent that info to the parenting coordinator today, basically stating that if he continues to maintain that they not be vaccinated I need the following:

*Agreement to remote school, with the request that the kids homeschool at their fathers home since he is insisting. I will pick them up every day after school, but as I have primary custody they are with me 4 of 5 school days. If he wants them home by HIS sole choice he can also be solely responsible for supervising them.
*Agree to no foreign travel till vaccinated
*I am claiming that to willfully disregard our Dr's recommendation for our kids with no precedence or basis is medical neglect, and that as such I should be granted sole medical decision making authority.

We will see. I doubt I will get #3 and sadly feel like the other two are at the whims of the PDMC's politics, which I dont know.

Take out #3. That's silly. It is not medical neglect not to get the covid vaccine but no foreign travel and he supervise remote school are both very reasonable. Have him transport one way to his house, you do the other way.

[Anonymous]

How many teens died from COVID in your city or county?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You take them today to get them vaccinated, as you should have done MONTHS ago. End of story. No way he's taking you to court for that, and if he did, he'd get laughed out and that would cost him.

Why do you think that the court would laugh about me consenting to a medical procedure that my ex has stated he will not approve of, knowing we legally have joint medical decision making?

Because he's putting their health in danger. I would get them the vaccine. If you guys are too chicken, then just don't tell him, since he never wants to vaccinate them. Your teens are old enough to understand their father is crazy and keep that secret, I hope. My kids have a crazy father and they know what not to say.

Look, I'm crying over this whole thing and feeling utterly frustrated and powerless, but if it makes you feel better to call me names, have at it. The beauty of having been in an abusive marriage is that I have experienced much worse.

What if he was off doing the same? What if I took them then he "relents" and takes them? What if he still intends to go on the international travel that he has planned with the kids in October, and relents in September, do I confess then that I already did it? I'm trying to both respect my kids health, and to stay out of court as my ex has proven he will liberally use the courts to "punish" me.

If he is planning to take the kids out of the country in October won't they need to be vaccinated really soon? If they get Pfizer it is three weeks between the two shots then two weeks to be fully vaccinated. Maybe tell him he has to get them vaccinated to leave the country.

I would not allow ternational travel. Dont you have to agree to that??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:



If he is planning to take the kids out of the country in October won't they need to be vaccinated really soon? If they get Pfizer it is three weeks between the two shots then two weeks to be fully vaccinated. Maybe tell him he has to get them vaccinated to leave the country.

Not all countries require the vaccine; many only require a negative test.

I sent that info to the parenting coordinator today, basically stating that if he continues to maintain that they not be vaccinated I need the following:

*Agreement to remote school, with the request that the kids homeschool at their fathers home since he is insisting. I will pick them up every day after school, but as I have primary custody they are with me 4 of 5 school days. If he wants them home by HIS sole choice he can also be solely responsible for supervising them.
*Agree to no foreign travel till vaccinated
*I am claiming that to willfully disregard our Dr's recommendation for our kids with no precedence or basis is medical neglect, and that as such I should be granted sole medical decision making authority.

We will see. I doubt I will get #3 and sadly feel like the other two are at the whims of the PDMC's politics, which I dont know.

Take out #3. That's silly. It is not medical neglect not to get the covid vaccine but no foreign travel and he supervise remote school are both very reasonable. Have him transport one way to his house, you do the other way.

#3 is not silly at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you just provide the parental permission needed and get them vaccinated? I'd do that.

Technically since medical is joint and I am aware of his objection I will be in contempt should I do so. He uses the court system lavishly and already has pressed multiple contempt cases. The last one cost me $10K before he dropped it.

Ugh.. the courts should be kicking him out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You take them today to get them vaccinated, as you should have done MONTHS ago. End of story. No way he's taking you to court for that, and if he did, he'd get laughed out and that would cost him.

Why do you think that the court would laugh about me consenting to a medical procedure that my ex has stated he will not approve of, knowing we legally have joint medical decision making?

Because he's putting their health in danger. I would get them the vaccine. If you guys are too chicken, then just don't tell him, since he never wants to vaccinate them. Your teens are old enough to understand their father is crazy and keep that secret, I hope. My kids have a crazy father and they know what not to say.

How are they going to school in person AND traveling internationally in October?

Look, I'm crying over this whole thing and feeling utterly frustrated and powerless, but if it makes you feel better to call me names, have at it. The beauty of having been in an abusive marriage is that I have experienced much worse.

What if he was off doing the same? What if I took them then he "relents" and takes them? What if he still intends to go on the international travel that he has planned with the kids in October, and relents in September, do I confess then that I already did it? I'm trying to both respect my kids health, and to stay out of court as my ex has proven he will liberally use the courts to "punish" me.

If he is planning to take the kids out of the country in October won't they need to be vaccinated really soon? If they get Pfizer it is three weeks between the two shots then two weeks to be fully vaccinated. Maybe tell him he has to get them vaccinated to leave the country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You take them today to get them vaccinated, as you should have done MONTHS ago. End of story. No way he's taking you to court for that, and if he did, he'd get laughed out and that would cost him.

Why do you think that the court would laugh about me consenting to a medical procedure that my ex has stated he will not approve of, knowing we legally have joint medical decision making?

Because he's putting their health in danger. I would get them the vaccine. If you guys are too chicken, then just don't tell him, since he never wants to vaccinate them. Your teens are old enough to understand their father is crazy and keep that secret, I hope. My kids have a crazy father and they know what not to say.

Look, I'm crying over this whole thing and feeling utterly frustrated and powerless, but if it makes you feel better to call me names, have at it. The beauty of having been in an abusive marriage is that I have experienced much worse.

What if he was off doing the same? What if I took them then he "relents" and takes them? What if he still intends to go on the international travel that he has planned with the kids in October, and relents in September, do I confess then that I already did it? I'm trying to both respect my kids health, and to stay out of court as my ex has proven he will liberally use the courts to "punish" me.

If he is planning to take the kids out of the country in October won't they need to be vaccinated really soon? If they get Pfizer it is three weeks between the two shots then two weeks to be fully vaccinated. Maybe tell him he has to get them vaccinated to leave the country.

How are they going to school in person AND traveling internationally in October?

[Anonymous]

I am OP and we live in a state that has a week long fall break the second week of october. We also go back next week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You take them today to get them vaccinated, as you should have done MONTHS ago. End of story. No way he's taking you to court for that, and if he did, he'd get laughed out and that would cost him.

This. The end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:



If he is planning to take the kids out of the country in October won't they need to be vaccinated really soon? If they get Pfizer it is three weeks between the two shots then two weeks to be fully vaccinated. Maybe tell him he has to get them vaccinated to leave the country.

Not all countries require the vaccine; many only require a negative test.

I sent that info to the parenting coordinator today, basically stating that if he continues to maintain that they not be vaccinated I need the following:

*Agreement to remote school, with the request that the kids homeschool at their fathers home since he is insisting. I will pick them up every day after school, but as I have primary custody they are with me 4 of 5 school days. If he wants them home by HIS sole choice he can also be solely responsible for supervising them.
*Agree to no foreign travel till vaccinated
*I am claiming that to willfully disregard our Dr's recommendation for our kids with no precedence or basis is medical neglect, and that as such I should be granted sole medical decision making authority.

We will see. I doubt I will get #3 and sadly feel like the other two are at the whims of the PDMC's politics, which I dont know.

Wow #1 seems mean to do to the kids just so you can spite your ex. And yeah on the person the receiving end is going to have similar thoughts. It was a mistake to send this bc it is an overly emotional letter that doesn’t lay out any reasonable requests with the exception of the 2nd one that had some basis in fact. Maybe you should actually consider if you might need some help either managing your hate towards your ex, anxiety or both.

[Anonymous]

I'd say that same of her husband. He is choosing to not vaccinate the kids, which both endangers their health and endangers their schooling.

Not Mom. Mom is just reacting to Dad's choice to deny the vaccine.