Please tell me I won’t regret my divorce

[Anonymous]

Mid 30’s, one child.

DH constantly criticizes me and bosses me around roughly, keeps promising to change, never does. We rarely have sex, he always has an excuse, usually that he is too tired.

This has been going around for years. I have given up hope that he will ever stop tearing me down as I work so hard to keep our lives running smoothly plus work full time at a good job.

I have fears I will regret leaving. Family and friends will be shocked because of course he puts on an act in front of others and is super agreeable in front of them.

I believe he does love me but I don’t want to live like this anymore. Will I regret leaving?

[Anonymous]

How do you feel about 50/50 custody?

[Anonymous]

Have you tried counseling?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you feel about 50/50 custody?

I feel fine about it. He will be a controlling and critical parent whether we are married or not, nothing I can do about it now.

[Anonymous]

I don't regret mine. I regret waiting 10 years to do it. Only you know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mid 30’s, one child.

DH constantly criticizes me and bosses me around roughly, keeps promising to change, never does. We rarely have sex, he always has an excuse, usually that he is too tired.

This has been going around for years. I have given up hope that he will ever stop tearing me down as I work so hard to keep our lives running smoothly plus work full time at a good job.

I have fears I will regret leaving. Family and friends will be shocked because of course he puts on an act in front of others and is super agreeable in front of them.

I believe he does love me but I don’t want to live like this anymore. Will I regret leaving?

Of course you will but it's your decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mid 30’s, one child.

DH constantly criticizes me and bosses me around roughly, keeps promising to change, never does. We rarely have sex, he always has an excuse, usually that he is too tired.

This has been going around for years. I have given up hope that he will ever stop tearing me down as I work so hard to keep our lives running smoothly plus work full time at a good job.

I have fears I will regret leaving. Family and friends will be shocked because of course he puts on an act in front of others and is super agreeable in front of them.

I believe he does love me but I don’t want to live like this anymore. Will I regret leaving?

What makes you say that?

Of course you will but it's your decision.

[Anonymous]

Who the heck can tell you that?

If you want internet anons to validate your decision, then you haven't thought about it very seriously. If you had, you wouldn't be posting this here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mid 30’s, one child.

DH constantly criticizes me and bosses me around roughly, keeps promising to change, never does. We rarely have sex, he always has an excuse, usually that he is too tired.

This has been going around for years. I have given up hope that he will ever stop tearing me down as I work so hard to keep our lives running smoothly plus work full time at a good job.

I have fears I will regret leaving. Family and friends will be shocked because of course he puts on an act in front of others and is super agreeable in front of them.

I believe he does love me but I don’t want to live like this anymore. Will I regret leaving?

I’ve never regretted it, even during the years when I was broke and had no leave from work because my XH wouldn’t split the sent home from school sick days.

I’m happily remarried.

And love is not enough for a happy, healthy marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mid 30’s, one child.

DH constantly criticizes me and bosses me around roughly, keeps promising to change, never does. We rarely have sex, he always has an excuse, usually that he is too tired.

This has been going around for years. I have given up hope that he will ever stop tearing me down as I work so hard to keep our lives running smoothly plus work full time at a good job.

I have fears I will regret leaving. Family and friends will be shocked because of course he puts on an act in front of others and is super agreeable in front of them.

I believe he does love me but I don’t want to live like this anymore. Will I regret leaving?

I’ve never regretted it, even during the years when I was broke and had no leave from work because my XH wouldn’t split the sent home from school sick days.

I’m happily remarried.

And love is not enough for a happy, healthy marriage.

Forgot to add that like another poster, my only regret is that I waited so long to divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mid 30’s, one child.

DH constantly criticizes me and bosses me around roughly, keeps promising to change, never does. We rarely have sex, he always has an excuse, usually that he is too tired.

This has been going around for years. I have given up hope that he will ever stop tearing me down as I work so hard to keep our lives running smoothly plus work full time at a good job.

I have fears I will regret leaving. Family and friends will be shocked because of course he puts on an act in front of others and is super agreeable in front of them.

I believe he does love me but I don’t want to live like this anymore. Will I regret leaving?

I’ve never regretted it, even during the years when I was broke and had no leave from work because my XH wouldn’t split the sent home from school sick days.

I’m happily remarried.

And love is not enough for a happy, healthy marriage.

Forgot to add that like another poster, my only regret is that I waited so long to divorce.

+1. My life is objectively worse in some ways -- financially, for example. But, freeing myself and my kids from the emotional abuse and breaking the intergenerational cycle is priceless.

If I have any regrets, it's that I didn't vet my spouse better before I had kids, and that I wasted so much time catering to him. I would have been much better off leaving early and not trying to co-parent and just parallel parented instead.

I also regret that I didn't have a happy intact marriage, but I acknowledge that that wasn't possible with my ex. So, while I regret my marriage was unhappy, I don't regret leaving.

[Anonymous]

How did it ever get to this point? What would happen if you fight back and say enough is enough?

[Anonymous]

I don't know any woman who regrets their divorce. Including me.

[Anonymous]

I do not regret my divorce. I do regret waiting till I was 49 years old to leave. You only have one life. I’m so happy now. I can do whatever I want. My house is peaceful and calm. I have a nice normal boyfriend. One thing I will never do is remarry.

[Anonymous]

He’s been an asshole for years. You will have an adjustment period, but it sounds like you’ll have a peaceful home once you split.