Rude or not?

[Anonymous]

I was invited to a wedding, just me, and plan on going this fall. Guests pay for transport, hotel etc - the standard. It’s in a city I (nor my boyfriend) have visited and I’m thinking of having him join - obviously not to the events but to spend time with during my down time. Is this totally rude or is it acceptable?

[Anonymous]

^^should say, a city neither I nor my boyfriend have visited

[Anonymous]

1. I would not go, as the nation will be firmly in the grip of Delta this fall.

2. But where it not for the pandemic, I would just ask if they accept a plus one, and note that it's fine if they refuse. If they refuse, he can join you on the non-wedding times. No hurt feelings on either side.

[Anonymous]

were it not

[Anonymous]

Rude. If someone mentions it to the bride she’ll feel bad not to have included him or she’ll feel guilted into squeezing him in.

[Anonymous]

Completely acceptable.

[Anonymous]

It's weird. Just spend time with your family. Don't make trip about him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
1. I would not go, as the nation will be firmly in the grip of Delta this fall.

2. But where it not for the pandemic, I would just ask if they accept a plus one, and note that it's fine if they refuse. If they refuse, he can join you on the non-wedding times. No hurt feelings on either side.

Oh my god, OP do NOT do the bolded! That would be incredibly rude and tacky. The appropriate thing to do is spend the weekend with the other invited wedding guests. Take two extra days AFTER the wedding is over, have your boyfriend fly out to join you AFTER all the wedding festivities are over and explore THEN.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
1. I would not go, as the nation will be firmly in the grip of Delta this fall.

2. But where it not for the pandemic, I would just ask if they accept a plus one, and note that it's fine if they refuse. If they refuse, he can join you on the non-wedding times. No hurt feelings on either side.

Oh my god, OP do NOT do the bolded! That would be incredibly rude and tacky. The appropriate thing to do is spend the weekend with the other invited wedding guests. Take two extra days AFTER the wedding is over, have your boyfriend fly out to join you AFTER all the wedding festivities are over and explore THEN.

It's rude and tacky to not allow +1 for the adult. It's completely fine for OP to have her boyfriend come and hang out with him for non-wedding events. The bride doesn't get to hold OP hostage, and OP probably has limited vacation time.

[Anonymous]

Don’t ask for an additional seat for him but for sure make a weekend of it together. You RSVPd for an evening, what you do the rest of the time is up to you.

And if the bride or groom feel uncomfortable with that, they can reconsider their guest list. It’s very cheap looking not to give a +1 to a LTR.

[Anonymous]

Do not ask for a +1, but I think you already know that.

I don't see the big deal. Just don't make it into a thing, like saying "I have to get going; Larlo is waiting for me at the hotel". I've had dh join me in business trips, and no one needs to know - not terribly different as long as you're all in on the reason you're there to begin with.

[Anonymous]

It’s rude to invite a grown adult to a wedding without a +1.

I would just decline.

[Anonymous]

Totally fine. It’s pretty rude of them not to invite him IMO.

[Anonymous]

OP here - of course I wouldn’t ask the bride/groom to include my bf. But again it’s a city we’re both interested in seeing and I figure I’m paying for the hotel anyway, why not have him come along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - of course I wouldn’t ask the bride/groom to include my bf. But again it’s a city we’re both interested in seeing and I figure I’m paying for the hotel anyway, why not have him come along.

Definitely bring him.