Rising college freshman invited on trip with friend's family

[Anonymous]

Our DD will leave for college in CA on August 15 (she's going early for sports practice). A friend's family just invited her to join them for a week at the beach. Our daughter and this girl have been friends since elementary school, though they've grown apart somewhat in high school as their interests have diverged. Throughout this time our two families have always been friendly. Right now, though, I'm a little peeved that this family has invited our daughter to spend a week with them when she has so little time left before going away to college. DH and I don't feel like we can tell our daughter to decline the invitation, though I've told her that we'll miss her. I'm trying to get a sense of whether I just suck this one up or say anymore than that to DD, and would appreciate hearing other perspectives. Thanks. (BTW, we did a family vacation ourselves in June after she graduated from HS and her older brother graduated from college.)

[Anonymous]

Why would you possibly be upset?

[Anonymous]

I can't even understand why this is a problem. Does your daughter want to go? You think she should be tethered to you until she leaves? My soon to be college freshman just ran out the door with his friends for about the 10th night in a row. It's time for them to go.

[Anonymous]

Let her go if she wants to. This is ridiculous, they have invited her for one of the remaining three weeks before she goes. You have spent the last 18 months with more together time than any parents should have with their high school students. Teenagers like to hang out with other teenagers.

[Anonymous]

My rising college freshman is about to go on her 3rd beach vacation with various friends. I would never think to keep her home! You sound crazy, OP!

[Anonymous]

Nothing wrong with inviting her. But, given late in the game I'd assume they invited someone else and they backed out.

[Anonymous]

Completely disagree with every PP. "WHY would you POSSIBLY have a problem with THIS! You are RIDICULOUS"

Do you hear yourselves? Can't EVEN UNDERSTAND why someone feels the way OP does?.... okay.

Anyway, OP, I understand. It is extremely normal to want to spend time with your daughter before she leaves. August 15th will be here before you know it.

Does your daughter really want to go? Or, does she have mixed feelings because the girls have not been as close lately? Could you propose her going for a weekend or half the week?

[Anonymous]

I’d feel sad about it, too. You’re counting down the time.

[Anonymous]

No reason to be “peeved” at the other family. How would they know your feelings? If you want your DD to decline, tell her that.

[Anonymous]

A week is a long time especially right now when she’s leaving soon. Is it at all feasible for her to do a long weekend instead?

[Anonymous]

I completely get it, OP, but I think you just need to suck it up and cheerfully tell her you want her to do as she wishes. If she's grown apart from the friend, you may luck out and she may decide on her own not to go. However, if you pressure her to stay, those precious extra days are liable to be spent with her hurt, angry, and resentful, sending her off to college with this hanging between you. Make the most of whatever time you have with her and hope that she wants to come home for breaks.

[Anonymous]

This one is totally up to your DD.

[Anonymous]

Don’t be selfish. It’s time for you to let her go so, Let her go. She totally wants to.

[Anonymous]

We’ve taken three weeks of vacation this summer. Two different weeks visiting family in different places, and a week in California. Dd bailed on the California trip and half of one of the family trips. DD wanted to spend time with friends before the summer ends and, let’s face it - she’s 18 and doesn’t want to spend all her time with us. We have a great time when we’re together and I want to keep it that way. I think she appreciates us giving her some space and treating her like the young adult she is. I for one am very happy about her going off to college because it presents great opportunities for her, and she’s really excited about it.

[Anonymous]

Let her go. She’s ready to fly the nest. Hugs.