I don't want my kids anymore

[Anonymous]

I can't handle my kids anymore.

They make messes everywhere and won't pick them up. When I throw away their messes (paper, drawings left on the floor, etc.), they cry and scream at me. I ask them to either put their dirty clothes in the hamper or in the hallway, but they stuff them under their beds or in the closet under the doll clothes.

They're in kindergarten and second grade. They refuse to use the bathroom, even when it's really obvious they need to. Second-grader keeps peeing their pants at school, kindergartner keeps peeing on the floor at home.

Every morning, they yell at me about something. Either their hair bow isn't right, I missed up a project they had left on the floor, their breakfast had too many blueberries or the toast was too toasted. Their outfit wasn't what they wanted - second-grader rejects outfit after outfit that I suggest.

I can't take the pee. I can't take the yelling at me every day. I don't want my kids anymore. I'm a terrible mom and I just want to die.

But I'll end up just picking them up at school, listening to them yell at me if I don't have the window open just the right amount, and they'll insist I take them to dinner, since nothing I cook is good enough. I was known for being a great, healthy cook for before these brats were born.

I just can't take it anymore.

[Anonymous]

do you work outside the home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:do you work outside the home?

I work from home because of COVID. Hoping to go back soon.

[Anonymous]

That sounds horrible, OP. You need to shut that ish down. They are old enough to lose privileges whenever they are rude to you, and to skip dinner if they refuse to eat what you prepare. Children only become monsters if you let them become so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That sounds horrible, OP. You need to shut that ish down. They are old enough to lose privileges whenever they are rude to you, and to skip dinner if they refuse to eat what you prepare. Children only become monsters if you let them become so.

Eh. Some kids are really hard at no fault of the parents.

[Anonymous]

Peeing themselves at these ages is not developmentally typical (read, normal). Something is going on. I suggest you talk to a pediatrician and a therapist (for yourself).

[Anonymous]

Yeah I would start going hardcore discipline parent if my kids did stuff like this. You complain about the bow in your hair, fine you either do it yourself or don't get a bow. You complain about dinner, well this is what we are eating. You pee on the floor you clean it up yourself.

Make your kids have some consequences for their actions. They aren't babies anymore.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry. Your feelings are real and valid. You need more/different parenting strategies. I recommend a therapist for you and a parenting class for you (and your partner if you have one). The best that I know for difficult kids is Dr. Dan Shapiro's, http://www.parentchildjourney.com/

Tackle one issue at a time. You mention the messes, the eating, and the toileting. What is your biggest problem? Focus just on that, letting the other things go for now.

[Anonymous]

Barring a medical issue, I would become a very strict parent for the next couple of months. As in, military style. No talking back, no raising your voice to your parent, no whining, and dire consequences for peeing anywhere that’s not the toilet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Peeing themselves at these ages is not developmentally typical (read, normal). Something is going on. I suggest you talk to a pediatrician and a therapist (for yourself).

+1. Most of this reads like normal parenting struggles and discipline problems, but that's a big read flag for something else.

[Anonymous]

Hugs

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you could be suffering from some depression and/or could maybe use some parenting classes/a parenting couch to work on how you are interacting with your children.

It also sounds like there cold be more going on. Kids peeing their pant at these age is not appropriate.

You kids are old enough to be responsible for their own things and to not be so demanding. Issues with how you prepare breakfast, ok they can make their own breakfast. Definitely old enough to do this.

Have the kid who is picky about clothing pick out her clothes the night before. No tv/electronics/whatever she does after school until her next day outfit is picked out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Peeing themselves at these ages is not developmentally typical (read, normal). Something is going on. I suggest you talk to a pediatrician and a therapist (for yourself).

+1. Most of this reads like normal parenting struggles and discipline problems, but that's a big read flag for something else.

Yes.

Who lives in your house besides the 3 of you? I'd definitely seek out a child therapist. A 2nd grader peeing their pants at school is a HUGE red flag. You could start with the school counselor.

[Anonymous]

OP, you need IMMEDIATE help. Please call your pediatrician immediately. This is not a discipline issue. Please call - they WILL HELP.

[Anonymous]

10:49 again.

I should have also acknowledge that these ages are tough and this past year has pushed us all to out limits. I was so happy when my kids went back to school and I was able to go back into the office some. we all needed the break.