Is my son being unreasonable?

[Anonymous]

We have a great private coach at a reasonable rate. My son worked with him with one other kid, who doesn't want to do it over the summer. Coach says he will still do it for my son at the same rate we paid before (we do not have to take over the other kid's half of the cost). My son says he does not want to, because it is only fun if another kid is there. Of course, we are trying to find another kid interested in working with him, but no luck so far (we would need the other kid to be appropximately at his level of play, meaning does travel on some level). I feel like my son is passing up a good opportunity to work with this coach. Would you require your kid to do so?

[Anonymous]

My kid hates change. I'd have him do a couple sessions by himself and then if he still doesn't want to do it, then I'd stop, but with my kid I'm sure he'd like it after the initial resistance.

[Anonymous]

In the end your son has to want to do it or it all means nothing. The old saying is "You can work me as long as you want , But only as hard as I want".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a great private coach at a reasonable rate. My son worked with him with one other kid, who doesn't want to do it over the summer. Coach says he will still do it for my son at the same rate we paid before (we do not have to take over the other kid's half of the cost). My son says he does not want to, because it is only fun if another kid is there. Of course, we are trying to find another kid interested in working with him, but no luck so far (we would need the other kid to be appropximately at his level of play, meaning does travel on some level). I feel like my son is passing up a good opportunity to work with this coach. Would you require your kid to do so?

Generally, I listen to my kids and if not necessary than I dont force them. Do you want him to get a scholarship for college? Become pro? Why is this so important? Is it more for you? You can brag how good he is or wished you had that opportunity? Don't live through your kid.

Kid is not being unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
We have a great private coach at a reasonable rate. My son worked with him with one other kid, who doesn't want to do it over the summer. Coach says he will still do it for my son at the same rate we paid before (we do not have to take over the other kid's half of the cost). My son says he does not want to, because it is only fun if another kid is there. Of course, we are trying to find another kid interested in working with him, but no luck so far (we would need the other kid to be appropximately at his level of play, meaning does travel on some level). I feel like my son is passing up a good opportunity to work with this coach. Would you require your kid to do so?


Generally, I listen to my kids and if not necessary than I dont force them. Do you want him to get a scholarship for college? Become pro? Why is this so important? Is it more for you? You can brag how good he is or wished you had that opportunity? Don't live through your kid.

Kid is not being unreasonable.

OK, thanks. No, I don't want him to do any of those things, just to keep improving and not lose the work he has already put in this year, or lose a good, affordable private coach. Maybe I'll be able to find another kid and it'll become a non-issue. Otherwise, it sounds like most people think it is fine for him to stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the end your son has to want to do it or it all means nothing. The old saying is "You can work me as long as you want , But only as hard as I want".

^^^this is so true^^^

[Anonymous]

What is the reason he doesn't want to do 1v1? Is it boring? Too hard? For some kids grinding 1v1 for an hour is tough where when they have 2 kids they can some times take a breather between drills.

Maybe ask why he is hesitant? Why is he doing training in the first place? To get better or socialize with a friend? Seems like a waste of money if he isn't motivated.

I wouldn't just go find some other kid unless it's a good match personality and ability wise.

[Anonymous]

My son has had private coaching on and off. However, we have only pursued it when he asked. He’s never asked to do it with a friend and actually prefers the reps he gets 1:1 but there are times I would imagine having 2 or more players would be more fun or even helpful for drills. I can understand why it seems like a great opportunity to have him continue and I like the idea of suggesting he just try one lesson and that he isn’t obligated if he doesn’t what to continue. But if he says no to that, I would definitely just give him a break. The travel soccer year is so exhausting and I think a break can be really helpful.

[Anonymous]

What is your goal? It's really important to me that my kids discover what they love to do and take control of those things. The fact that my kid was communicating this to me would make me happy, and I'd follow his lead.

But if you want him to keep it up, he can surely workout with a kid on a different "level" than him. That's absurd.

[Anonymous]

Maybe ask why he is hesitant? Why is he doing training in the first place? To get better or socialize with a friend? Seems like a waste of money if he isn't motivated.

He says he was doing it for both reasons. This other kid was a really good match for him to work with. They weren't friendly before, but became friendly through the training. The other kid is very slightly better than my son, and had a more direct style of play, with more aggression. My son was faster and more technical. They helped each other work on their weaknesses. I think you all are right that some random other kid may not be able to replicate that.

[Anonymous]

TBH I think you're the unreasonable one here OP. If your son doesn't want to do it, why force him?

I agree its a missed opportunity for him but if he isn't interested leave it alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We have a great private coach at a reasonable rate. My son worked with him with one other kid, who doesn't want to do it over the summer. Coach says he will still do it for my son at the same rate we paid before (we do not have to take over the other kid's half of the cost). My son says he does not want to, because it is only fun if another kid is there. Of course, we are trying to find another kid interested in working with him, but no luck so far (we would need the other kid to be appropximately at his level of play, meaning does travel on some level). I feel like my son is passing up a good opportunity to work with this coach. Would you require your kid to do so?


Generally, I listen to my kids and if not necessary than I dont force them. Do you want him to get a scholarship for college? Become pro? Why is this so important? Is it more for you? You can brag how good he is or wished you had that opportunity? Don't live through your kid.

Kid is not being unreasonable.

OK, thanks. No, I don't want him to do any of those things, just to keep improving and not lose the work he has already put in this year, or lose a good, affordable private coach. Maybe I'll be able to find another kid and it'll become a non-issue. Otherwise, it sounds like most people think it is fine for him to stop.

DP. What is the worst that will happen if he doesn’t improve over the summer, or even if his skills slip a bit while he’s not playing? It sounds like you are more invested in his soccer performance than he is, which is a sign it’s time to back off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We have a great private coach at a reasonable rate. My son worked with him with one other kid, who doesn't want to do it over the summer. Coach says he will still do it for my son at the same rate we paid before (we do not have to take over the other kid's half of the cost). My son says he does not want to, because it is only fun if another kid is there. Of course, we are trying to find another kid interested in working with him, but no luck so far (we would need the other kid to be appropximately at his level of play, meaning does travel on some level). I feel like my son is passing up a good opportunity to work with this coach. Would you require your kid to do so?


Generally, I listen to my kids and if not necessary than I dont force them. Do you want him to get a scholarship for college? Become pro? Why is this so important? Is it more for you? You can brag how good he is or wished you had that opportunity? Don't live through your kid.

Kid is not being unreasonable.

OK, thanks. No, I don't want him to do any of those things, just to keep improving and not lose the work he has already put in this year, or lose a good, affordable private coach. Maybe I'll be able to find another kid and it'll become a non-issue. Otherwise, it sounds like most people think it is fine for him to stop.

I think its fine for him to take the summer off. Give him a break. If not, you risk really burning him out.

[Anonymous]

It’s unreasonable gor him to say “it’s not fun” without the 2nd child before he tries it.

It’s like… “I don’t like Brussel sprouts” but you’ve never eaten brussel sprouts.

It’s reasonable for him to go 2-3 times snd if he is not enjoying it to ask to stop.

The best athletes want to be there… where ever there is.

My son plays in college and always wanted to play… so when he told me “this isn’t fun anymore” I actually respected his opinion because it wasn’t his default… it meant something wasn’t working fir him.

You know you kid.

[Anonymous]

OK, thanks. No, I don't want him to do any of those things, just to keep improving and not lose the work he has already put in this year, or lose a good, affordable private coach. Maybe I'll be able to find another kid and it'll become a non-issue. Otherwise, it sounds like most people think it is fine for him to stop.


DP. What is the worst that will happen if he doesn’t improve over the summer, or even if his skills slip a bit while he’s not playing? It sounds like you are more invested in his soccer performance than he is, which is a sign it’s time to back off

The part about the worst that will happen is very fair. He's playing in an indoor futsal league this summer, so it's not like he won't be practicing. It'll be unfortunate if we lose this coach, given his rates, but I guess if my son wants to risk that, that's what we will do. It's fine, I am just unwilling to pay twice as much for someone else in the fall if that happens and my son wants to resume, but you are right, it is entirely up to him whether he wants to risk it, and he can decide.