Is my son being unreasonable?

[Anonymous]

You don't need a private trainer to get touches on the ball over the summer...especially if he is in another summer program. There is a ton of online content to work on over the summer for free.

How old are we talking about here? I have a son that is crazy motivated and trains all the time with friends, team, trainer, alone, but also have a daughter that isn't like that at all. She likes playing but I suspect the social aspect of it is important for her having fun. She would never do a 1v1 and rarely trains alone, but loves playing with a friend or the team. All kids are different. I would push to find out why they don't want to do 1v1 so you will know, but don't push to do the training. I don't think it will be worth the money and your child will probably end up resenting the sessions.

[Anonymous]

How old are we talking about here? I have a son that is crazy motivated and trains all the time with friends, team, trainer, alone, but also have a daughter that isn't like that at all.

He is 12. He does play with friends at the park on his own time, so he's doing that. I would say he is medium motivated, and that is totally fine.

[Anonymous]

I suggest you tell him to try it for 1 session to see if he likes it. If not, you can discontinue the training. I’m sure the training will be a little different with 2 kids vs 1 kid so I would ask the trainer what your DS can expect.

Years ago, DD didn’t want to play soccer at all for a Rec team. I told her just to try it and she can quit anytime if she hates it. She found out that she loves it and now is playing travel soccer and practices every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

How old are we talking about here? I have a son that is crazy motivated and trains all the time with friends, team, trainer, alone, but also have a daughter that isn't like that at all.

He is 12. He does play with friends at the park on his own time, so he's doing that. I would say he is medium motivated, and that is totally fine.

Ok, I wouldn't press. Frankly, personal training is a luxury and if he's not on board then don't push the issue. He will get touches over the summer if he wants and if he doesn't then he doesn't. My personal opinion and what I did with my daughter who is less motivated than my son....I would have the conversation that over the next few years he is heading into an age where the kids really putting in the extra work start to separate themselves. I'm really noticing it with my kid's teams. If he is ok with that then by all means, let him have fun as that is what this is all about, however, if he wants to play at a higher level as he gets older he needs to put in the extra work outside of practice and that does not always mean a private trainer. Like I said, plenty of ways to get touches on the ball and free content online.

[Anonymous]

I think the most important thing is following what your son says he wants to do.

Taking the summer "off" might even be beneficial, so long as he's not sitting around playing video games. There is a lot of coordination and fitness that comes with swimming, basketball, baseball, and just running around being a kid. In my opinion, it would be worse to burn out his interest by insisting on a private coaching session if he's told you that he doesn't want to do it. Don't turn soccer into a chore for him. Once he loses his love and passion for the game, it's going to affect him far more than a couple months off would.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you look into some weekly classes like HP elite or something, or some camps, it's easy to get mentally burned out of individual training after 10 month season. Give him a little bit of a break with the intensity and dial it back, get him around some other kids and more of a social environment. Just try some camps out there are tons in the area this summer.

[Anonymous]

OP please just stop.

Let your kid be a kid. Soccer? It's not like that's going to be his career. Much less get you that much money for college.

Listen to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the most important thing is following what your son says he wants to do.

Taking the summer "off" might even be beneficial, so long as he's not sitting around playing video games. There is a lot of coordination and fitness that comes with swimming, basketball, baseball, and just running around being a kid. In my opinion, it would be worse to burn out his interest by insisting on a private coaching session if he's told you that he doesn't want to do it. Don't turn soccer into a chore for him. Once he loses his love and passion for the game, it's going to affect him far more than a couple months off would.

+ 1

Maybe he wants a break and that's his excuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a great private coach at a reasonable rate. My son worked with him with one other kid, who doesn't want to do it over the summer. Coach says he will still do it for my son at the same rate we paid before (we do not have to take over the other kid's half of the cost). My son says he does not want to, because it is only fun if another kid is there. Of course, we are trying to find another kid interested in working with him, but no luck so far (we would need the other kid to be appropximately at his level of play, meaning does travel on some level). I feel like my son is passing up a good opportunity to work with this coach. Would you require your kid to do so?

Generally, I listen to my kids and if not necessary than I dont force them. Do you want him to get a scholarship for college? Become pro? Why is this so important? Is it more for you? You can brag how good he is or wished you had that opportunity? Don't live through your kid.

Kid is not being unreasonable.

This kids goals are none of your business and irrelevant to the question. If you get a math tutor are you living through your kid? Piano lessons? Are they worth it if the kid doesn't play at Madison Square Garden?

I'll tell you simply what kids get out of things like personal training.

1. They learn that with extra work comes improvement.
2. Improvement in anything doesn't always come easy.
3. If you set goals, work at them you can achieve them.
4. In spite of all the hard work put in there is always going to be somebody who is better.
5. Life isn't fair and doesn't owe you anything.

These are lessons kids who dedicate themselves to SOMETHING and work at it will learn, even if they are unaware of it at the time. It could be math, piano, soccer, art or any form of creative or intellectual outlet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP please just stop.

Let your kid be a kid. Soccer? It's not like that's going to be his career. Much less get you that much money for college.

Listen to him.

+1. Listen to your kid. If he's not in it, you're wasting your money.

Your money would be better spent in early math, finance, writing, etc. classes for the kid. Will be far more useful than soccer ever will be. And I say that as someone who also spends endless hours on the soccer field....always wondering why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the end your son has to want to do it or it all means nothing. The old saying is "You can work me as long as you want , But only as hard as I want".

This, op. No, I would not force my kid to do private soccer lessons. What a waste of time and money.

[Anonymous]

Kids have private coaches nowadays? Holy smokes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP please just stop.

Let your kid be a kid. Soccer? It's not like that's going to be his career. Much less get you that much money for college.

Listen to him.

Do you only do things that make you money? What about things that build confidence, teamwork skills, fitness, and grit? I don't understand why people think sports are such a waste when in particular team sports really round out a person.

I think an individual coach (if you play on a team and aren't struggling to get starting time) is very weird. If the kid loves the game, he'll go find friends to do drills, play pickup, kick around with. If he doesn't love it that much, this will certainly kill it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a great private coach at a reasonable rate. My son worked with him with one other kid, who doesn't want to do it over the summer. Coach says he will still do it for my son at the same rate we paid before (we do not have to take over the other kid's half of the cost). My son says he does not want to, because it is only fun if another kid is there. Of course, we are trying to find another kid interested in working with him, but no luck so far (we would need the other kid to be appropximately at his level of play, meaning does travel on some level). I feel like my son is passing up a good opportunity to work with this coach. Would you require your kid to do so?

Understandable. However, I would only pay for it if he asks. It's a lot of money and if his heart's not in it don't push.

[Anonymous]

+ 1

Maybe he wants a break and that's his excuse.

I don't think it is his excuse, because he said he would want to do it if the kid he practiced with continued. But I have thought about it more, and if he wants to work with another kid, I think he can either help find that kid (he has contact information for kids that play), or he can just take a break. I've asked a few people, it hasn't panned out, so he can either ask some other people or take a break as he wants.