Is my son being unreasonable?

[Anonymous]

RantingSoccerDad wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

RantingSoccerDad wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Kids have private coaches nowadays? Holy smokes.


Oh absolutely. It is hard to improve as an individual player without one (vs. learning to better work with your teammates), unless you have a parent or other adult who knows a lot about soccer and can work with you for free.


This shocked me too. There is a thread on it somewhere. Soccer has become a sport for the rich kids unless you come from a soccer family. Personally I hate that much competition at such a young age.

I am willing to pay for sports stuff, because unless my son is playing soccer or tennis, he is on video games or annoying me about why he can't be on them. It would be great if there were more pickup games etc. locally, but I don't want to organize them, and no one else does.

Music.

Reading.

Khan Academy.

Respectfully, it sounds like you're hiring a babysitter rather than a private coach. You have to drive this kid anyway, so how much time and aggravation are you really saving?

Respectfully, STFU

Why am I wrong?

Because you are basing an opinion on a parents motives and relationship based a paragraph on a forum.

You lack context and understanding to even be right.

You just want to hate on parents who pay for soccer and don’t raise their kids in your idealized past. If my judgement is wrong then consider your judgement of others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

RantingSoccerDad wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

RantingSoccerDad wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Kids have private coaches nowadays? Holy smokes.


Oh absolutely. It is hard to improve as an individual player without one (vs. learning to better work with your teammates), unless you have a parent or other adult who knows a lot about soccer and can work with you for free.


This shocked me too. There is a thread on it somewhere. Soccer has become a sport for the rich kids unless you come from a soccer family. Personally I hate that much competition at such a young age.

I am willing to pay for sports stuff, because unless my son is playing soccer or tennis, he is on video games or annoying me about why he can't be on them. It would be great if there were more pickup games etc. locally, but I don't want to organize them, and no one else does.

Music.

Reading.

Khan Academy.

Respectfully, it sounds like you're hiring a babysitter rather than a private coach. You have to drive this kid anyway, so how much time and aggravation are you really saving?

Respectfully, STFU

Why am I wrong?

Because you are basing an opinion on a parents motives and relationship based a paragraph on a forum.

You lack context and understanding to even be right.

You just want to hate on parents who pay for soccer and don’t raise their kids in your idealized past. If my judgement is wrong then consider your judgement of others.

Amen. The amount of judgment based on little or no context is truly breathtaking. I would not compound the error by speculating as to all the reasons RSD has arrived at such thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

RantingSoccerDad wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

RantingSoccerDad wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Kids have private coaches nowadays? Holy smokes.


Oh absolutely. It is hard to improve as an individual player without one (vs. learning to better work with your teammates), unless you have a parent or other adult who knows a lot about soccer and can work with you for free.


This shocked me too. There is a thread on it somewhere. Soccer has become a sport for the rich kids unless you come from a soccer family. Personally I hate that much competition at such a young age.

I am willing to pay for sports stuff, because unless my son is playing soccer or tennis, he is on video games or annoying me about why he can't be on them. It would be great if there were more pickup games etc. locally, but I don't want to organize them, and no one else does.

Music.

Reading.

Khan Academy.

Respectfully, it sounds like you're hiring a babysitter rather than a private coach. You have to drive this kid anyway, so how much time and aggravation are you really saving?

Respectfully, STFU

Why am I wrong?

Because you are basing an opinion on a parents motives and relationship based a paragraph on a forum.

You lack context and understanding to even be right.

You just want to hate on parents who pay for soccer and don’t raise their kids in your idealized past. If my judgement is wrong then consider your judgement of others.

Amen. The amount of judgment based on little or no context is truly breathtaking. I would not compound the error by speculating as to all the reasons RSD has arrived at such thinking.

Anybody remember the anti-drug PSAs from the 80s? “This is a journalist’s brain (an egg). This is a journalist’s brain that spends too much time on social media (egg cracks and begins frying).”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

RantingSoccerDad wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

RantingSoccerDad wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Kids have private coaches nowadays? Holy smokes.


Oh absolutely. It is hard to improve as an individual player without one (vs. learning to better work with your teammates), unless you have a parent or other adult who knows a lot about soccer and can work with you for free.


This shocked me too. There is a thread on it somewhere. Soccer has become a sport for the rich kids unless you come from a soccer family. Personally I hate that much competition at such a young age.

I'm not the poster you were referring to, but do you really not think parents do these things for the wrong reasons or force their kids? I find that a little hard to believe, plenty of parents actually don't have their kids nest interests at heart
I am willing to pay for sports stuff, because unless my son is playing soccer or tennis, he is on video games or annoying me about why he can't be on them. It would be great if there were more pickup games etc. locally, but I don't want to organize them, and no one else does.

Music.

Reading.

Khan Academy.

Respectfully, it sounds like you're hiring a babysitter rather than a private coach. You have to drive this kid anyway, so how much time and aggravation are you really saving?

Respectfully, STFU

Why am I wrong?

Because you are basing an opinion on a parents motives and relationship based a paragraph on a forum.

You lack context and understanding to even be right.

You just want to hate on parents who pay for soccer and don’t raise their kids in your idealized past. If my judgement is wrong then consider your judgement of others.

[Anonymous]

RantingSoccerDad wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I know nothing about sports but a lot of classical music.

You cannot attain interesting levels of achievement in music without sustained individual attention from a teacher. Period. End of story. Gymnasts and ballet dancers also have one-on-ones at a certain level.

So I imagine that it's the same for sports.

But we're not talking about "achievement" here. We're talking about those life lessons.

Pp you replied to. The two are linked, SoccerDad. You can't have any meaningful life lessons without reaching a certain level of achievement. Because the life lessons you're trying to teach are resilience, persistence, team work, attention to detail, study skills, and learning how to learn.

[Anonymous]

So no one here believes that parents can put their kids in sports and activities for the wrong reasons? That they are never living vicariously through their kids or forcing them? I fond that hard to believe. As for life lessons, yes, they are great, but can be learned in many other ways.

[Anonymous]

RantingSoccerDad wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Anybody remember the anti-drug PSAs from the 80s? “This is a journalist’s brain (an egg). This is a journalist’s brain that spends too much time on social media (egg cracks and begins frying).”

Social media can be a sinkhole, and I spend a lot less time on it than I used to (at least, with random people - I still keep up with friends elsewhere). But the conversations can be interesting at times. This one is kind of interesting. On one hand, it's yet another aspect of the discussion over costs being a barrier for too many people in soccer -- a massive topic over the past decade at least. On another hand, it's a question of priorities and what people really want out of sports. On the yet another hand, it shows how far people will go to justify their outlays of time and money.

You didn’t contribute to the conversation, instead you made a quick judgement and you were particularly condescending.

Parents do struggle finding ways to get their kids off the couch and device. It is a unique obstacle, but it doesn’t mean that the kid doesn’t enjoy playing soccer. The kid has also demonstrated an interest in some personal training, training perhaps in a sport, that for many parents is a sport they did not grow up playing. Many parents simply pay for the extra training that they themselves cannot competently provide themselves the way they may have with other sports.

Who knows what this parent’s driving motive is but there are many, many possibilities other than a very patronizing “you just want a babysitter”.

Step off your high horse. If you have something useful to add then do so. I just get so sick of all these “stop living through your kids” type replies when someone is asking for actionable advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So no one here believes that parents can put their kids in sports and activities for the wrong reasons? That they are never living vicariously through their kids or forcing them? I fond that hard to believe. As for life lessons, yes, they are great, but can be learned in many other ways.

No, bud what does that have to do with the OP’s actual question? Who TF are you to question someone’s motive and WTF is to you anyways? If you have useful advice say otherwise keep your judgements to yourself and STFU.

[Anonymous]

Ok that was way out of line harsh. And my comment was in line with this thread because it was already brought up. What's it to you if people think parents are living vicariously through their kids? Afraid to admit it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a great private coach at a reasonable rate. My son worked with him with one other kid, who doesn't want to do it over the summer. Coach says he will still do it for my son at the same rate we paid before (we do not have to take over the other kid's half of the cost). My son says he does not want to, because it is only fun if another kid is there. Of course, we are trying to find another kid interested in working with him, but no luck so far (we would need the other kid to be appropximately at his level of play, meaning does travel on some level). I feel like my son is passing up a good opportunity to work with this coach. Would you require your kid to do so?

Generally, I listen to my kids and if not necessary than I dont force them. Do you want him to get a scholarship for college? Become pro? Why is this so important? Is it more for you? You can brag how good he is or wished you had that opportunity? Don't live through your kid.

Kid is not being unreasonable.

This kids goals are none of your business and irrelevant to the question. If you get a math tutor are you living through your kid? Piano lessons? Are they worth it if the kid doesn't play at Madison Square Garden?

I'll tell you simply what kids get out of things like personal training.

1. They learn that with extra work comes improvement.
2. Improvement in anything doesn't always come easy.
3. If you set goals, work at them you can achieve them.
4. In spite of all the hard work put in there is always going to be somebody who is better.
5. Life isn't fair and doesn't owe you anything.

These are lessons kids who dedicate themselves to SOMETHING and work at it will learn, even if they are unaware of it at the time. It could be math, piano, soccer, art or any form of creative or intellectual outlet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a great private coach at a reasonable rate. My son worked with him with one other kid, who doesn't want to do it over the summer. Coach says he will still do it for my son at the same rate we paid before (we do not have to take over the other kid's half of the cost). My son says he does not want to, because it is only fun if another kid is there. Of course, we are trying to find another kid interested in working with him, but no luck so far (we would need the other kid to be appropximately at his level of play, meaning does travel on some level). I feel like my son is passing up a good opportunity to work with this coach. Would you require your kid to do so?

Generally, I listen to my kids and if not necessary than I dont force them. Do you want him to get a scholarship for college? Become pro? Why is this so important? Is it more for you? You can brag how good he is or wished you had that opportunity? Don't live through your kid.

Kid is not being unreasonable.

This kids goals are none of your business and irrelevant to the question. If you get a math tutor are you living through your kid? Piano lessons? Are they worth it if the kid doesn't play at Madison Square Garden?

I'll tell you simply what kids get out of things like personal training.

1. They learn that with extra work comes improvement.
2. Improvement in anything doesn't always come easy.
3. If you set goals, work at them you can achieve them.
4. In spite of all the hard work put in there is always going to be somebody who is better.
5. Life isn't fair and doesn't owe you anything.

These are lessons kids who dedicate themselves to SOMETHING and work at it will learn, even if they are unaware of it at the time. It could be math, piano, soccer, art or any form of creative or intellectual outlet.

Soccer is not important in the way math or school is. If you dont play soccer you can be sucessful and happy. It is an extra curricular activity.

The op asked our opinions and I gave it. Your kids are going to grow up and not want to visit their overbearing tiger mom or dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a great private coach at a reasonable rate. My son worked with him with one other kid, who doesn't want to do it over the summer. Coach says he will still do it for my son at the same rate we paid before (we do not have to take over the other kid's half of the cost). My son says he does not want to, because it is only fun if another kid is there. Of course, we are trying to find another kid interested in working with him, but no luck so far (we would need the other kid to be appropximately at his level of play, meaning does travel on some level). I feel like my son is passing up a good opportunity to work with this coach. Would you require your kid to do so?

Generally, I listen to my kids and if not necessary than I dont force them. Do you want him to get a scholarship for college? Become pro? Why is this so important? Is it more for you? You can brag how good he is or wished you had that opportunity? Don't live through your kid.

Kid is not being unreasonable.

This kids goals are none of your business and irrelevant to the question. If you get a math tutor are you living through your kid? Piano lessons? Are they worth it if the kid doesn't play at Madison Square Garden?

I'll tell you simply what kids get out of things like personal training.

1. They learn that with extra work comes improvement.
2. Improvement in anything doesn't always come easy.
3. If you set goals, work at them you can achieve them.
4. In spite of all the hard work put in there is always going to be somebody who is better.
5. Life isn't fair and doesn't owe you anything.

These are lessons kids who dedicate themselves to SOMETHING and work at it will learn, even if they are unaware of it at the time. It could be math, piano, soccer, art or any form of creative or intellectual outlet.

Soccer is not important in the way math or school is. If you dont play soccer you can be sucessful and happy. It is an extra curricular activity.

The op asked our opinions and I gave it. Your kids are going to grow up and not want to visit their overbearing tiger mom or dad.

Another out of line judgement. “Tiger Mom”. STFU

[Anonymous]

One of the best decisions we ever made was listening to my son when he said he wanted to take some time off from soccer.
The kids is 12, already playing a year round sport, including a summer league, and you’re worried he won’t progress if he doesn’t do private sessions.
He’s telling you it’s too much. He’s right. Listen to him.

[Anonymous]

n another hand, it's a question of priorities and what people really want out of sports. On the yet another hand, it shows how far people will go to justify their outlays of time and money.

OP here. I'm not really sure what assumptions you are making, with respect to me personally. I don't want to lose an affordable coach, which we may if we give up the spot working with him. I don't have illusions that my son will be the next Messi, but he did work hard this year, and I would like him to keep his progress. He does have some interests other than soccer, but they don't take up all of his free time, and I'm very anti-electronics, so we do have a fair amount of conflict about him spending too much time on them. At the end of the day, my son did motivate to text a few kids find another kid that is interested in working with him, so it is all good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

n another hand, it's a question of priorities and what people really want out of sports. On the yet another hand, it shows how far people will go to justify their outlays of time and money.

OP here. I'm not really sure what assumptions you are making, with respect to me personally. I don't want to lose an affordable coach, which we may if we give up the spot working with him. I don't have illusions that my son will be the next Messi, but he did work hard this year, and I would like him to keep his progress. He does have some interests other than soccer, but they don't take up all of his free time, and I'm very anti-electronics, so we do have a fair amount of conflict about him spending too much time on them. At the end of the day, my son did motivate to text a few kids find another kid that is interested in working with him, so it is all good.

What people tend to not understand when they make sweeping judgements and generalizations is that at this age tremendous gains can be made in a short period of time for the player. Getting better is motivating to a player and at this age the gains are seen relatively quickly.

As they get older it is best to pull back unless they are in a very competitive environment or there are very specific aspects the player needs/wants to work on. Having a private trainer is not necessary for the duration of a young players "career" but I can't think of a better time to work on the technical aspects of the game than at this age. The help he gets now will help provide a solid technical foundation that unfortunately you, nor anyone else, should expect the club to provide.

One ball for a group players does not build the technical foundation as quickly as one ball, one player does.