Shouldn't have written first choice letter

[Anonymous]

I feel like we prefer another school now. Any advice?

[Anonymous]

I guess that you were also accepted to another school that you like more now? I think that's tricky, but in the end, you have to do what's best for your family with the understanding that you are probably burning a bridge (although maybe not for the long term) with the FC school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess that you were also accepted to another school that you like more now? I think that's tricky, but in the end, you have to do what's best for your family with the understanding that you are probably burning a bridge (although maybe not for the long term) with the FC school.

Did anyone speak up on your behalf? If so, you may also burn a bridge with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess that you were also accepted to another school that you like more now? I think that's tricky, but in the end, you have to do what's best for your family with the understanding that you are probably burning a bridge (although maybe not for the long term) with the FC school.

Did anyone speak up on your behalf? If so, you may also burn a bridge with them.

Yes. So I've really created a mess.

I'll probably just go with the original "first choice" school.

[Anonymous]

OP, don't beat yourself up! People (admissions and whoever "spoke up" for you) will understand if you make a choice in the best interest of your child. And if they don't, they should!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, don't beat yourself up! People (admissions and whoever "spoke up" for you) will understand if you make a choice in the best interest of your child. And if they don't, they should!!

I disagree. When you actively recruit people (your current head of school, admissions folks, etc) to tell a school that they are your first choice and you will accept, you better have a good reason not to go (like moving out of the area.) If you break your word, you are risking the reputation of yourself, the head of school and anyone else you had speak on your behalf.

[Anonymous]

Unless there is an understandable compelling reason--like a school gives considerably more financial aid--I would re-think reneging on the first choice school.

[Anonymous]

Its really a bad thing to do unless you have an excellent reason.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your goose is cooked--unless you don't mind burning bridges.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess that you were also accepted to another school that you like more now? I think that's tricky, but in the end, you have to do what's best for your family with the understanding that you are probably burning a bridge (although maybe not for the long term) with the FC school.

Did anyone speak up on your behalf? If so, you may also burn a bridge with them.

Yes. So I've really created a mess.

I'll probably just go with the original "first choice" school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless there is an understandable compelling reason--like a school gives considerably more financial aid--I would re-think reneging on the first choice school.

OP here. I said above that I will have to go with the original "first choice" school. So I'm not reneging. But thanks, I think you're right.

[Anonymous]

I think you are entitled to change your mind. Do what is best for your child.

[Anonymous]

OP- I'm sorry. You're in a tight spot. If you changed your mind, it's for a reason. Regardless of where your child goes, s/he will probably be just fine.

[Anonymous]

What if circumstances have changed since the first-choice letter went out? In a case where circumstances have changed and the then-second-choice school has become the best choice for DC, OP should send DC to the then-second-choice and explain the change in circumstances to the school that received the first-choice letter.

[Anonymous]

Is it your 1st choice that has changed or your child's? There are valid reasons for you to have different first choices, but how old is your child? Why did the order change? Could it change back again in a few weeks? Ultimately I would just go with the school that you think would be the best fit now and in the long term for your child. But I know that might be hard to do if they are in PK since you have no idea what they'll be like in 10 yrs. And if they are older, then are they mature enough to make that decision alone or is it based on something superficial. This is a tough decision, but I would face it with sincerity and explain to the person who went out on a limb what you are going through.

Honestly is always the best policy and there are so many great kids who want these spots. I highly doubt this school will hold anything against you. That is why they have waitlists.

[Anonymous]

I would feel it out with the connection first - respectfully and ask them there thoughts. Look to them for guidance.

Just wondering how did this happen. Writing a first choice letter is putting a lot on the line. Did the family that helped you get in - tell you they would only write a letter if it were you first choice and you felt obligated?

Also, wondering when you realized that you had another first choice?? Just curious about the tipping point. Was it the welcome reception?

Finally... you don't have to share anything - so do NOT share the name of the school where you submitted the first choice letter (that will only start a war of comparisons on this board). But I'm curious as to you what your new first choice is and how it became the frontrunner so late in the process. Please share?