Shouldn't have written first choice letter

[Anonymous]

I think you made your choice when you leveraged your connections and wrote your letter. Now you have buyer's remorse. It's natural. Go with your first choice, you will be fine.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks everyone.

I'm sticking with the first school. Nothing dramatic changed in my child. It's completely my fault. I thought my child would thrive at one school, given the progressive nature of the school. I wrote the "first choice" letter in good faith. But then, my child sort of matured and "blossomed" (yuck, sorry for the cliche) in the past two months. The other school, which seemed too intense for my child last fall, suddenly seems to be perfect. The facilities, the academics, etc. etc.

However, we are sticking with the first school since I believe it is a sweet and nurturing place with good academics. If we need to change schools in a year, or two, or three, we will deal with it. Also, both schools have long waiting lists, so our decision will just give another child a slot.

Most people on this thread have already gotten into schools, but I just want to tell parents of younger kids that it's very hard to predict where your child would thrive in a calendar year, esp. when your child is four- or five-years-old. So unless you are 100 percent certain that you definitely, definitely want a school, do not write a first-choice letter! Things can change, and you never really know how this crazy process will play out!

[Anonymous]

Hey OP -- follow your gut. That's why they take an initial deposit, with the larger chunk due in a couple of months. It's business, and being professional is what matters. After April 1 all the schools will play musical chairs again anyway.

[Anonymous]

We wrote a first choice letter, and we were accepted but put on the financial aid waiting list. Meanwhile, another school, that we debated about making our first choice, offered us an outstanding financial aid package. We went with the second school and wrote a very difficult, but honest letter to the first. Now I am hoping we did not burn any bridges. Our thought was, why decline a school that we love and has offered financial aid for a school that is also great but does not have any money after returning families receive aid. Can you really be held to a first choice letter, if you don't have the money to attend?

[Anonymous]

PP - a different financial aid package changes everything - i don';t think you owe FC anything but an honest explanation.

To the OP- i don;t think it's the end of world if you didn't go w the FC school.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't worry about it--not getting any financial aid is a compelling reason to turn down a school.

Anonymous wrote:We wrote a first choice letter, and we were accepted but put on the financial aid waiting list. Meanwhile, another school, that we debated about making our first choice, offered us an outstanding financial aid package. We went with the second school and wrote a very difficult, but honest letter to the first. Now I am hoping we did not burn any bridges. Our thought was, why decline a school that we love and has offered financial aid for a school that is also great but does not have any money after returning families receive aid. Can you really be held to a first choice letter, if you don't have the money to attend?

[Anonymous]

OP,
WAIT A MINUTE. Who went to bat for you? Would they understand? My goodness do not put your child's happiness on the line for this. When did you send the letter? What month? For all you know your first choice school has a sibling on the waitlist it's dying to bring in!

[Anonymous]

Oh OP is it FA? Call the school and explain. That's what waitlists are for. You aren't burning bridges. Remember, we are the customers! We are retaining schools to educate our children. Don't fall into some master-slave mindset!

[Anonymous]

I think OP has made the right decision ... to go with the FC school. And it sounds like the family still likes the school and thinks their child will do well. As OP says, they can always switch to the alternate school down the road. And OP is very correct to remind folks it is really hard to make these types of decisions so far in advance for such young children ... we all just do the best we can.

[Anonymous]

I guess you all live in some sort of parallel universe where you care what people think to such a degree that you actually make hugely important decisions for your family based on the reaction from: 1) your connection (really? really? I mean, who cares? What impact does this person have on your life? Are they are your boss or your mother-in-law.... ?); 2) the school itself. These are paid professionals who are making a living admitting kids to the school. Or the board of the school or the administration... These are just other people, with interests and ideas that may or may not be the same as yours.

I mean, what does it really matter? I just don't get it.

I guess my life is so different that I literally cannot understand what this thread is even about. My child has special needs and is immediately noted for his appearance-- we stand out, in a "your child is not normal" way, to such a degree that complete strangers feel free to come up and offer their opinions about our family. I have learned to smile (or not) and nod and move on. I cannot care what other people think and survive. So this thread just amazes me. Go with whatever YOU want, what your family wants.

[Anonymous]

OP while I understand what you're saying, I DO NOT and I mean DO NOT think that you should send your child where you don't think it will be a good fit. I'm sorry but I think you should write the school a nice letter (now) and tell your connect the decision that you made. And explain why. if this person decides to no longer be your friend, I think you are better off without the person in your life. You have to make the decision that's right for your CHILD. What will make your kid happy.. If they don't understand.. F them... sorry

[Anonymous]

PP here... 9:15 and I are >><<

[Anonymous]

Nothing wrong with your philosophy, 9:15, but you also probably wouldn't have sent a first choice letter and asked someone to stick their neck out on your behalf either. You would have waited until you knew for sure what was in the best interest of your child and then made a decision. OP went a different route and is trying to behave honorably after a slight change of heart.

[Anonymous]

honorably???? Why should she send her kid to that school? Because someone put in a good word for her? Really?

[Anonymous]

And in a year or two, it would matter even less..... EXCEPT THAT YOUR KID WOULD BE IN THE SCHOOL THAT YOU WANT.

I have also almost succumbed to situations where I felt that I needed to do something based on what other people wanted/expected. Once I was so close and only at the last minute did someone talk me out of it. Today I can barely remember why I felt I had to go that route to such an extent. It was a moment in time, but it passed, and all that's left is the results of the decision that I made for my child.