Tell me I am Wrong: Woman secure resources and financial stability through marriage

[Anonymous]

Since the dawn of time women have used marriage to improve their prospects. Even now, it is relatively rare to find a couple where the wife is the higher earner. 95% of women significantly improve their wealth and lifestyle through marriage to a higher status/wealthier man.

Among all of my friends who married, none of them lived nicer lives than they did after marriage. Their husbands are all well to do.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like among your friends, this is the case. Not the case for me or most of my friends (either equal or higher earners than their husbands). So, you're right in some cases and wrong in others.

[Anonymous]

I was going to say the same thing as PP. Female breadwinners are becoming the norm in educated circles. I believe this has mixed implications.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since the dawn of time women have used marriage to improve their prospects. Even now, it is relatively rare to find a couple where the wife is the higher earner. 95% of women significantly improve their wealth and lifestyle through marriage to a higher status/wealthier man.

Among all of my friends who married, none of them lived nicer lives than they did after marriage. Their husbands are all well to do.

You got a cite for that statistic?

The trend is women being more educated and “pink collar” jobs like those in healthcare paying more. Women in my rural Midwestern hometown are experiencing a big social disruption as the blue collar jobs for men are long gone, but their wives work and make solid livings as nurses and dental hygienists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since the dawn of time women have used marriage to improve their prospects. Even now, it is relatively rare to find a couple where the wife is the higher earner. 95% of women significantly improve their wealth and lifestyle through marriage to a higher status/wealthier man.

Among all of my friends who married, none of them lived nicer lives than they did after marriage. Their husbands are all well to do.

It would be really weird if anyone lived a nicer life *before* marriage and I don’t know any men who didn’t benefit from pooling resources either. That’s why we all cohabitate: cut costs, share chores.

[Anonymous]

I have a nicer life after divorce. I make twice what I did when I was married and don’t have his crippling debt to deal with. I actually live within my budget, and have real savings, and am building wealth. It is awesome.

Personally, I will never get married again. It’s really not worth it.

[Anonymous]

It is not at all "rare" for the wife in a heterosexual couple to be the higher earner. It's not a majority, but it's not rare. Figure 1:

https://www.americanprogress.org/issues/women/reports/2019/05/10/469739/breadwinning-mothers-continue-u-s-norm/

[Anonymous]

I’m actually thinking women have no incentive to get married if they make their own money : who wants to work all day and come home to still take care of the family.

[Anonymous]

It's true that I benefit from DH's six figure salary. Same as he benefits from my six figure salary and eventually my pension and federal gov't healthcare.

[Anonymous]

Both husband and wife benefit from marriage. It's cheaper to have one household; two incomes get you a larger house, better tax deductions etc.

I have many female friends who make more than husbands. In black families, more often than not it is women who are breadwinners.

[Anonymous]

Some women. Some marry men (or women) with lower incomes than their own and with the addition of kids, its a loss.

I know people who spend $5-$7K/month (this is middle class) on housing, daycare, lessons etc. Now imagine if they had all that money just to spend on themselves. They could live in a penthouse with a porsche boxster for their yoga runs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is not at all "rare" for the wife in a heterosexual couple to be the higher earner. It's not a majority, but it's not rare. Figure 1:

https://www.americanprogress.org/issues/women/reports/2019/05/10/469739/breadwinning-mothers-continue-u-s-norm/

These are the wives that make up the statistics others love to cite over and over on this board about married women being unhappier.

[Anonymous]

I make more money than my husband and I still live a nicer life after marriage than before, because together we make more money than either of us alone. OP you just seem like you have some kind of axe to grind.

Pointing out that historically women have earned less than men isn't the slam dunk you seem to think, since historically women were barred from education and many, many fields of work. But I would guess the men that set up that system aren't to blame, and it's somehow just garble garble golddiggers to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's true that I benefit from DH's six figure salary. Same as he benefits from my six figure salary and eventually my pension and federal gov't healthcare.

+100

We are a team.

Two high incomes opened up a world of possibilities and the gains compounded over time.

Very well-off now 25-years in and both still work even though we don’t need 2 salaries.

Early retirement will be grand.

[Anonymous]

I'm a single woman who out earns the average couple. Do they obtain security? Maybe. Resources? Not really. Average people continue to be average, it's pretty rare to marry up and even when that happens it doesn't buy resources for the long term.