13 yo DD’s best friend eats poorly and isn’t active

[Anonymous]

She is a very sweet girl and is a good friend to my DD. Not looking to distance from her or anything but I’m very worried that their whole family eats extremely poorly, buys tons of junk food and has no food rules. Also the kids don’t do any activities. No sports or dance or anything but also no family hikes or even spending time outside. Last summer my DD barely saw the friend because every day she said it was “too hot” to be outside, and we didn’t allow them inside together until all 4 parents were vaxed.

She openly says things like “I hate school” “I don’t read, I prefer YouTube” etc.

How do I address this with DD - that I don’t want her just eating junk and watching YouTube every time is with the friend? I can’t police when I’m not there but it really bothers me. I also just don’t want my DD thinking this is normal teen behavior.

[Anonymous]

Unless your DD is spending hours and hours a day with her friend, eating junk food every time they get together is not going to hurt her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is a very sweet girl and is a good friend to my DD. Not looking to distance from her or anything but I’m very worried that their whole family eats extremely poorly, buys tons of junk food and has no food rules. Also the kids don’t do any activities. No sports or dance or anything but also no family hikes or even spending time outside. Last summer my DD barely saw the friend because every day she said it was “too hot” to be outside, and we didn’t allow them inside together until all 4 parents were vaxed.

She openly says things like “I hate school” “I don’t read, I prefer YouTube” etc.

How do I address this with DD - that I don’t want her just eating junk and watching YouTube every time is with the friend? I can’t police when I’m not there but it really bothers me. I also just don’t want my DD thinking this is normal teen behavior.

I honestly think your dd should experience eating too much junk and watching youtube. Then she will know how it feels when you eat poorly. I've had my kids overeat on occasion and when they felt sick they said "I don't want to do that again" Most likely, this friendship will not last forever and it is not a hill to die on.

Just let it go for now. Just by doing what you are doing your daughter will pick up healthy eating and activity. It is good to see how others live and you shouldn't judge.

[Anonymous]

You do not address this with DD. It's none of your business. If your daughter brings it up, you go with "different strokes for different folks" and move on. You raise your kid with your values, and then you don't judge others, nor do you teach your daughter to judge others.

There's so, so much judgment in your post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do not address this with DD. It's none of your business. If your daughter brings it up, you go with "different strokes for different folks" and move on. You raise your kid with your values, and then you don't judge others, nor do you teach your daughter to judge others.

There's so, so much judgment in your post.

It’s a really unhealthy way to live. This is not a matter of opinion.

[Anonymous]

If your families' values are very different, the friendship likely won't last long anyway. Just continue promoting your own values about nutrition and exercise, and let the relationship run its course.

[Anonymous]

The most important part of your post was the first sentence. She’s a good friend. Maybe she’s been raised not to judge others even if she doesn’t do any activities.

[Anonymous]

You don’t want your DD to be friends with this girls because her family eats too much junk food????

This is a new low for DCUM. Very sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t want your DD to be friends with this girls because her family eats too much junk food????

This is a new low for DCUM. Very sad.

Reading comprehension fail. Try again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do not address this with DD. It's none of your business. If your daughter brings it up, you go with "different strokes for different folks" and move on. You raise your kid with your values, and then you don't judge others, nor do you teach your daughter to judge others.

There's so, so much judgment in your post.

It’s a really unhealthy way to live. This is not a matter of opinion.

It's a matter of your opinion not mattering. It's really unhealthy that you do not appear to grasp this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t want your DD to be friends with this girls because her family eats too much junk food????

This is a new low for DCUM. Very sad.

Agreed. Just wait! The tough years are coming

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do not address this with DD. It's none of your business. If your daughter brings it up, you go with "different strokes for different folks" and move on. You raise your kid with your values, and then you don't judge others, nor do you teach your daughter to judge others.

There's so, so much judgment in your post.

This. And to the poster who says it's an unhealthy way to live, by all means choose to live your own life differently.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I don’t want her eating all that crap. I just don’t. So I guess my option is to just say no to her going over there and say the friend can come to our house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don’t want her eating all that crap. I just don’t. So I guess my option is to just say no to her going over there and say the friend can come to our house?

Your kid is 13. At what point will you let her make her own decisions?

[Anonymous]

"Different families have different rules"

Evidently the lesson we taught our little kids didn't sink in for you.
You can tell your daughter that you don't think she is safe around this other girl so she can't see her again (which is a terrible idea) or you can let it go and pray that junkfood is the worst of your problems in the coming years.