Boundaries with grandparents
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Anonymous
| We are going to spend the summer with grandparents (all fully vaccinated). We are excited but also want to be sure we get off on the right foot when it comes to boundaries since we have never been with them for so long before, let alone with a new baby. We aren’t comfortable with screentime (this is a 6 month old so hopefully no issue there) and ped has told us that no one should kiss baby except us. Is there any polite way to say the latter to grandparents? What other boundaries should we think about when it comes to baby? |
Anonymous
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I don’t understand the kissing part - if you’re concerned about the baby catching something, I don’t see how a grandparent kissing the baby will somehow meaningfully increase the risk unless you’re not planning to let the grandparents hold the baby either. Ten minutes of holding the baby and any respiratory germs they have will be all over your baby.
As for screen time, what kind of limitations are you talking about? Is everyone expected to have the tv off any time the baby is around, or are you just talking about not parking the baby in from of Sesame Street? |
Anonymous
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Your pediatrician told you not to let your vaccinated parents kiss your six month old?? Are you sure that wasn't just when they were a newborn?
That's absolute insanity. Beyond that - I think it's weird to be focused on inventing boundaries to set when there's no sign whatsoever that anyone is getting up in your business or pushing you around. I would say - relax and let them bond. You can deal with issues as they come up. |
Anonymous
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The no kissing is a bit over the top. Although I would discuss visitors to your parents home.
If you handle all childcare you won’t need to set boundaries. You get into trouble when you expect grandparents to babysit but do it your way. |
Anonymous
The kissing part is about oral herpes (which 50% of the population has), not COVID. |
Anonymous
Do the grandparents have oral herpes? You realize this is crazy, right? If 50% of the population has oral herpes than we’d hear of millions of babies with it. Kissing babies is an action as old as time. |
Anonymous
| I think it would be difficult to tell the grandparents no kissing or to enforce it. They might forget and kiss the baby anyway. Or maybe they aren’t kissers and it won’t be an issue. I’m not sure you’re ready to stay with grandparents for an extended time. |
Anonymous
| Just don’t use the grandparents as nannies and you won’t have a problem with boundaries. |
Anonymous
| I mean, will you walk in with a list of rules? |
Anonymous
+1 OP- don't be that parent |
Anonymous
They can kiss their head just not face. |
Anonymous
Stay home. No kissing baby? Bull. You are asking for trouble and permanent bad feelings. Already, you are using your parents for free childcare and housing. |
Anonymous
+1. It’s terribly rude to walk into someone’s home and start listing rules even if they at end your own parents. The no-kissing thing is insane but you can just repeat what your pediatrician told you. Otherwise handle all childcare yourself. |
Anonymous
If you came to my house with a set of rules, I would tell you to find a motel. |
Anonymous
| You are way off-base with your “boundaries” bulls**t, OP. |